I said I'd like to get my hair cut very shortly.

the length of my hair would be about my chin.

but a hairdresser said,

"no it doesnt fit you, I recommend you long hair.

but if you have a strong desire, I could do it though..."

I was kind of surprised that I never thought

he refuse my proposal.

but it was awesome cause he said his professional

opinion.

then I followed it and satisfied.

gooooooooooooooooooooood damn it!!

though I knew it somehow.

but Im reeeeaaaallllly shoooooked, I thought that would be easy for me.

however, I've learned this time that I was making a fool on the test so I failed it.

lets change the subject.

I hate thinking about Eiken anymore.

I went to Vietnam with my mom last week for 5days.

I hadnt been there before but now I prefer Thailand than Vietnam.

we couldnt cross a road cause so many motor bikes passing by

with high speed.

eventhough a signal was red they were coming!!

but after a while I got used it though my mother never crossed

a road byherself.

know what happened?!

many vietnamese girls were passing out food massage leaflets.

the paper said it costs $7 for 75min.

and I asked a girl that I have to pay tip or not.

the girl said like 1dollar tip was enough.

I thought that was a good deal,

so we went to a massage.

after 75min, the guy who did massage for me said it was over.

so I asked my mom to give them tip $1 each.

but the guys didnt take it.

I asked " how come you dont take it?"

they said

"we need $5 tip!"

I was like

"what?! I dont understand. this paper said $7 for 75min massage.

and I need $5 tip? do you know what the tip mean?

I think $1 is enough!!"

I yelled at the boys. and I said

"I want to see the manager"

then I talked to the manager ther same thing.

ofcourse, I didnt pay $5tip you know.

I could afford $5 but I dont like the idea that

they were trying to deceive tourists.

well I did yell at people again.

oops.

that was terrible though...

I was very nervous and stuttering all the time!!

I'll know the resoult by on Dec 1st.

well, if I fail, I could try next year then.

(cherring myself up right now.)

its been a kind of long time to write my blog again.

cause I went to Toyama to listen something private last week and after came back,

had to go to see a doctor for my eyes then went back to my hometown and so on.

well would that be an excuse?

I gotta keep writing this at least once a day to maintain my english ability though.

Im really worried.

I wonder does it relate to the eye surgery or just having a cold.

shymptoms are sore throat and a slight faver.

I was supporse to go to a library to study whole day today,

but I just went there for 3hours.

then came back to get medicine for him.

fortunately, Im in good health.

actually, one of my friends is a piano teacher and I asked her to teach me for inexpensive fee.

its been for about 5 years so far.

I always think I wish I could have a talent for something.

I dont have anything though.

oh, my husband got a cold, but went to work.

I told him to come back early today.

I dont know it relates to the eye surgery or not, but Im worried.

well thats about it for today.

he'll attend a meeting there.

before he went into convulsions the day before yesterday, actually I didnt want to go there specially in winter.

but my mind had changed, its like I think I have to take care of him from now on.

well, Im going to Toyama this weekend.

then middle of Nov, Im going to Vietnam with my mom.

Im kind like short of money though, travelling is fun.

I can see everything. I mean everything without glasses or contactlenses!

its unbelievable, really.

but!! critical things happened yesterday.

after we left the hospital, we got a station and were getting on a train.

then some guy said like

"oh oh" behind me.

I wondered and turned around.

then found out my husband had fainted and went into convulsions a few second.

I was like

"oh my goooood!! are you alright?!"

then I made him stand up and brought him into the train.

unfortunately people surrounding us, didnt help anything.....

after one staion when we got off the train, again he said like

"I feel nausea....."

I brought him to a bench then called for help to a staion staff.

about 30min rest, he got better a little by little.

then we went to my parents house.

today, we went to the hospital again, then a doctor told him

we dont have to worry about it seriously.

probably, his eyesight had been blurred till yesterday,

then after the surgery he suddenly got very clear eyesight,

maybe his brain couldnt fit that sudden change.

... Im relieved.

tell you the truth, when he fainted at the staion yesterday

I thought like

"oh, comeon!! get up!!

I dont want to be a widow. its tooooo early!!

besides, dont wanna work anynmore!!

please dont die!!"

am I too much self-centered?

well, I think so.

mmm, thats good.

we both are going to have eye surgery tomorrow, called Lasik.

I still dont know it works or not, but want to trust it, though.

cause I hate wearing hard contact lenses. it pretty hurts.

my friends husband did that surgery once, I heard before taking that, his eye sight

was really bad but after that, he could see everyting, now his eyesight became 2.0 for

both eyes. cant believe this.

I want to be like thaaaaaat!!

and Im thinking about going to the U.S in Jan with my husband or not.

he will have a conference there for about a week.

however I hate to visit cold places especially east coast.

Im sure it wil be freezing there.

we both visited Boston and NY last winter and that was terrible.

I never want to visit that place anymore.

cause especially people there were cooooooold as human being.

Im gonna take a rest whole day tomorrow!!

I wont do anything!

well, Im still disapointed with my english ability, though.

I stuttered again (ﾉ_-｡)

however, I keep writting this blog as my diary.

oh, I cleaned up a floor and set up a Kotatsu in the morning.

is it still early?

but we've been already freezing at night.

for instance, almost everyday things come up to my mind that I really hate in my past,

that would happen any moment.

in the past, there are lots of things that I was hurt or people betrayed me stuff.

I know its past is past and dont have to be hurt anymore but everytime Im having a hard time for a while.

thats redicurous but cant stop it.

the reason of cause and effect?!

yeah yeah yaah, I know thats not bullshit but......

or sometimes when Im on the street, bad things happen.

I want to know how do people do at that time?

for like, stranger bump into me strongly but not saying sorry, or

people cut into the line infront of me or

that kind of small things.

am I a person of poor caliber?

oops.