https://ameblo.jp/chouhaku/ Live your life happily.. because THE FUTURE IS ALREADY SHINING IN YOUR HEART. ja アメンバー限定公開記事です。 https://ameblo.jp/chouhaku/amemberentry-11324194923.html Thu, 09 Aug 2012 17:49:30 +0900

i dreamt about you again.
but this time,
i can say that it's the best dream of you i've ever had.


i didn't count how many times i ever dream about you anymore
because if i count,
i'm afraid that someday my counting will reach the limit.


i don't remember where and how the dream started.
but the setting was taken place in Utrecht.


from what i remembered,
at that time i'm supposed to be your kanojo already
and you are my secret kareshi whom i have to keep from everyone.


i didn't know how, but everyone assume that my boyfriend was my former classmate in my home university (Dharma).
and i couldn't say anything since it seemed like my relationship with Dharma was arranged by our parents.
so i was dating him (in people's perspective).

it seems that i forgot that i'm in a relationship with you
until one day, i went on a date with Dharma in the city where i live, Utrecht,
and he ignored me the whole day.
it hurt me a lot, so i decided to walk alone.
i arrived at an office complex building which has many small offices on the ground floor.

there i found ADP-I office as one of the small offices.
i suddenly remembered that i've been to that office before.
so i came in.
the staff were there and greeted me warmly.
everyone, except one person who sat on a wheelchair, looks very busy writing something on a piece of paper.
when that person turned his head and looking at me,
there i remembered everything.
that i met you before, until i realized that i'm actually your kanojo.

it felt painful, but yet relieving.
it's painful because i was still Dharma's girlfriend at that time.
but it's also relieving because i still remember you at the end.

on that day, we didn't talk to each other.

and the next day, i came back to that place,
after i told Dharma that i remembered everything and he also told me that he didn't love me at all from the beginning.

when i came to the office, there was only a boy.
i remembered that boy is one of the ADP-Antique's staff.
he smiled at me, and just pointed out to a small room inside the office.
there i saw the same person was working, but this time you noticed me.
you smiled at me through the glass window,
and i stepped in the room and hugged you. i cried.
i blurted everything out,
how i feel so relieved that we could meet again
how guilty i am realizing that I've forgotten you the whole time before

you supposed to be angry with me, but you're not.

you kept smiling and patted my head, rubbed my back as you comforting me.


then we decided to go on a date, because we've never had one before
(thanks to someone's stupidity to cancel the ice cream date in the real life)


on the next day we were waiting on the tram stop (remember that all settings are in Utrecht)
and we met some of my friends (mixed: high school friends, university friends).
when they asked me "who is your boyfriend?",
i proudly said "Mark is my boyfriend".
they were surprised, because as far as they know i'm still Dharma's girlfriend.


then suddenly we wrongly took a jeepney instead of a tram (don't ask me why there's jeepney in Utrecht. it's a dream after all)
we just laughed because of our stupidity, and paid the driver and went back to the tram stop.
and unfortunately, we're left behind. the tram has already gone.
so i asked you, "why don't we go to my grandparents' house instead? we can take some rest there"
you agreed and we walked to my grandparents' house nearby the tram stop.

we arrived at my grandparents' house. all of my family members were there.
but i didn't know if my parents were there as well. i didn't see them.
then i introduced you to everyone who asked, as my kareshi.
they accepted you and treated you warmly as if you're part of the family.
it made me happy and touched.
you also looked happy.


and from there i think, the dream stopped.



such a weird dream, isn't it?
but it does make me smile and happy.
i don't know if that dream could be real.
but i hope it would.

as you asked me before,
"what if you look on the mirror and i wasn't there, and then you realized that this was just a dream, what would you do?"


if it would be just a dream, so be it.
since i dreamt about it once, and it's a special dream,
so i won't forget about that dream.
even if someday i might forget,
the same dream will re-appear in my sleep,
again and again,
and reminds me of the time that i've passed through.


thank you for all the memories you've given to me.
]]> https://ameblo.jp/chouhaku/entry-11316032488.html Mon, 30 Jul 2012 21:04:01 +0900 アメンバー限定公開記事です。 https://ameblo.jp/chouhaku/amemberentry-11258765608.html Wed, 23 May 2012 21:33:40 +0900 アメンバー限定公開記事です。 https://ameblo.jp/chouhaku/amemberentry-11257059397.html Mon, 21 May 2012 21:56:41 +0900
more importantly...

how should we actually cherish a friend?

how can we consider someone as our true friend?


寂しいな。。。


when we lose a friend, it feels so lonely..

けどさぁ。。。

what should we do if that so-called friend hurt our precious person's heart?

more especially.. if it's our family member!

can you bear with it? can you hold back your anger?

as for me, i prefer to lose that friend instead of seeing my family get hurt.

it's not a pleasant attitude, yet so rude and not gentle.

and what did i do?

i fought back. もちろん！

仕方ないんでしょ？(￣∩￣#


well..

don't cry over the spilled milk, they said.

i won't regret anything.


sorry for hurting you back..

それでも、

thank you for being my friend for some years.

じゃあ、

さようなら！


ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟ

sincerely,

your old friend
]]> https://ameblo.jp/chouhaku/entry-11218001074.html Mon, 09 Apr 2012 03:37:21 +0900 アメンバー限定公開記事です。 https://ameblo.jp/chouhaku/amemberentry-11111857513.html Tue, 20 Dec 2011 01:43:19 +0900

i'm feeling full of spirit right now.

i wonder why.



but it's good, isn't it?



i've experienced the worst thing. that 'nightmare'.


come to think of it,


now i'm more like seeing that on the positive way.



i supposed to have 3 younger sisters.
but both, the 2nd and 3rd babies were misscarried.

so the ones who still survive until now are just me and my sister.



however..



from that 'nightmare', i 'got' 2 more little sisters.
the one is 9 years old girl,
the youngest one is a 3 years old girl.
(my sibling herself is turning 16 years old january next year)



i lost my 2 little sisters back then,

but now i have 2 more little sisters.


isn't it fate?


my mind was so messed up until few weeks ago.
i was so frustated with my study.
i even became so selfish,
just wanted to fulfill my dream to be working in japan..
in the field i like (but don't have any skills for that, tho)

but now i realize that..

i have to be more responsible to my family.

to my parents.

to my sisters.


so..




my goal for now is :

- finish my study and get my titles
- find the good job (i need to 'feed' my sisters!)
- make my family happy
- get married! lol


who should i marry to?

TAKA? (ok now slap me, hit me, kick me)



i wonder what kind of fate i'd get about my future husband.


i really wonder..





-just a thought- ]]> https://ameblo.jp/chouhaku/entry-11107343513.html Thu, 15 Dec 2011 06:07:37 +0900 アメンバー限定公開記事です。 https://ameblo.jp/chouhaku/amemberentry-11096159712.html Sat, 03 Dec 2011 06:46:25 +0900 everything are just mixed up.
happiness, overjoy, desperation, sadness, pain, gratefulness


that's all because of a song.


月の眠る森


nooooo, i'm not blaming that song nor the singer.
like i can. （笑）



rather, i'm really really thankful to him.

i can't attend his live performance.

and it frustated me.


but, he show it to me.
to us,
to everyone who are unable to come to the venue.


and it really cheers me up! ☆


thank you Montage.


同じ空の下で ]]> https://ameblo.jp/chouhaku/entry-11055298288.html Sat, 22 Oct 2011 05:23:23 +0900

i just made hiyashi-chuka men this evening!

i love it when i can found japanese food stuffs easily.
i love JUMBO!
i can found sushi rice, kikoman soyu, mirin, nori, rice vinegar, teriyaki sauce,
even sushi mat to roll maki sushi!

i can found everythiiiing!


love it!


and..


for the first trial,

i made this!

HIYASHI CHUKA!!

as i said before, i'm bad at garnish.
and i just have veggies for the topping!
so don't blame me if the appearance doesn't look delicious.
but well,
for the amateur like me..
the taste is not bad.

i'll try to make the better one next time!


ayayayay~ i'm so happy~!!

this hiyashi chuka noodles can heal my longing of japanese food


gochisousama deshita!


i will make chawanmushi next time! after i make sushi, of course!



write again later.

see you! ]]> https://ameblo.jp/chouhaku/entry-11040412967.html Fri, 07 Oct 2011 05:26:03 +0900