Ugh! I really wanna lose some weight. Not only to look good but to also feel healthier and fit my clothes correctly. Sorry about this underline. I tried doing something about it but it wont go away. Like I was saying, I wanna lose alot of weight. My friend is in a program that is like the show "The biggest loser" and she looks so much better. I wanna be able to be adorable and I can't so it looking like a cow. I'm gonna have to cut sodas completely out. I'm gonna say goodbye to my cookies and hattie b's is gonna have to give me to go plates of salad. lol I'm gonna learn some dances and more songs to dub on my youtube. I'm not really interested in becoming a net idol yet. I'm kinda going with the flow. but I do want it to be an option.



My MauMau thinks I'm already the perfect size but all guys will tell you what you wanna hear. lol I wanna be thin like him. Maybe my Wiifit can help. I don't wanna exercise at the healthplex on campus because people tend to watch every move I make. I'm very selfconcious and I have anxiety attack when I'm in an unfamiliar place with tons of people I dont know. I always feel like they are staring at me. I have to grow out of it eventually.

No homework tonight. thank god. but I still have tons of makeup work to do. Chemistry is a fail for me. English is easy and a pass. Water fitness will be a pass once I makeup the days i missed. Civilization may be a fail for me. and Psychology might be a fail. ugh! I have to get it together. I don't wanna be put on academic probation because of my gpa.

Sometimes I feel so depressed living here. I wanna move but then I'd have to drop out of college or take the SAT. This state is terrible. I love the culture here but I wanna see how different my life could be living in a bigger city. Maybe if MauMau asks me to marry him we can move to Texas when he graduates! Here's to dreaming. lol My old bf screwed me over big time. Took my v card and everything. He was a little racist and his family were totally racist. I wish I could have waited for a great guy. [Like MauMau] :( I can't physically become a virgin again but I can spiritually become one.

So I'm about to update my youtube profile. Wish me luck with my weight lose.

BaiBai