https://ameblo.jp/deeaxe/ Believing is Seeing ja
How long more do I need before I wake up, confront my fears and make a move towards my deepest desire.

The wise may say, now is the time, every moment is the time.
But....my courage lost its way man.

Where is it.


]]> https://ameblo.jp/deeaxe/entry-11535299405.html Wed, 22 May 2013 00:27:48 +0900 I've never questioned myself if I love myself or hate myself, and when I first did, I..... couldn't give a firm answer. It went like,'Eh. I love myself of course.....I guess....but sometimes I don't....actually.....I....don't know". Hahaha. Uh huh. I can't confidently say yes, but I definitely don't hate myself (I think).

It's important for me to have absolute self-love, important for every human being in fact. Because, to love others, we have to love ourselves first so that we know how to love others properly, and we are in the good condition to love others in a sustainable manner.

But recently when I'm looking through my fb photos and tumblr posts, it kinda dawned on me that I do love myself. I love the things I posted, although I hated my unphotogenic face in all the photos on fb, but I love my likes, I love my loves. And I thank the Universe for that.

So I guess, instead of thinking how to make myself love myself more, I should think of ways to remind myself that I love myself very very much, deep deep like the ocean, vast vast like the sky.

You love you too.
]]> https://ameblo.jp/deeaxe/entry-11533238966.html Sun, 19 May 2013 01:10:51 +0900 アメンバー限定公開記事です。 https://ameblo.jp/deeaxe/amemberentry-11515614749.html Sun, 21 Apr 2013 15:56:32 +0900 他：呃。。。
我：我给你钱！
他：Oh,okay!

Have never stopped asking for help ever since last year, but you get to know people a little bit more when you ask for help. Who readily helps you, who hesitates about helping you, who helps only when told about incentive, who helps even wihtout incentive.

人的现实面。

Well, by saying all these, it will serve as a reminder to self, to render help even if I can't get anything out of it, because to help is to provide value, to help is a duty as a part of the human race, & that help is not a service to be sold to another fellow being.

Android携帯からの投稿 ]]> https://ameblo.jp/deeaxe/entry-11472448683.html Sun, 17 Feb 2013 11:18:00 +0900 Well, my guts did got me out of the house, for 15mins, HAHA.
Yeah, I wish I was more rebellious, and irresponsible, and childish, and daring.

It's not that I hate my parents or what. I just feel that I need some 'time-out' break to sort my thoughts, rearrange my values, and I'm kinda betting on this cliche 'absence makes the heart grow fonder', hoping that by placing some distance between my parents and myself, we might be kinder and nicer to each other.

And I've been denying this urgent need to grow up and be independent for a long long time. And I'm ready to start facing it and yeah, start watering my 'self-reliance, independence' seed in me. Of course the very thought of it is very daunting, because it would mean sacrificing quite abit of money and leisure time. But like what NWD wrote in his book, change is always for the better. No matter how painful, difficult, long it is, change is always making us a better person.

Yup, a roller coaster ride it may be, I know I will be fine.
]]> https://ameblo.jp/deeaxe/entry-11392154872.html Tue, 30 Oct 2012 00:44:16 +0900
There's a limit to how much I can put up with someone's mood swing.
There's a limit to how much I can be nice and pretend I'm not upset.

Pfft.
I'm human. ]]> https://ameblo.jp/deeaxe/entry-11385559629.html Mon, 22 Oct 2012 00:21:51 +0900 It sucks when you screw things up, create inconvenience for others, cause others to lose faith and trust in you.
It was these couple of days that I realised I do want to become a better leader.
To inspire, to grow, to help others.
Being a leader is really tough, tough tough. And I'm just not firm enough to assert my stand or stop blaming myself when I can't please them.
I tried, and I failed.
I wish I could make everyone happy, but obviously I can't.
And that feeling sucks terribly.
It's like I never stop frowning and having negative thoughts circulating in my head.

Gawd. I really hate doing this.

Bye. ]]> https://ameblo.jp/deeaxe/entry-11374946396.html Tue, 09 Oct 2012 01:15:25 +0900 And it took me 6 months to face it, or... trying to face it.
Which is good progress, I would say.

Generally, LIFE'S PICKING UP. (this calls for a mini celebration!)
I am reminded once in a while, that my NY Resolution for this year is to not take life so seriously. Relax a lil' bit, chill a lil' bit, and maybe we'll see things more clearly.

Have a great weekend, humans!




]]> https://ameblo.jp/deeaxe/entry-11325371311.html Fri, 10 Aug 2012 23:42:09 +0900 Before sunrise, I swear I will make sure my eyes are dry.

Goodbye my dearest friend.
Thank you for the three awesome years in TP.
I sincerely hope I left you with more fond than bad memories.

Lesson learnt: People change so fast you;ll be caught off guard. So guard your heart, guard your tears, guard your love.

]]> https://ameblo.jp/deeaxe/entry-11300329985.html Thu, 12 Jul 2012 00:14:39 +0900 I haven't been in touch with insecurity for a while.
Oh no. Now I am reminded of how it feels.
Oh yes. I hate that feeling.
What's changing?
What's going on?
I am bewildered.
Have I taken granted of it?
Or did I unconsciously and mistakenly anchor my life on it?

]]> https://ameblo.jp/deeaxe/entry-11294510405.html Thu, 05 Jul 2012 00:43:10 +0900