i was going to go work on my homework right after my midterm on friday, but it turns out i spent 2 hours on finding shoes. well i bought a pair of boots for a little bit over twenty. to my surprise that boot's original price is well over a hundred dollars. haha. so it said. i was so tired i hadn't really tried it on after i bought it. wonder how it feels. never wore a pair of boots before.

so i survived last week, one more week to go and i'll be free for a while, at least i hope. i'll have to get my homework done by friday, since i'm going to shopping with bett on sat. i just realize how much homework i'll have for next weeked. lol..... o well. i don't care i need to go somewhere. i'll hide in the computer lab on friday i figure. if they let me in.

studied so much and yet. don't really feel anything anymore really. sigh.

i don't really care what kind of girl you thinks is cute, so please stop telling me about that. i have no interest about that. i am a woman and i don't care. i'm not gay. just shut up.

i'm kinda crossed these two days. dunno why. it the postmidterm thing. i always do that. either i go estatic for no reason or i go depressed, or crossed. well. one more week. one more month. and then home. i'm going to read when i get home. i haven't read for quiet a while, and found my reading and writing abilities deteriorated to almost an unacceptable level. i can't get by without slangs anymore. i should read.

the temptation. why am i so angry. be calm and do my homework.

i need to cook my lamb chop tonight. or it's going to rot in the fridge.

and i think i'll make mushroom chicken tuesday? enough to get by the week hopefully.

this week:

monday- lab report, 141, 150b, e28.

tuesday - lab report, 141, 150b.

wednesday - e28, lab report.

thurs-e28, 150b.

friday- i'll be in the computer lab.

and i don't know when i'll write again. next week i think. now i need to go back to my dear activity and fugacity and you know what.

yesterday i made mash potatoe with lamb chop. kekekee... so good! this is the first time i made lamb chop myself, and i cooked it the way i did with steak. it turns out ok. lamb chop has a better texture to steak to some degree, and it is harder to overcook. for a new cook like me who just put everything down the pot and wait for them to become eatable, lamb chop is the best solution to replace steak. but steak tastes better. actually they taste as good as the other, since they taste completely different. i got to go to safeway more often and get those steaks on sale. yesterday i indulge myself to unrestrained eating. what a crime. but it feels good, with the rain together, yesterday was a great day.

the drawing are so.... something. it took me nearly 6 hrs on just one of them, and i am not even done with the whole assignment after struggling with it for two days. two whole days i'm afraid. today i got to work on chem eng, and hopefully i can finish my drawings tomorrow. well. i have to. in preparation of hell next week, and the week after. arrrr.... at least i only have two next week and not three. now both weeks are equalled rather than just one very horrible week with another horrible week.

it's not horrible, just tiring. but it's great. i've been thinking of what to cook in the coming week. still poundering between two choices. i guess i'll just cook whatever i felt like on tuesday and wednesday.

so tomorrow-- wash clothes/cheme/e28

tuesday-- cook, away from 12-9 or later. remember to bring food to school or i'll starve. finsihed cheme.

wednesday-- 141!

thursday-- 141! i think i'm gonna ditch 150b discussion, e45!

friday-- e45! maybe i'll go to safeway after if i have no vegetable left whatsoever. in the morning i suppose. no other time to do it otherwise.

and i'll plan the following week next week. i want coffee.

well... today i went to mcdonalds with bett and found out what happen. sorry to bett i was so busy before. it was shocking. the more i concentrate on my study, the more i neglect the other aspect of my life, my friends. i need to find a balance in that. i fee that i am not a good friend anymore, or maybe i've never been one. when bett told me what happened today i felt guilty. i wish i was there for her, you know. the feeling was horrible, but i'm glad she's happier now.

it's the coffee! that makes me emotional. what can i do? lol i bought makeup today too. wow.. i spent 10 dollars on makeup! to be honest i think it'll just add to my collection of makeups that i'll never touch, getting dusty in my drawer. and then get expired. well. this is powder so i hope it would expire that fast. haha. i tried to put it on, and then the other stuff. and i realized i look like a slut. omg so not used to hving stuff on my face! but i guess i'll hv to live with that. gotta look professional sometimes. or slutty. haha.

i ate so much salads. honey mustard is unexpected good for a salad dressing. i didn't like it as much before. which reminds me, i still have two avacado in the fridge! arrrr. i bought them like three weeks ago? haha. i hope they haven't gone bad yet. and i need to look at the cost of things before i buy them. i paid my bills today and i realized... i overspent! well... compared to last year and the year before that, i didn't actually spent that much this semester. but still. i need to save some money.

awww i miss my pumpkim pie! :)

today's halloween and i'm doing nothing at home. i'm doing homework actually. i have no life. but i never really celebrate halloween. i never dressed up. arrrr i swear some time in the future i'm going to dress up like crazy.

well.... what other things happened? the past two months's just homework, homework, projects, study. didn't really got to do anything at all. i'm amazed i can do that actually.

and brings me to a question. what am i going to do after i graduate? for now i don't know. i don't see myself as an engineer really. do i really look like one? i am lost. so freakin lost. ar.

i realized i'm more evil recently. like i actually act mean to some people. is that a good thing? well if they deserve it i guess. but i got to stop becoming super mean. i'm capable of that. i think.

i think i cook well. i love my food:D haha. i cook too much. i eat too much. i'm turning into a vegetarian though. i keep forgetting to cook meat. that's healthy i suppose.

my cabbages are so cute. i'm going to name my babies after them. lol.

i think most people think i'm crazy. but it's ok. they're so cute! omg.... i want some bread.

solidwork. ooooo cute frat boy in my group. hahaha. crazy crazy. ar i need to be a better person and not be attracted..:P

wonder when's the next time i'm going to write. two months?

too comfortable living by myself. love it. i was cooking like crazy these few days. i plan to eat stead on wednesday, salmon on thursday, and then i'll be home. i made steam egg today, and i added in coffee into the milk. after steaming it for half an hour, i realie that i forgot the egg! and then i made a mess, and i don't know how it taste now. it's in the refrigerator, i'll see tomorrow. but then it smells good. haha, who knows maybe i made something good this way. let see. what did i made on the other days? ooo... i made sushi! it got dried now, but it was good before~ i need to put in more cream cheese next time, i didn't know it would tastes that good. hmm next time maybe i should marinate the inside, it wasn't salty enough. maybe more cream cheese. it was such a luxury. and i ate bacon today too, with potatoe totes. so badddd... hmm what else did i make? i don't really remember now. i made 3 cups of rice for the sushi, and i think i'll finish it by tomorrow. the rice was a bit too wet at first, but it doesn't have enough vinegar taste to it. next time should adjst for that. awww i was craving for meat the whole time too. i've been eating my tofu for more than a week now, and i think i'll finish it tomorrow too. seems like i can finish everything before i leave for home. today i made spare ribs with the ribs sauces, but it wasn't marinated enough. i think i added too much baking powder when i was cooking it. but overall it was good. it's the same dish that i've been making for over a year now. haha. when i look back in the future on my college life, i'll think about spare ribs.

my cooking is good! i think it is! haha. i will prove to you! when i go home i'll cook for mum and dad and brother.

i hope the conflict in georgia and russia would end soon. after reading so much presidential speeches yesterday... or today, i got into the war mode. i am scared of even the slightest idea of war. i hope this won't escalate into anything bigger. please stop soon.

i need to have more confidence in myself. most of the things i can do, i am just scared to try.

i missed out a lot. need to stop losing opportunities.

should i take judo? but then i'll be all sweaty to class, and i'm kind of scare. actually, i don't really know what judo is. hmmm.

i am craving for ice-cream, but i shouldn't eat so much. i ate more recently.

what should i get for laura? hmmmm. haven't figure it out yet. probably a lucky neckalce, or a kipling bag, or a big doll?

study study study! four more days! four more semester! four more chances to redeem myself, and then probably i will never go to school again. although i really want to. it's still possible.

i'm still watching olympics. it's very addicting. too addicting. need to stopppppp.

i wonder who i'll meet next semester.

and i wonder if i'll do better. i hope i will stop my panic attack. stupid stupid me.

but now i'm freeee. so freee. i should enjoy it before i let myself get stupid again.

i cleaned out my room too. i love cleaning. i have ocd. >< ... i like cleaning things at night. omg kfccccccc!!!!

i really want my brother to be happy. if he's happy everyone's happy. he deserves it, really. he is a good person. just too lazy sometimes. i wish i have some way to change him, his all-too-carefree attitude and his unawareness of the world around him. but he'll grow. i have faith in him. he's the best brother in the world. for me.

i'm worried about mom too. there's just some things that i cannot control. my inability to help makes me all the more 無奈. but hopefully such times would pass, and it'll get better eventually.

i need to do my homework, but then i am watching tv. cabbage is pooping.

i need salad dressing. and i haven't eaten my ice-cream yet. i'll buy my own ice-cream.

thanks bett bett for opening it for me.

i don't get anything on this website but it's ok i guess.

i am really hungry right now, same as my fish who wouldn't eat anything. i think she's going on a hunger-strike. eat!!!!!!

i don't want to study but i have to. summer school is tiring.

i just remember i have another class tmr. omg. at 10. need to set up phone.

what would happen tomorrow? i think i know wt would happen. so boring.

i spend so much money on food lately. i think i have addicted to buying things. for no reason.

i need to find something to do besides reading. or i am going to go crazy. o. i can go play the piano tomorrow. let me find some music sheets.

and i am very disappointed. but i don't feel anything. thank you. once again.

life is going to be boring but good:D but who cares.

i have set my goal to be a humanitarian worker. so i need to study hard now to earn enough money for that. but wouldn't i be like a homeless if i were one? o well. if the world needs me:D

i am going to learn french somehow. maybe next summer in some community college:P

and i want to eat chocolate.