As I grow up, I began to understand and see much bunch of things that I shouldn't. I cant blame others for sins that I commited. I wonder why this heart of the untold feels wrong. Have you ever been regretting something so bad until you may burst into oblivion right now?

Indeed you've feel it.

But have you ever thing a little child

An innocent one

Commited a in that only God knows what

A big one and truly completely massive one. Yes, I've done that. But no one willing to stop me in the fist place. This sins always updated cause I always done that.

This is the big deal. How can I stop this? Can I? Should I? For who? 

all the answer of mumbling thoughts of mine is myself.

Come bact to this memorable place after one year. Now I'm studing in dentistry world. I have such a hard time in this collage. I barely can spend my time to relax and happy. Sometimes I wish that I could tell someone that I;m sick and in pain every day every night I have to endure this pain and woke up painfully, I wish I could let them know. And also I'm hoping that I could tell them about my depression and saddess so that I can share a lil bit of my pain but I know that I can't do that cause no one will believe it. Once I wish that I could be free, becoming a beautiful bird that can fly highly to the sky, travel all around the world and live shortly also beautifully. I don't know when will I die but I have a feeling that it'll be around soon. I hope this beautiful writting of mine will fly to my mother, father, grandma, and my lil cute brother. I wish for their happiness and long live so that I can go to Allah first and forget all of this pain I endure. I wish that they'll actually eat well, sleep in a comfort way, and live happily. I'm really happy to spend my short time in this beautiful and tremendous world that Allah created. I do really love you mama and papa 

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