The big problem on discipline now a days is, there is not time for parents to take good care of their children because they are so busy checking out their mobile equipments or chatting. It takes time and effort to carry out appropriate discipline. There used to be good environments that the parents can concentrate on it, and the communities supported that in the old days. As usual, this is purely and simply my personal opinion, but it seems to my eyes that the parenting comes to the second or third of parents’ “must do” priorities, or could say “have to do” rather reluctantly. There of course are reasons I say so. The saddest thing is, there are so many mothers and fathers keep looking at mobiles while they are walking along with their children. Naturally, the children are out of their attention while they are using those. It is scary. Even a child or a baby in the mother’s arms knows her attention is not on herself/himself. Then of course the poor kid would starts crying or grumbling. Children out of parents’ attention would do anything trying to bring back the parents’ interests. But the parents who want continue what they are doing on the mobiles they just get mad without appropriate explanations. As a consequence, it would be “pasturing” or being hit for the children. It seems like there a lot of “reasons” for the parents, but for example, my mother used to say children are the first priority once you get them. I think, at least, I could be a grown up somehow even growing up under the alcoholic father’s autocracy because such mother brought me up.

　少し道は外れるかもしれないがここで違う側面から躾について考えてみたい。携帯やスマホもPCも無かったしテレビでさえ内容が限られており録画する事もできなかった我々の時代は、先に書いたように親が子供と居る時間が長かった。だから良く観察もする。ただ、我々の時代には今やっと明らかになりつつある一般的に知られていた身体的疾患や毛嫌いされてきた精神疾患の間のような位置づけになるであろう目に見えにくい表現しにくい“疾患”について一般的には全く知られていなかった。発達障害やそれに近いものだ。自閉症は知られていても、自閉症スペクトラムという範囲になると今やっと話され始めているところだ。日本は特にこの分野に関しては遅れている。こういった物事に目を背けようとする国民性だろうか。

Allow me to talk about “discipline” from the different aspect. Parents (or I should say mothers) spent much more time with their children in my generation which did not have mobile or smart phones, PCs, and TV with limited programmes without recording functions. Naturally then, those grownups observed their children well. However, there were almost no awareness on those mental or some kind of physical problems Japanese people try not to admit such as “disabilities/difficulties/differences” which just started to be known very recently. Although autism has been known for some time, when it comes to “autism spectrum”, it just started to talk about. Japan is really behind on these kinds of things. Probably it is very “Japanese” try to ignore or not to admit those kinds of things.

　なぜこの項でこれを引き合いに出してきたかと言えば、この発達相違・障害やそれに似たものの場合、躾をするのがとても大変であったり普通とは異なる手段をとらねばならないからだ。それは子供がそうであった場合だが、昨今は親もそうである（発達障害である）場合が少なくない。しかもその本人達、そして彼らの親もそれを認識していない場合がほとんどであると思う。数値を調べたわけではないのでなんとも言えぬが、先だって友人と話している時、明らかに「これは性格だとかそういう問題ではないレベル」と思う数が増えているという話題になった。それが、以前は“発達相違・障害”という認識がなく今になって浮上してきたのか、実質的な数が増えているのかは定かでないが、自分達の周囲でその数は明らかに増えているという話をした。私の個人的な意見では、実質的な数が増えているのだと思う。それなのにそれに対する認識と対処が遅れているがために言葉は乱暴だが“野放し”の状態になってしまっていて、子供を含む本人も周囲をとりまく人々も苦しい思いをしているということだ。

The reason why I brought up discipline and developmental disabilities/difficulties/ differences together is, it is rather hard or have to look for some other ways than regular situation to discipline children who have that. Basically it is when children have that problem, but often parents are as well now-a-days. And, they (parents with differences) and their parents are not aware of that matter most of the time. The other day, I was talking to one of my friends, and we agreed that the number of people who carry the problem which cannot explain just saying “it’s the person’s character” is increasing dramatically though we cannot tell with numbers because we have not checked it. One of the talking points was, we feel like it is increasing though we are not sure it is because; the symptoms of development disabilities/difficulties/differences are started generally recognised, or practical numbers are actually increasing. My personal opinion is, the number is actually increasing. It is rather brutal expression, but the situation is pandemonium because the awareness and providing countermeasures are so behind of the circumstance, and making both children/adults who have differences and people around them suffered.

　この場合、ただ単に躾云々で済まされる問題ではない。多くの場合家族ぐるみでの取り組みが必要だ。それなのに、皆さん個々にスマホやPCで忙しいものだから見る見る間に状況は悪化していく。

Under this circumstance, it is not just discipline question. Most of the time, the whole family’s support is required. But the reality is, many of them are so busy checking their smart phones or PCs, and the situation is getting worse day by day.

　なぜ躾が必要とされているか、根本に戻って考えてみたらどうだろうか。なぜ社会にルールが必要か。なぜそれを守るように躾が必要か。その躾をするにあたって、なぜ毎日の家庭の中での営みという細かい部分から躾（私はある意味の“訓練”だと思う）が必要か。

I just hope people re-think about the foundation of why discipline is required. Why the society requires rules? Why being disciplined is necessary to keep those rules? Why discipline (or I would say “training”) with or in little things like everyday scheme in each family?

　親が苦労して子供を正しく躾けるのは、親が人間として成長する良い機会であり、子供はきちんと年齢に見合った躾けをされることで、社会に出てからそれに感謝する時が来るであろう。

It is a good opportunity for parents to learn and grow as good persons to make efforts to take good care of their children, and the children will feel something or thankful as they go out to the world being disciplined appropriate level as they grow up.

　最近はそういう我々の時代においては当たり前であった習慣が、すっかり失われている。時代が変わったからそれで良いわけではないと私は思うのだが。そうなってしまった理由の一つに、この頃の人達には想像力が無いという事がかかわっているように思う。これは一部では良く言われることだ。躾には忍耐力が必要だ。教えて怒ってすぐに結果が出るわけではない。それは子供の行動上だけでなく、彼らが躾けられた事や怒られた事の意味を実感する時がかなり後になってやってくるという事だ。ある意味では、どう注意したら、どう怒ったら、この子は20年後に立派な大人になってくれるかと想定して躾けなければいけないと思うのだが、今時の人達は多くは親本人の感情の思うままに爆発してしまったり、或いは逆に親本人が面倒くさいからほっておくような状態が多いと思う。或いは、親本人がそれを注意しなければいけない状況だと認識していない場合さえも多い。

Such good general habit of our generation has been lost now. I think it is not the question just because it is different era. One of the reasons why it turned to be so is, I think it is related to the matter people now-a-days lost their imagination. Probably many people have heard such saying. You need to be patient to discipline somebody else. You cannot expect to see the result on the spot you teach or scold. Not on just children’s spontaneous behaviour (because often they “pretend” to protect themselves), because it will take quite long time that they realise real meaning of being disciplined, being supervised, and being scolded. Which means; parents must behave imagining, for example, 20 years later who it will effect to their children. But for my eyes, it looks many parents (or other children’s supervisors) just blow up their feelings, or on the other hand, they just give up supervising because it is too much trouble because grownups are not grew up appropriately. Or, I think often they (parents or children’s supervisors) are not aware it is the situation they need to talk to or scold.

　元々大変なものを将来を想像して行っていかなければいけない。ましてやそれが何がしかの困難をかかえている親と子であったら、その苦労は想像を越えるものだ。ただ、それをしたとしないとでは後の結果が雲泥の差となる。なので目を背けないで欲しい。面倒くさがらないで欲しい。親が発達相違の場合、子が発達相違の場合、或いは両方が発達相違を持っている場合、これらの場合は子が若いうちに兎に角状況を年齢なりに理解させてあげてその相違が出ている部分を工夫で補ってあげるサポートを是非大人たちがしてあげて欲しい。子供が成長したら、相違のある子でも何がしかの手段を探せば必ず理解できる方法があるはずなので、その“工夫”を自分からできるように手助けしてあげて欲しい。

Taking care of children itself is hard enough, and on top of that, have to do that imagining the future. And if it is for parents and child/children with some kind of difficulties, it must be harder than the others can imagine. But there will be a word of difference on the child/children’s future if you make that effort or not. I just hope people would not ignore or look away the matter of fact, or give up. Under the situations that parents have development differences, child/children have the problems, or both of them have those; whatever the situation is, I hope somebody or society would try to let the children understand the situation when they are young (younger is better though it is harder) to the level they understand, search and support them to find the way to cover/support the point(s) those children are suffering from difference from the other children. Most of the time they would understand as they grow up if you are patient and they can survive in the society with finding “some way”, so hope grownups around those children support them to be able to find the “some way” by themselves in the future.

　先ずは発達相違・障害がある事を認識すること。そしてそれに適した躾けを見つけ実行すること。何度も書くが、大変な事だ。ただこれをするとしないとでは子の将来だけでなく、親にとってもまた子が社会に出てからかかわる周囲の人達にとっても大きな差をもたらす。是非、面と向き合ってみて欲しい。

Awareness is the first step that you appropriately recognise you or your child/children (or sometimes it could be; your parents, your partner) have developmental disabilities/difficulties/differences. And find the way to discipline effectively, and carry it out. I repeat this; it is hard. But there will be a huge difference in the future for not only child/children but also parents and people around in the society. So hope people face it sincerely.

　そして、当然の事ながら相違や障害がなくても…と言うより、無い人はもっとしっかり躾けてあげて頂きたい。相違や障害がある子が愛情を持って育てられて社会に出る時成功例の多くは何かの“専門家”になっていると感じる。余談ではあるが、逆に相違や障碍が無くかつ愛情を持って育てられた人が社会に出た時には、リーダーになる可能性が大だとこれも全くの個人の見解だがそう感じる。いずれにせよ社会に出なければ生きていけない。その時に、子供の時にきちんと“正しい形”で躾けられていれば本人も周囲も平和なのだ。

And those who have sound body and mind hope they support and discipline those. I think and probably it is true that many of those outstanding experts for something have differences and difficulties but taken very good care by their family, friends and surroundings, and they succeed as they going out to the world. Although it is out of the course and again it is my personal opinion, I think those who have no problems and were taken good care by family and grownups surrounded, they become good leaders as they grow up and go out to the society. Go back to the subject; people have to go out to the society at some point in their life. Then, both a person and people around will be happy if the person is appropriately disciplined.

　でも…私が思うに逆…というか…もちろん全てが全てとは言わないけれど、元々うつ病にかかる素質を持っている子がいじめのターゲットになり易いって事だと思うのだが。

　にわとりか卵かと言うより、症状が”いじめのターゲット役”であったり(or/and)”うつ病”であったりって事で、”種（大本、事が起こる根源）”の部分は同じだと思うのだが。

　なぜそういう「いじめられるとうつ病（注：前述通り因果関係はまだ立証されていません）」といったようなどっちか一方からどっちか一方へという形でしか考えられないのかなとちょっと不思議。私はいじめられるには絶対的に理由があると思っている。こういう事を書いたり言ったりすると恐ろしいほどの非難を受けるであろうことは想像がつく。ただ、私の持論として（そして多分多かれ少なかれ多くの人々が気付いている）そこから目を背けていたら絶対事態は根本的には解決しないと思う。人の命までかかわってきているので皆が神経質になるのも解る。ただ、そういった悲劇を心底根本から絶とうと思ったら、いじめる側だけでなくいじめられる側の分析も当然のことながら絶対的に必要不可欠なものだ。もちろん、”環境の組み合わせ”が大きく影響はすると思う。同じ時期に同じ所に、”いじめっ子役”の素質を持った人間が

居なきゃ天敵のない場所で固有の動物がのびのびと育ち命を繋いで行くのと同じ原理で全くなにも起こらずに過ごせるだろう。

　物事、片側だけを見て解決できる事というのは自然相手（＝人間には太刀打ちできないもの相手）の時だけだと思う。特に人と人の問題は両側を見るのが必要だと思うし、決定的な理由・原因が見つからない限りは相互関係として方向なり高低を固定せずに考えるべきだと個人的には思う。（これはあくまでも私一個人の意見です。）

I was reading net news this morning which only shows half of the story for free readers, and found one article about the connection between bullying and depression. It was by British researching group, and it says that bullied children shows higher ratio of getting depression as they grow up. The causal relationship has not been confirmed yet, but somehow the figures showing differences. The researchers did survey when the children were 13 years old, and then after 5 years, when the children became 18 years old.

This is purely and simply my personal opinion, it is other way around or different connection. Of course not all the cases, but I would say most of the time, the children who have nature or character get depressed rather easily often become targets of bullying.

It is not quite like "egg or chicken" thing, it just the situations either of symptom appeared as "bullied or targets of bullying" or/and "depression", and the bottom line is same. That is how I think.

My question is, why they only think with directivity of "one then the other" as "being bullied then depression (again, though it is not confirmed yet)". I have my personal opinion that there is always a reason or reasons on a person who would be bullied. If I say or write clearly then I know as a fact I will be beaten up. But, again, as my personal opinion (and probably many people have notice or been realised), if the matter of fact keeps being ignored, then there will be no radical resolution. Many lives have been lost with this problem so I understand people become very sensitive on the issue. However, if the society really wants to clear this problem, you definitely need to analyse both of bullies and bullied. Of course, there is a "combination" of people and "environment" affected big much. If there is no bullies at same time, same location with a child who has tendency of being bullied, there would be no issues as like endemic species keep their lives growing without natural enemies (as human being as a part of living creatures).

I think only when the mother nature is the other side, you can look at one side. Other than that, you need to look at both side, and unless you get to the point absolutely certifying one cause, need to keep mutual possibilities not set your mind with some kind of directivity.

　これだけははっきりさせておきたい。「躾」と「暴力」は明らかに違い、必ずやって良い事と悪い事の間にはきっちりとした線がある。それを越えた瞬間にそれは「暴力」になる。

　人間の子に対して躾で叩く・殴るはもちろん蹴ることが必要になる事は基本的に無い。考えてもみて欲しい。言葉が通じない乳幼児の時は、言葉が通じないくらいであれば叩く蹴るが通じるわけもない。言葉が通じるようになってからは、解る解らないはまず別として必ず毎回口頭で注意してから、それでも何か取ってはいけないものを取ろうとする行動を繰り返すようであれば、叩くのでは無く手を握るとか、走り回ってしまうようであればそれを始める前に手を繋いでおくなどそういう“普通の”方法がある。何が言いたいかと言えば、動物ではないのだから人間として扱うべきだということだ。こういう言い方をすると語弊があるかもしれないが、ペットを飼っていらっしゃる方は良く解ると思う。多くの人は動物でさえ愛するものであれば先ずは言葉でコミュニケーションをとろうとすると思う。動物達はその本能をもって飼い主の意思を汲み取ろうとするものだ。もし、幼い子でそれができない場合は、すでにそれまでの育て方のどこかに原因がある可能性もあるし、或いは、先天的に何かしらの（あまりこの言葉は使いたくはないが）発達障害の可能性を疑ってあげる方がその子の将来のためだと思う。叩くなどの行為で一時的に行動が制御される場合、勘違いされがちなのは、それは子供が「悪い事をした」という自覚があって“止めた”結果ではない。例え話せる年齢に達していて「ごめんなさい」と言っていても、只単に痛いとか嫌な目にあったがために萎縮した状態であってなんの“躾”にもならない。私達も必死で「ごめんなさい」と叩かれながら泣き叫んだものだ。それでも父親の暴力は留まるところを知らなかった。後に大人になってから母にどれだけ悪い事をしたのかと聞けば、何をしたわけでもなく子供の話す声が高いのでそれに気が立って、ストレス解消に我々を殴っていた事実が判明した。サンドバッグ代わりだったわけだ。

　さて、なぜ今こんな話題を書いたかと言えば、少し前に北海道で起きた事件が気になったからだ。

　高校生が母親と祖母を殺害してしまった。周囲の情報から、かねてよりその高校生は“暴力をふるわれて”いたらしい。所謂Domestic Violence (DV)だ。だが、この高校生の認識は違っていた。「躾が厳しい」という認識だった。それはそうだろう。きっと理性のつく前からそういった行為を受けていた被害者なのだと思う。その子はそれが“暴力”ではなく“躾”だとある意味の洗脳を受けていたのだと私は思う。そう植え込まれていたら、その子には選択の余地はないとでも言おうか。他のカテゴリーの存在さえ知らぬまま高校生になったのだ。DVを受けたことの無い人には信じがたい、或いは想像しがたい状況だろうが、そういうことなのだ。

　逆のパターンの方が世間に知られやすい。子供が親に暴力をふるうようになってしまうパターンだ。親は、殴られるということを日常的に経験していなかったところから、日々暴力を受ける状況にいつの日からか変わって行くわけで、“普通の状態”というのが暴力の無い状態であることをすでに大人になるまで体験してきている。そこから暴力に合う状況に変化するのであるからわかり易い。ただこの場合は、親であるがために事を荒立てたくないものだからひた隠しにしてしまう事も多くあるのも事実だ。

　ただ、生まれた頃から暴力下にありそれが普通である状況よりは、ごく一般的な暴力の無い生活から殴る・蹴るの生活に変わる方が外から見ても目立つし当事者達も認識があるので、事が明るみに出易い。

　ほとんど呪縛とも言える子に対する親のDVはその後の人一人の人生を大きく左右させる。独立して親元を離れれば呪縛からも逃れられるだろうと思うなかれ。私の場合は幸い今、最後の最後の一繋がりを断ち切るだけに至っているが、それでもそれがなかなか進まないし“後遺症”に当たるものは一生残る。多くの場合は例え年齢が行っても呪縛の存在さえも気付かずに苦しみ続ける人も居るし、その呪縛の存在を認識していて親を恨み続けなければいけない人も居る。自分には選ぶ余地の無かった親に一生を揺さぶり続けられるのだ。時々、その部分だけを人生半ばで気付いてしまうことがある。逃げ場が無くなる。唯一の逃げ道は自分で自分の人生を終わらせること。そして陥りがちなもう一つの“逃げ道”は、かえって逃げるどころかもっと自分を窮地に追い詰めてしまうのに、“諸悪の根源”である暴力の出所を“無くして”しまう方法だ。それを思いつくくらい、或いは考える間も無く体が動いてしまうくらい、切羽詰っているときには、その後がどうなるかなどと想像をする余地が無いのだ。ましてや若ければ若いほど逃げ込もうとする路地はどんどん狭く短くなる。

　私も、数ヶ月前に父が他界した事を知った時、何より先に一番最初に頭をよぎったのは、「私が殺す前に自然に死んでくれた」と言うことだった。普通の方には簡単に受け入れられる思いではなかろうし、解ってもらおうとはこれっぽっちも思わない。異常でなければ解るわけが無いのだから。そんな私だ。この事件はただの他人事とは思えなかった。確かに人を殺めることは悪いことであるのは間違いが無い。ただ、なぜそうなったかの理由の部分に社会の大きな問題が潜んでいることを忘れて欲しくないと思う。

When I was young, not realising what kind of situation I was in, I used to feel some kind of really heavy pressure, the pressure being under my father’s autocratic mental occupancy, and I tried to release that feeling with the way, which was not right but often people take. Telling my situation to the people around and hoped they would understand how horrible situation I was in. And another big mistake I took was, I thought the biggest impact I would be able to give the people would be violence that my father used to exercise on us. But the reaction of all was same; they said it is his way of discipline.

I say this clear, there is a huge difference between “discipline” and “violence”, and there is a clear boarder line between good and bad. Once you step over that line to the “bad” side even with your toe, that is nothing but “violence”.

Basically, there is no use of hitting/punching or kicking when you discipline human beings. Please think about it. For babies and toddlers who still cannot communicate well enough with languages, if the languages are not working of course hitting or kicking doesn’t work. After they learn languages, explaining the situation first what is wrong every time whether they understand well or not, then there are so many “regular” way to let them understand or learn good or bad like; if they still trying to touch something they are not supposed to do, for example, then grab their hands, or holding their hands before they start running. What I want to say here is, they are humans not animals, then you should treat as humans. It might cause some arguments if I explain in this way, but for example, the people who love their pets communicate with their pets with languages, aren’t they. The pets, in return, try to understand their masters’ intention with their basic instincts. If a kid cannot respond in the way supposed to be, there is a big chance that child is already has been treated in wrong way, or has some inborn disorder or physical problem that should be taken care by professionals, I would say. There is a huge misunderstanding that people think hitting or kicking is working as a part of discipline when children stop what they are doing just for that moment, but that is not “discipline” because they are not stopping it understanding what they were doing was a bad thing and had to be stopped. Even for the children who already understand language, and they say “I am sorry”, it doesn’t mean they are learning. They are just saying that for hoping the violence they are receiving would stop, and that cannot be “discipline”. I still clearly remember keep saying “I’m sorry” not knowing what was going on while we were hit. I asked mother what we had done that often to be hit, then she declared that we had not done anything wrong. We were just playing like all the kids do, but the voice were kid’s voice and high, my father got irritated and hit us for stress relief. We were his sandbags.

Now, the reason why I pick up this subject is, just a few month ago, there was an incident which occurred in Hokkaido, Japan, and I just couldn’t ignore that.

High school student killed her mother and grandmother. There had been reports to the authority that the girl was receiving Domestic Violence. But this girl’s understanding was different. Her understanding was “being strictly disciplined”. Of course it was. This is just my guess but she has been treated like that even before she got her own sense and turned out to be a victim. She had been brain washed by her mother what she had been receiving were “discipline” not “violence”. There would be no choice for the girl if she had been taught that way. She grew up without knowing there is different way to look at that. I know as a fact the people who have never received DV would not be able to believe or imagine the situation, but that is the situation.

On the other hand, the other way around pattern is easier to be revealed. It is the situation that children work violence to their parents. In that case, the parents who had not had experience of beaten up get into the life with it, so there is a big change on their life, then it is easy to recognise or being recognised by the others. But there are many cases that the parents try to hide it because the targets are “parents”.

Still, as I mentioned, the situation children work violence towards their parents is much easier to become open than children beaten up by their parents.

The “curse” of DV by parents to children would affect the children’s whole life. It is not that easy that you can get away from the curse if you leave the parents place after you grow up. Fortunate for me, there is only one last “chain” to cut left over, but still there is no progress at the very last moment, and trauma will stay with me till I die. There are tons of people who even never notice the existence of “curse” and keep struggling all through their life. Or many people are aware of “curse” and have to keep hatred within them which is miserable life. It is almost like being controlled your life by your violent parents without a choice. Sometimes people notice only that part at the middle of their life. Lose place to go. The only way they think they can get away would be ending their life by themselves. Another way those people easily take by mistake is, although the way would put you in worse situation, but “demolish the source of evil”. There is no room in their mind for think what would happen if they do that as much they think about that or do that without thinking. Especially young ones are living on the edge without any alternate escape routes.

　さて、その短いけれど全てを語るリーフレットを読み、始めて何がどうして自分がこうも“ちょっとした出来事”に左右されなければいけない（と思っている）かがあっと言う間に理解できた。

　ただ、この時点ではあくまでも“言い訳が見つかった”ような状態だ。

　兎に角、何か普段と違う事があるとそれが解った時点から緊張が始まり、食事が喉を通らなくなる上に摂取したものがきちんと栄養にならない。そのために通学や通勤で使っていた駅の全ての化粧室を把握していた。長時間乗っていられないのだ。必然的に、それでも始業時間や待ち合わせ時間に間に合うように早め早めに行動するのが常だったし、まず外食が苦手だった。なので当時はガリガリ。

　それが始まったのは中学生くらいの頃からで、それまでは普通の体系だったし食べる量は結構なものだったので、状況が一転した時には母は心配していたようだ。今考えると相当変な食べ方をしていても、「兎に角食べられる物を食べられるだけ食べておけ」と言って許してくれた。

　兄も同じような症状があり、可哀想なことに彼は今でもそれに悩まされている。しかも彼の場合は“武勇伝”がいくつもあり、そのうちの一つは幼稚園生時代に倒れたので母が小児科医の所へ連れていったら、「…ふん…血圧がゼロだね。」と言い、薬を処方してくれたとのこと。それを服用させたら症状が改善されたので、次に診察へ行った時に母が小児科医に、「血圧を下げる薬があるのは知っていますが、上げる薬があるとは知りませんでした。」と言ったら、「ああ、あれはね、精神安定剤。」と言われたそうだ。

　確かに兄は、有名テレビタレント兼映画監督が周囲にちゃかされるほどのチックだが、あれと同じくらいの強いチックの症状が出ていた。そしてこれも強烈に印象に残っているのだが、昭和40年代、その時代に母は兄を連れて代々木までカウンセリングに行っていた。兄がまだ子供という事は、私も弟ももっと小さいということで、外出をする時は子供三人連れて歩かなければいけなかったのだ。なので滅多に乗らない山手線に乗った記憶が強烈に残っている。後に大人になってから、なぜあの時代にカウンセラーに行くことになったのかとたずねてみた。まだまだ神経・精神と肉体的な症状が繋がっているなど日本ではあまり考えられていない時代だ。ましてや子供に関してなど一般的には知られていない。母によると、たまたまかかっていた小児科医がとても勉強熱心な人で、彼に勧められたから行っただけだと言っていた。この辺が彼女らしいところだ。あまり人の目などという当時まだ日本に残っていた風習などは気にしない性質だ。

　弟は弟で、幼少期はあまり問題があったように感じなかったが、思春期なり長い事母親以外には誰とも顔も合わせなければ話しもしない時期があった。当時丁度、「母原病」と呼ばれていたものだ。とは言えまだ学生。同じ家に居て顔を合わせないというのも難しい。タイミングが悪く顔でも合わせようものなら殴る蹴るをしかけてきたものだ。どうやら本人は記憶に無いらしい。

　子供の頃の環境というのは恐ろしいもので、一生ついてまわる。いくら改善してもあくまでも改善であって“完治”ではないのだ。

Going back about a quarter of a century, I, who turned over 20 years old, got to know the matter I have a problem when one of my relatives who is a psychiatrist handed me a leaflet. It was a thing which was written by him about Adult Children (AC) who have alcoholic parent(s) explaining with plane words so that anybody can understand. I was there on my trip to the area, he (the relative) had to be at work so he left the leaflet to his wife asking to hand it to me. It seems like he waited to the moment it is appropriate for me to get to know the matter though he had known my family since before my birth. And for some strange reason, he had told that matter only to me though I have two brothers. I may be should ask the reason next time I see him.

With that leaflet with short but told me everything about why on earth I had to be affected (so I thought) with such “small daily things”.

However, it was just like I found an “excuse” for everything at that time.

I used to start getting to nervous from the moment whenever finding out it is different than regular scheme, couldn’t take food properly, and indigested anything taken. Therefore, I knew the locations of all ladies rooms of all stations I used to use for going school or work places. I couldn’t stay in the closed place for so long. So, I had to plan leaving home for appointments and school or work starting hours much earlier than what it should be, and more than anything, I used to worry about every moment of eat out. I was sickly thin.

It started when I was like mid teen ager, and it seems like my mother worried so much as the situation changed from regular and healthy eating habit to that status. She used to say, “You eat whatever you can eat only the amount you can eat”, though I recall it was irregular eating habit, I think of it now, she didn’t blame on it.

My elder brother had same problem, and unfortunate for him, he still has it. He has a few “heroic stories” and one of them was; he collapsed one day when he was in a kindergarten, so my mother took him to the pediatrician. Then he said, “Hummm, his blood pressure is zero”, and he prescribed some medicine. With that medicine, he got better, so my mother said to the doctor, “I knew there is medicines for letting blood pressure down, but didn’t know there is such to bring it up.” The doctor said it was tranquilizer.

He, my elder brother, had been suffered with very strong tic just like Japanese famous TV personality and world famous movie maker when he was a kindergarten kid. I remembered very well that my mother used to take him to the counselor in Tokyo in 60’s which was very rare at that time. My elder brother was small, which means, I and my younger brother were too small to be left at home by ourselves so my mother had to take us all being on Yamate-line which was rare to be on. May be that is why I remembered so clearly. I asked my mother after years when I grew up why she took him to the counselor because it was still not well known fact that the mental and physical are connected closely. Especially for children, no way regular mother would think to take a child to counseling. According to her, the pediatrician said she should take the boy to the counselor so she did. It sounds like her very much. She basically didn’t judge with the old Japanese custom or didn’t care the other people’s eyes for what she thought good for her children.

My younger brother seemed had not much of problem when he was small, but as he got into adolescent age, he only communicated with the mother nobody else in the family, which was typical so called mother-pathogenic disease. When the timing was bad, and see him in the living room and so, I got kicked or punched by him, though it seems like he doesn’t remember that.

It is really fearful. Once you experienced in ones childhood, you have live with it all through your life. There may be “improvement” or “getting better”, but it is just that, not “complete cure”.

　ただ、どんな場合でもそれほど公平な環境が与えられているわけではない。かえってそうでない場合の方が多いはずだ。

　普通でも公平な判断というのは難しいのに、その当事者の中に発達障害などの問題を持つ人が含まれている場合、一言で表現すると埒が明かない状況に陥ることが多い。ある意味では仕方が無い。物事の全体像を捉えにくかったり、逆に大きな事は把握できるがその中に含まれる詳細を捕らえることができなかったり数が増えるとまとめる事ができないなど、部分的に不得意なところがあるからだ。

　そういった場合、これはその立場になった事のある人にしか解らないと思うが、一番辛い立場に居る人というのは、自己の発達障害を認識している人達だ。

　当事者の中で、一人だけがASDなど発達障害を持ち、他の人達はそうでない場合は問題無いと言って良いが、昨今では発達障害の人がそうと認識されないままごく普通に社会に出ていることが多く、特別選んだわけでなくても、例えば私の現職場でも6人中私を含めて3人は確実に発達障害だ。そんな環境で日々何か目に見えない矛盾のようなものを常に感じていると、その状況を分析し考えようと思うのは発達障害を抱えていて自意識のある人だ。

　そうした場合何が起こるかと言えば、自意識のある人は相手と自分の立場を分析する。ところが自意識の無い発達障害の人は自分が人に何がしかの影響を与えているとは夢にも思っていないので当然言動を変える事もなく自分の道を行く。そこに普通の人が居れば、自意識のある発達障害の人は分析ののちにその人に公平な意見を求めることができるが、そうでない場合、自分の欠けている所は直せても自意識の無い発達障害の人の行動は変えられない。そうすると答えを出す手段を失い、しかもそのうち果たして自分が正しいのかそうでないのかさえも見失ってしまいせっかく分析したものが台無しになる事が多い。そういう人達にとって、自己分析をするだけでもかなりのエネルギーを使っているわけで、その先へ進むのは普通の場合でも専門家の手を借りなければいけないほどだ。それが助けを借りられる専門家どころか、もう一人の”見たくない自分”のような存在を相手にしなければいけないのだから大変だ。

　以前、管理職についていた時、全く基準に達していない部下を複数名指導せねばならない時にあまりにそのレベルが酷くつい口にしてしまったことがある言葉がある。”怒られる方より怒る方が辛い”と言うことだ。多くの場合、特に社会に出てから怒られる方というのは大体いつも怒られる立場にあり（怒る人間が異常でない限り）、周囲に不満をぶちまける事はあっても”公正な理由で”下の者を怒るという立場にあまりならない人だと思う。しかしながら怒る方と言うのは多くの場合自分も下から上がってきたり或いは遡ること子供の時代にきっと親や先生から怒られた経験がある上で、大人になり部下を持ち時には怒らねばならない立場となるので両方の立場を心得ている。自分も怒られた経験があるから、怒られる方がどういう気持ちになるか良く解っていながら怒らねばならないというのは結構辛いものがある。

　それと同じで、自分に問題がある事を解っていない人達は、「なんて生き難い世の中なのだ」などと言ったとしてもそれが自分のせいであることを気付いていないので、誰々のせいだとか何々のせいと言い訳をみつけ決して自分の中の原因を認めようとしない…というか、できない。ただ、自意識のある発達障害の人達は、自分達に問題があることを重々承知しているので、「自分のここが問題の一部である」と解りつつも、「でも、相手も発達障害があるから理に適わない事を言っているのに…」と相手の分析もできてしまうので、それを説明しても解らないことも頭から解っているし下手をすれば所謂”逆切れ”される可能性もあることを知っている。

　そして、右にも左にも動けなくなり、疲れ果ててしまうのだ。

Whenever something happens with a few people involved, each one of them has their own opinion and want-to-say. That is very natural and should be respected. However, at the last, it should be recognised with fair mind.

But, that is not always the case. Realistically, the other cases are more often occurs, I guess.

It is rather hard to make fair recognition even under the regular condition, and when it comes to the situation one or number of ASD people involved, it often comes out as a situation which makes no progress at all. It is very natural in a way. Because those who have ASD often have difficulties partially on; getting a big picture of things, understand details of each particles though can capture a picture of whole, or putting together when the number of materials becomes more than one.

When the situation is like that, probably people have no experience would never understand, but the person who is on the hardest position is the person who has ASD him/herself and knows the matter of fact he/she does.

It is perfectly fine when there is only one person who has disorder in a group and others are without disorders, but even if it is not a special situation, it often occurs that number of people with different disorders in one place now a days without being recognised as disorders, like my work place, at least three including myself out of six are having disorders for sure. Under such circumstance, the only one who catches the matter something is wrong, and tries to analyze and fix, is the one who knows he/she has problem.

What happens under such circumstance is; the person who has self-conscious of having a disorder tries to analyze his/her own status and the other person/people’s. But those who have no self-consciousness are keeping their own way not even dreaming that their behaviours giving problems to the others. The problem can be recognised fairly and solved if there are somebody “normal”, but if not, the person with the self-consciousness can fix own behaviour but not the others. Then lose the way to process things in right way, if it last for some time, start wondering who is right or wrong, and at the end, big chance is it would be all in vain what the person analysed and tried to fix. For those who has self-consciousness of having disorders spend a lot of energy just doing self analysis, and to find the way to adjust themselves to the standard, often they need support of the professionals. But under such circumstances, it is so hard because they have to face to the people who are like “the other myself who don’t want to see” with no support of professionals.

Years ago, when I was on the management position, there were so many who were so below from the expected level when I took over, and once in a while said that it is much worse feeling that I have to call down than being called down. Often those who need supervisors’ guidance on their behaviours, they have been only on the position that were called down, and never be on the position to call down with some responsibilities of supervision. On the other hand, the people who have to call down with proper reason their subordinate, they maybe have experience of being called down when they were young, or started to work being as fresh men, so they know how you feel when you were called down. Still, to carry out responsibilities as supervisors, they have to sometimes give hard words to their subordinates, and it is hard because they know how dull you feel when you receive such words.

Same as that. Those who have disorders without self-consciousness might complain how hard life they have and so, they blame the others not even think about they are the ones who causing those problems, and never accept the matter they have problems…or I should say they cannot because of the disorders. But those who have disorders with self-consciousness knows very well that they are the part of the problem and analyze what they should do, and same time, they do analyze on the others and recognise those others also messing things around. However, the ones with self-consciousness know that it is so hard to convince the ones without it, and sometimes they get mad when the truth is spoken.

　あれだけタバコを吸い、あれだけアルコールを飲んで、最後の8年くらいであろうか、そのアルコールが原因の認知症であるコルサコフ症候群に悩まされ、酔っ払って頚椎を骨折したがために体が不自由になってしまったという事を除けば、5年前に他界してしまった母のように癌だとかそういった疾患らしい疾患も無く男性の平均寿命を上回る歳まで生きた。

　これでやっと私は解放された。

　逆に言えば、もう何一つ言い訳にできるものは残っていない。その分、自分自身の社会人としての責任も大きくなる。それでも、得も言われぬ解放感を感じる。長い戦いを経て独裁政治から抜け出せた人の気持ちとはこういうものではないかと思う。

　その解放感の後に必ずふと思う事がある。息絶えた後に涙する人も無く逆に人がほっとするという人生って、なんて悲しいのだろうかと。

　幸い、そう考えている私にはあれほど重くのしかかっていた恨む気持ちがこれっぽっちも残っていない。人を恨んで生きる事ほど人間として嫌な事は無い。ありがたい事だ。

　これからやっと「私」が始まる。母の逝去と共に抜け殻になった後の人生の終盤にさしかかったところでやっと始まる。良かれ悪しかれ、やっと。

Just with this timing I started to write about problems which are extremely hard to be recognised because they are often considered as "small problems" although it affect to the one's life a lot, the person, father, who caused my Adult Children (AC) problem was passed away at the age of 88.

He lived over an average of Japanese male with drinking a lot, smoking a lot, yet without any serious illness except the one which is called Korsakoff syndrome, dementia caused by alcohol, for last maybe 8 years and certain level of quadriplegia caused by cervical spine injury fell down being drunk, unlike my mother who passed away 5 years ago with cancer after she had lived with it for 12 years.

Now I am set free.

In other words, there is nothing I can use as an excuse. Which means, my responsibilities as a person in the society grow bigger. Still, I feel free more than just the word would tells. Probably the feeling is resemble to the one which people who are escaped or freed from autocracy after a long battle feel like.

But whenever I feel that, a thought comes to my mind always. What kind of life is it that nobody shows tears, and even feel like relieved as your life expires. It is sad. Extremely sad.

Fortunately, there is no sign of the extreme hatred left to me who is thinking so. It is such a hard life to live with hatred. It is so fortunate I don't have that awful feeling.

　今書き始めたので、なぜ立て続けに三冊も「障碍」についての本を読んだかという極最近の出来事から書いていくのが良いかと思うのでそこからスタートしよう。

　先ずは私自身に身近な方から。現在、年齢が随分と行ってから結婚したパートナーが居る。お互いの仕事の事情で遠隔地同士だが年齢が行ってからの結婚だったので少なくとも私には好都合で、自分のペースを保ちつつ生活の安定を得られるのは非常にありがたい事だ。しかもパートナーは結婚したのはつい数年前だが知り合ったのはもう四半世紀以上前になる。その頃から変わった人であるのは知っていたが、場所が研究室だったものだから周囲が皆変わっていてただの“その中の一人”だった。表面上は基本的に“優しくて”私は逆に強烈な性格なのでこれまた私には好都合…だと思っていた。ところが、最初の3年間は私が専業主婦だったのもあり比較的長い時間を一緒に過ごしたりしていて気付いたのが、完全な学習障碍であることだった。だからこそかなり専門的な職に就けたのだろうと逆に納得してしまった。

　それが一つ。なぜ私が彼について「完全な学習障碍」と言い放つかは、これもまた追々書いていくこととなると思う。

　そしてその上に（本当は「挙句の果てに」と書きたい）、昨年の2013年からありがたいことに完全雇用で事務職に就ける事になりOL復帰した。元々勤めていた所の以前とは異なる部署なので全く知らない所ではないが、それでもやはりブランクの後だし歳もとっているので、最初の半年は多少の緊張感を持ち兎に角体を壊さないようにとかそういう事で過ぎていった。ところが、半年過ぎてまるで何年も居るお局様のようになって少しずつ周囲の状況を観察ができるようになって来た時に一つ気付いた。どうも、位置的に私の背後数メートルの所にデスクを構えるアメリカ人のおじいちゃん同僚の一挙手一投足が気に障る。とうとう知らぬ間に12月には直径5cmほどの円形脱毛症が出来ていた。気付いた時にはすっかりツルツルだった。

　プライベートの時間にはパートナーからの静かな「攻撃」に遭い、職場では後ろに座る65歳くらいの人の行動に常に不快感を覚え、それでなくても職場そのものが戻る時に覚悟したほど変わった環境なのでもうくたくたになってしまった。

　その時点で、パートナーの方の学習障碍等の問題にはすでに気付いていたが、「じいさん」の方は髪の毛が抜けて始めて「あれ？」と思い、それまでの種々の出来事や言動、そして日々やっている癖などを観察し始めた途端、少し典型的なものとは異なる部分もあるがアスペルガーなのではないかと感じ始めた。元々、明らかに他動性症候群であることには間違い無い。この点に関しては、多分本人は否定すると思うが上司も認識していたくらいだ。

　それに気づいて全てが腑に落ちた。そうか、相手は障碍があるのだと解った途端、今度は分析が始まった。

　その時に、たまたま新聞の宣伝の欄に新書の広告が出ていて、「他人を攻撃せずにはいられない人」（PHP新書）が目に付き、確かその日のうちかなにかに書店で購入した。その時、それが置いてあった同じ並びに、「発達障害を見過ごされる子ども、認めない親」（幻冬舎新書）と「アスペルガー症候群」（幻冬舎新書）が並んでいて、何も考えずに三冊とも買ったのだ。

　この種のものを読むのは自分にも当てはまる部分が多い事もそうだし、知れば知るほどどうしようも無い事もあるというのを実感せざるを得ないところもあるのでかなり体力が要るし、読み終わってすぐに自分が抱えている問題の解決法が見つかるわけでもない。そして、多くの部分はすでに知っている事と言えばそうなのだが、改めて異なる著者の異なる表現で読むとまたそれは違う刺激になるので、三冊とも読んだ甲斐があった。後者二冊は子供に関する事が多く書かれていたが、大人の対応を考える時にその人がどのように成長してきたかを分析する事も必要なのでその参考になる。

The reason why I started to think about these things is have to go back to my childhood experiences. I was grown under the autocracy of alcoholic father and being Adult Children (AC) , and because of the situation I think I, myself, have problems categorised as ASD. Therefore, I have experiences of getting support from psychiatrists. However, I have been extremely lucky that I have a lot of good friends and people who are patient, support and let me realise the matter of facts that I have been trouble to the others. It has been long way, not easy, still being in a stage of self-analysis after a half century of my life, and have not been reached to the end yet. I believe this 50 years portion would affect a lot to everything, so I will write as something related to comes up.

I just started to write after reading three books which concerning to disorders consequently, and guess it is the easy start writing from why I read those books.

Starting from the closest person. My partner and I got married very late. And because of our each other’s job, we live remotely, and that is great for me because it is so hard to change my daily schemes and those after those long years being independent and free. Besides, we got married just a few years ago, but we have known each other for over a quarter of century. I knew he was a little awkward person, but because the environment was a laboratory, everyone of them was awkward so I had not recognised his awkwardness as special. Basically, he is very kind and soft, and on the other hand, I am very strict and short tempered, so thought it would be convenient in a way. In the first three years, I had been full time house maker, spent a lot of time with him, and noticed that he has learning difficulty for sure. That explains why he is happy about his job which requires expertise.

That is one of the reasons why I read those books. Probably I will write why I determine he has that disorder as I get opportunities.

And on top of that, after I got a job again after three years of blank and started to settle, I got a huge bald patch and noticed one of the co-workers who is old and sitting a few meters behind me has/have disorder/disorders.

That made the situation I get silent attacks from my partner at home, and get “nice over 60 year-old person’s” attacks at work. I knew it is an unusual environment, but still I was utterly exhausted.

I had had idea that my partner has a disorder, but I had not had any idea on this old co-worker, Mr. K, until I lost my hairs. Since then, my analysis on the person started to protect myself, and noticed probably he is categorised as Asperger although a little bit different than the ordinary one. It had been obvious that the person has Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) that even our department head had recognised it although probably Mr. K himself would renounce the fact.

Once I realised that Mr. K have disorders, everything fell into one place. All those tiny little daily things which made me so irritated, or even actually did not turned out well as results even if I were not involved with. And then, my protective analysis started.

Just in time, I found an advert on a newspaper about a book, “People who cannot stop attacking the others (direct translation by me)” (PHP Shinsho), and purchased it on that day at a book store. And found other two, “Children who are ignored developmental disorder, and parents who do not admit it” (Gentosha Shinsho) and “Asperger Syndrome” (Gentosha Shinsho), just next to the first one, and got all without a thought.

It is very hard to read this kind of things and need energy because I often notice my own problems as well as the others, and I realise more there would be no exit as I get to know details of the problems. Besides, I know I will not see any changes or results right away with reading those. And I was already aware or have read or studied a lot of things on these three books. Still, it was good study reading these which were analysed and written from the different people’s eyes and positions. Mostly the contents were about children, but it is necessary to get to know the possibilities of how the persons were grown up or treated in their childhood, so it was well worth reading all these.

　私がたまたま受けたことのある実験心理の授業をして下さった先生は、この「障害」と言う言葉を「障碍」と言う漢字で書いていた。「害」と言う文字を避けたいとの事だった。

　日本語全般や漢字は、造形的にも表現が豊かなのでなかなか難しいところだ。ただ、それが為にそこにある事実を受け入れないままで居ると、本人に例えば「ちょっと変わった人」で済んでしまう程度のアスペルガーの傾向や自閉症スペクトラムのうちのどれかに当てはまるような部分がある場合は本人が社会で生きにくかったり、子供の場合はもっと深刻で親がそれを認めないが為に早期に学習法などをその子の症状に合わせたものにしてあげれば素晴らしい才能を見出してあげられる可能性を潰してしまう事になる。

　英語で言うところの”disorder”を最初に「障碍」と訳してしまった所から始まるわけだが、この訳が間違いなわけではない。ただ、例えば米国のように柔軟に対応する手段もあったろうに（過去形になってしまっているのが残念だが）とも思われる。米国でも最初は”disability”であったように記憶している。その後”disorder”になり多分今でもこれが主流だと思う。その後、特にそのdisorderを持った子供を持った親御さんの間では”difficulty（困難）”に変わり、ある時友人が「今はね、”differences（相違）”と呼ぶこともあるよ。」と教えてくれたのが何年も前の事だ。

　単純にそれが良い傾向とは言わない。こういった事が認識され始めてある程度時が経ち、専門家に例えば学習障碍がありますなどと診断されるケースも増え人数が急速に増え続けているとは言え、やはり全体を考えればマイノリティーに当たるわけで、その人達が社会に出た時に多かれ少なかれ周囲に何がしかの影響を与えるようであれば、ただ「相違」と認識するのは私個人の意見としてはあまり頂けない。

　ただ、問題を抱える人もそしてそれを受け入れる側もその事実を受け入れ易いような表現というのはあるのではないかと思う。言葉とは不思議な力を持っていて、只単にその事物を表すだけでなく人の態度さえも大きく左右する。それを日本の社会ももうちょっと早く気付いていたら今後こういった“違い”や“困難”を有する人達の能力をもっと有効的に社会に還元することもできるし、そういった人達から負の影響を受けてしまう人も激減すると私は思う。

　今、この「障碍」そのものはかなり認識されてきてはいるものの、負の影響を受けてしまっている人に関してはせいぜい夫婦間の問題に着目したカサンドラ症候群くらいしか形になって出てきておらず、しかもこのカサンドラ症候群もまだまだマイナーな存在だ。しかしながらこの「負の影響」はかなり強烈で、事と次第によっては物理的に健康な人を廃人にしてしまう可能性があると私は思う。しかも原因不明のまま。

　全ての事に関して言える事ではあると思うが、その状況を食い止めるなり緩和するなり、相互的に認識が広まればそういった事はできると思うのだが、どうだろうか。

“Shogai” is the translated word of “disorder” in Japanese. Most of the people would take it as a negative word which is true. Under that circumstance, it is so hard for the people who have disorders but not so obvious to understand or accept the matter as the truth that they have some kind of disorders naturally. And especially for those parents who have child/children with some kind of disorders, it often be unacceptable being told their child/children has/have disorders in any way. That is the very beginning of the big trouble.

In the experimental psychology class I took in the past, a professor used different than usual Kanji character, avoiding use the regular one which is expressing “bad” or “harm” kind of things. 

Japanese Kanji characters have expressions so much even just visually. However, if a person who have slight tendency of Asperger or ASD and that kind you can just say, “That person is a little bit weird”, try to ignore the matter of fact just because the expression of the word have bad image, the person maybe have hard life when he or she has to live in the society. And if it is the case that a parent who have a child with that tendency ignores the matter, that will be more serious because it means the parent ruins a precious chance of the child’s future which would have been great only if the parent accept the matter and try find out what is the best for the child in early stage.

It started the point when the word “disorder” was translated as “SHOGAI” in Japanese but it is actually correct translation. However, I think there must have been opportunities that Japanese society would have been corresponded flexible like, for example, United States. I think it was “disability” in the States in the beginning as long as I remember. And then changed to “disorder” which is common even right now, I think. But later, “difficulty” came up especially among parents who have children with some “difficulties”. Finally, though it is years ago already, one of my friend told me some of the people using a word “differences”. 

I wouldn’t say that is a good tendency. I personally would rather say it is a problem being recognised just as “differences” if some or potentially many people without disorder are affected by those who have disorders when it is still minority even if the number of those is dramatically increasing because many kind of disorders have been found and recognised with medical people.

I just want to say probably there is a way to express it in the way both people with disorder or without disorder can accept the matter without stress. Words have very strong power not just express what it is, and often that powers of words work on people’s reactions. If the Japanese society would have realised it, the society might have been able to utilise extreme capabilities which often people with disorders conceive, and can reduce number of people who suffer with negative influences from with disorders. 

Although the disorders themselves are recognised rather well, not much noticed about people who are affected negatively except Cassandra Syndrome, and even this Cassandra Syndrome is rather minor. However, I strongly feel this negative influences are extremely powerful, and there is a huge possibility that would make healthy people living corpse as cause unknown.

I believe, as same as for most of the things in the world, those miserable situations can be eased or even stopped if the mutual understanding expand in societies. How do you think?

　その傾向が示すように、例えば自閉症スペクトラムに属するものやアスペルガー症候群などは本人やご家族が知らぬまま社会に出ていることが多く、病気なのでもちろんその事実が“悪い”わけでは全く無いのだが、本人も周囲も知らないままという状況が一定の人に大きく影響を及ぼしているのだと思う。そうでなければそういった著書がこれだけ増える事はなかろう。

　そのような状況で影響を受けてしまった人々にも、きちんとプロの手助けを受けるのば一番の問題の解決法だ。しかしながらその“プロ”を探すのが大変であるという根本的な問題が存在するのが現況であると思うのと、もう一つは、この問題に限らず多くの場合同じような状況に居る人、或いは同じような事を感じている人が他にも居るという事を知るだけで心の負担が劇的に軽減される場合が多い。それ自身が解決にまでは繋がらなくても、どうにかその日一日を過ごして行くためには応急処置として効き目がある場合があると感じる。

　そう感じる理由は、私自身がそうであるから。

　そのように考え、元々自分が持っていた日々の出来事をツラツラと綴るだけのブログとは別に、内容を自分自身の「障碍」と周囲の「障碍」を持つ人がどのように私に影響しているかを記録するページを作ろうと思ったことがきっかけとなった。これは、全て最終的には自分自身のための自己分析の一環であり、内容は参照が示されていない限りは私個人の意見・分析以外の何ものでも無い事を最初に明らかにしておきたい。

2014年9月4日

There are a lot of books published in Japan now a day concerning to variety of disorders. The tendency is, not only targeting to the people have disorders or parents who have children with disorders but also to the people who are surrounded by those (e.g. office, living area, or not just parents and children but also partners).

That tendency shows that the situation is affecting many people without notice though, of course, it is unavoidable those who have Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Asperger Syndrome and so on go out to the society without awareness of the sickness and it is absolutely not their fault.

The best way for those who are affected in uncomfortable way is to get a treatment from the professional of course. However, especially in Japan, it is so hard to find the true professional to begin with, and also, it helps great deal in a lot of cases (not only this kind of if a person just get to know there are people (actually many people) just as an emergency treatment for those who have same problem or same thought.

I think so because I was the one who felt so reading several books.

本を読みながら、これまた色々考えた。その時々の感情やふと分析が

できた時の感覚は時が過ぎると消えていってしまうので、その色々

考えたものを自分のためにまとめておこうと思いたち記録のつもりで

書いてみる。あくまでも素人の思う事なのでそのおつもりで。

I am an amateur on disorders and that kind, and this is purely and simply my record of thoughts after I struggle with situations with disorders of my own and the others.