https://ameblo.jp/englishcoach2/ Twitter英作文の添削をこちらで行います。 ja クマさん、答え合わせです！


I knew "Globish" with June 30, 2010 issue of magazine " Weekly TOYOKEIZAI" for the first time.


I first read about "Globish" in a magazine "Weekly Toyo Keizai," the issue of June 30th, 2010.

The first time I found the word "Globish" was in a magazine calｌed "Weekly Toyo Keizai," the issue of June 30th, 2010.

クマさんの文章と、添削後の文章を読み比べてみてください。
どうちがうでしょう？

ポイントは２つです。

１．knew
know=知っている　knew=知っていた
knowは状態動詞なので、「知った」と言いたいときには、
工夫が必要でしたよね。詳しくは、こちら で復習してください。

２．伝えたい内容を意識して文章をつくる

下の3文は何が違うでしょう？

The first time I read about "Globish" was in a magazine called
"Weekly Toyo Keizai," the issue of June 30th, 2010.

It was in a magazine called "Weekly Toyo keizai,"
the issue of June 30th, 2010 that I read about "Globish" for the first time.

It was June 30th, 2010 issue of "Weekly Toyo Keizai" that I first read about "Globish" in.

並んでいる情報は変わりませんが、強調されるポイントがちがいます。
上の3文を答えにした質問文を思い浮かべると、分かりやすいかもしれません。

クマさんの文章でも伝わりますが、
最後まで読まないと、「ああ、初めて知ったときの話ね」と分からないので、
添削文では、最初にfirst を持ってきてみました。




After reading this one, as quick as lightning,
I gave a hoot about" Globish" becauae of my bitter experience.

たくさんのおもしろい表現をご存じですね！
ただ、not give a hootという否定形が一般的なスラングだとご存じでしたか？
I don't give a hoot. = I don't care at all.


hoot = フクロウの「フーッ」という鳴き声 (日本では「ホー」ですね）
ここから発展して、「野次、叫び声」「（俗に）面白いもの」という意味もあります。
英語のスラング説明サイトに、詳しくのっていました。

ちなみに、最近日本でもオープンした「Hooters」という
アメリカ発のレストランの名前も、このhootから来ています。
色んな意味があるので、よかったら調べてみてくださいね。

give a hoot = 興味がある、関心を示す
たしかに、そういう用法はありますが、カジュアルな場で、
すこし皮肉的なニュアンスをこめて使うことが多そうです。

正式な場所では、become interested in, get interested in のほうが良いと思います。



I talk you about this experience. told you
Our company select(s) overseas sales section manager with a good command of English.
Usually, Chosen person have whether studying abroad experience or working abroad one.
I had neither (of) these experiences.
But, our company broke with precedent by choosing me.
This mission struck me like a bolt from the blue!

語順や表現を少しだけ変えて、シンプルにしてみたので、
よかったら参考にしてみてください。

I've already told you about this bitter experience.
In our company, you have to have a good command of English
to become a manager of an overseas sales section.
Usually the person has either studied abroad or worked abroad.
I had neither of these experiences.
But, my boss broke with precedent by assigning me as a manager of the section.
It was like a bolt from the blue for me.


To me, it was an uphill mission.
I had been demands for the high command of English from our company.
The mission demanded me a high command of English.
I fall into critical situation! faced
Because, an inexperienced person cannot be a good leader for
studying abroad experienced subordinates.
subordinates who have studied abroad.　(a running boy/ a boy running in the park)

こういう言い換えはいかがでしょうか？
Because, in the section, five of my subordinates had experiences of studying abroad while I had not.
How can an inexperienced person be a good leader of experienced people?

I am overwhelmingly excellent sales person in the field of the Japanese language.
But, I was a beginner in the field of the English language.

in the field of Japanese language
だと、なんだか、日本語学の分野では・・・　のように聞こえます。
こうしてみては、いかがでしょう？

When speaking in Japanese, I knew I was an excellent sales person, but,
when speaking in English, I felt like I was a fresh recruit.


I learned through bitter experience that one key element in business person at this time success is excellent ptofociency in English.

少し語順を変えてみると伝わりやすくなると思います。

Through this bitter experience,
I learned that a key element for a businessperson today is excellent proficiency in English.



Yes,I did. I took the graduate course in international economics.
This book was a school textbook.

I scanned introduction section and the final chapter in original English edition of the book.
I read the book　(in) about  2 days.



クマさん、おつかれさまでした！！
文章を組み立てるときに、伝えたいことを意識しながら、
語順を考えてみてくださいね。

それから、knowの使い方をもう一度確認してみましょう。

それでは、しばらくお休みになりますね。
1ヶ月間、クマさんが毎日頑張ってくださったので、
前よりも英語と距離が近くなったことと思います。

TOEIC対策、がんばってください！

寒さが厳しいので、どうかお体にお気をつけください。

それでは、また2月にお話しましょう。



]]> https://ameblo.jp/englishcoach2/entry-10768303513.html Fri, 14 Jan 2011 19:57:03 +0900 クマさん！　こんばんは。
答え合わせです。

Let me tell you about "Globish" and "Globalization"
I'd like to write about globalization of Japanese companies and importance of globish today.
クマさんの文でも良いのですが、せっかくなのでもう少し詳しく言ったほうが、
読む人に内容が伝わると思います。.

Japan's Major e-commerce company Rakuten and leading apparel maker and retailer First Retailing (UNIQLO) announced that they had decided to switch their main language from Japanese to English.

Moreover, Japan's Major electric maker Sharp announced similar decision following 2 companies.
The Japanese gave many negative and positive opinions about their decision.

The true reason of their overseas advance is globalization.

Thomas L. Friedmen commented on globalization in his book" The World Is Flat".
He expounded on the nature of globalization is flattening of the world from the evolution of information technology. If all companies don't address the rapid globalization of today's world, they aren't full of hope for the future. Basic tool for communication of globalization is English.

In the field of linguistic point of view, the Japanese people still close the country to foreign world.
The Japanese get only a few benefit from the opportunities offered by globalization.

Certainly, It's true that the Japanese don't have a steep learning curve about speaking English like a native.
steep learning curve の意味をもう一度確認してみてください。画像検索してみると分かりやすいです。

下記の文のほうが、クマさんのおっしゃりたい意味に近いと思います。

These are so many Japanese feeling that English is too difficult to master.
Many Japanese people think it's impossible to become able to speak English like a native.


However, we have a hope!

Our only consolation is Globish!
唯一の慰めは・・・でも、面白いのですが、
solution （解決策）ではどうでしょう？

Jean-Paul Nerriere, a French executive who worked with the computer company IBM, defined Globish as a simplified form of English using only a 1500 word vocabulary and basic grammar.

Let's try to master Globish!


クマさん、こんなふうに、グロービッシュのことを
書いてくださってありがとうございます！
引用も交えてくださって、とても面白かったです。

Let's master Globish と言ってくださいますが、
クマさんは難しい単語に挑戦してくださることが多いですよね。笑

分からないことがあったら、まず調べてみて、
「なるほどー」と思うことも大切なことですよね。
クマさんは、最初の頃よりも、随分、
日本語にひっぱられないで英文を作ってくださるようになりました。
きっと、調べることを習慣にしてくださったからですね。

おつかれさまでした！！
]]> https://ameblo.jp/englishcoach2/entry-10768294327.html Fri, 14 Jan 2011 19:50:48 +0900 クマさん
おつかれさまです！
本日のチェックです。


I developed you the logic of "Globish" interest.


I knew "Globish" with June 30, 2010 issue of magazine " Weekly TOYOKEIZAI" for the first time.
After reading this one, as quick as lightning, I gave a hoot about" Globish" becauae of my bitter experience.
I talk you about this experience.
Our company select() overseas sales section manager with a good command of English.
Usually, Chosen person have whether studying abroad experience or working abroad one.
I had neither () his experience.
But, our company broke with precedent by choosing me.
This mission struck me like a bolt from the blue!

To me, it was an uphill mission.
I had been demands for the high command of English from our company.
I fall into critical situation!
Because, an inexperience person cannot be a good leader for studying abroad experienced subordinates.
I am overwhelmingly excellent sales person in the field of the Japanese language.
But, I was a beginner in the field of the English language.
I learned through bitter experience that one key element in business person at this time success is excellent ptofociency in English.

Yes,I did. I took the graduate course in international economics.
This book was a school textbook.

I scanned introduction section and the final chapter in original English edition of the book.
I read the book about () 2 days.


いかがでしょうか？　いまいちど単語の形や文の読みやすさに注目してみてくださいね！

]]> https://ameblo.jp/englishcoach2/entry-10767134123.html Thu, 13 Jan 2011 13:48:16 +0900 クマさん、チェックが遅くなってしまって申し訳ありませんでした。
今日のチェックです。

Let me tell you about "Globish" and "Globalization".

Japan's Major e-commerce company Rakuten and leading apparel maker and retailer First Retailing (UNIQLO) announced that they had decided to switch their main language from Japanese to English.

Moreover, Japan's Major electric maker Sharp announced similar decision following 2 companies.
The Japanese gave many negative and positive opinions about their decision.

The true reason of their overseas advance is globalization.

Thomas L. Friedmen commented on globalization in his book" The World Is Flat".
He expounded on the nature of globalization is flattening of the world from the evolution of information technology. If all companies don't address the rapid globalization of today's world, they aren't full of hope for the future. Basic tool for communication of globalization is English.

In the field of linguistic point of view, the Japanese people still close the country to foreign world.
The Japanese get a only few benefit from the opportunities offered by globalization.

Certainly, It's true that the Japanese don't have a steep learning curve about speaking English like a native.

However, we have a hope!

Our only consolation is Globish!

Jean-Paul Nerriere, a French executive who worked with the computer company IBM, defined Globish as a simplified forn of English using only a 1500 word vocabulary and basic grammar.

Let's try to master Globish!


クマさん、すばらしいです！
文法のまちがいもなく、分かりやすく書いてくださいました。
とても頑張ってくださいましたね！内容もとても面白かったです。


ただ、せっかく、ご自分の意見を長文で表してくださったので、
もっと、英語の論文のかたちに整えてみてくださいね。
書籍やサイトにくわしい説明が載っていると思うので、参考になさってください。


]]> https://ameblo.jp/englishcoach2/entry-10766967112.html Thu, 13 Jan 2011 12:38:06 +0900 クマさん、こんにちは。答え合わせです。

Good morning! coach.
Let me tell you the detail of my dream.

This twitter is a voluminous my work.
Today's tweets are so long.
I wrote so much today.
voluminous work は、大著をあらわす言葉なので
ここには当てはまらないかもしれません。

冠詞 (a) と所有格(my）は、通常いっしょに使いません。

When I was 19 years old, I read biography of Akio Morita, the founder of Sony.
I was deeply impressed () an episode of developing US market alone.
I get to know that many excellent CEO got the degree of MBA in America.
learned

learn = 知識を得る、知る、学ぶ
便利な言葉なので、使い方を確認してみてください☆

get to know = 親密になる、知り合う　

And,The person of playing an active part in the world have the high ability of communication in English.
And those business leaders who are active internationally have high English communication skills.


I realized that I must have the ability speak English fluently.
It was the first priority in myself.
became my first priority.

But I couldn't study abroad because of financial issue.
I studied English in English-conversation school.

I made friends with English teachers in this school.
and I could take talk to American teachers by handling a broken English without hesitation.
using

handleのニュアンスをもう一度確認してください。

少し文章を入れ替えてみましたが、
こういうふうにしてみたら、いかがでしょう？

I have become able to talk to American teachers without hesitations.
Although I could speak only broken English,
I was awakened to the pleasure of English conversation.


After  graduate
graduation, I joined a trading company that handle(s) the foreign products.
a trading company handling foreign products

I believed that I steady advanced to my dream.
I fell right into the pitfall. After 3 months, I was disappointed by our company policy.

Our company usually assign() a person who studied abroad to a post abroad.
In the end, I was the salesperson in charge of domestic products.
My chance of speaking English has decreased.

I worked hard without surrendering to a sense of this failure.

But, My dream didn't come true.
After all, I had entirely forgot my dream.

But, One failure reminded me of my dream to go abroad again.
This failure was caused by my English inadequacy.
I was assigned to be a manager of overseas sales division in japan
in spite of inexperience in working abroad. After all, I was unsuccessful.

I swore to put this failure down to experience.



after graduation 以降、少し文章の順番と表現を変えてみました。
こちらのほうが伝わりやすいと思いますが、いかがですか？
よかったら参考にしてみてくださいね。

After graduation, I joined a trading company handling foreign products.
I thought I was moving forward steadily to my dream to become a leader like Akio Morita
because there would be a lot of opportunities to brush up my English skill in a trading company.

After 3 months, however, I was disappointed by the company policy.
In their policy, only those who have studied abroad can work in overseas division.
I was assigned to be a salesperson of domestic products.
So I wasn't given any opportunities to use English at all.

I felt like I fell right into a pitfall on the way to achieving my dream.

Despite of the sense of disappointment, I worked hard,
and as a result, became a success as a domestic salesperson.

In busy days, I'd forgotten about my dream completely although it hadn't come true.

After several years, I remembered my dream once again
because of one failure caused by my English inadequacy.
Breaking with a precedent, although I had no experience in studying abroad,
I finally got a post in overseas division.
But actually, I was unsuccessful in the division and
I learned that I didn't have enough English communication skill for the post.

I swore to put this failure down to experience.



おつかれさまでした。
いかがでしたでしょうか？　：）

まとまった量の英文が書けるようになりましたね！

次は、英語特有の「序論・本論・結論」を意識してみましょうね。
いろんなウェブサイトや書籍に説明がのっているので、ぜひ調べてみてください。

きっとクマさんなら、意識すればすぐに上達すると思います！


  ]]> https://ameblo.jp/englishcoach2/entry-10766870702.html Thu, 13 Jan 2011 09:58:18 +0900 クマさん、今日のチェックです。

Good morning! coach.
Let me tell you the detail of my dream.
This twitter is a voluminous my work.

When I was 19 years old, I read biography of Akio Morita, the founder of Sony.
I was deeply impressed () an episode of developing US market alone.
I get to know that many excellent CEO got the degree of MBA in America.
And,The person of playing an active part in the world have the high ability of communication in English.
I though that I must have the ability speak English fluently.

It was the first priority in myself.
But I couldn't study abroad because of financial issue.
I studied English in English-conversation school.

I made friends with English teachers in this school.
I was awaked to the pleasure of English conversation
and I could take to American teachers by handling a broken English without hesitation.

After graduate, I joined a trading company that handle() the foreign products.

I believed that I steady advanced to my dream.
I fell right into the pitfall. After 3 months, I was disappointed by our company policy.

Our company usually assign() a person who studied abroad to a post abroad.
In the end, I was the salesperson in charge of domestic products.
My chance of speaking English has decreased.

I worked hard without surrendering to a sense of this failure.
I was a success as a domestic salesperson.
But, My dream didn't come true.
After all, I had entirely forgot my dream.

But, One failure reminded me of my dream to abroad again.
This failure was caused by my English inadequacy.
I was assigned to be a manager of overseas sales division in japan
in spite of inexperience in working abroad. After all, I was unsuccessful.

I swore to put this failure down to experience.


長文、お疲れさまでした！！
内容もとても分かりやすかったです！
とっても頑張ってくださったのが分かりました。

ご自分で調べながら、慎重に英文を作ってくださるようになりましたね！

実際に英語で会話をするときには、多少まちがっても良いのですが、
ご自分で調べたりすることは、日頃の英語学習において、とても大切なことです。

せっかく長文をつくってくださったので、
次のレベルアップのために、英語の長文の構造を勉強いたしましょう。

こちらに分かりやすく説明してあったので、ご参考になさってみてください。


検索してみると、いろいろ資料が見つかると思いますので、
今度は、そのルールに沿ってもう一度書いてみてください！

それができると、実際に英語を使って仕事をする際に、とても役に立つと思います。
（ビジネスにおけるプレゼンテーションと形が似ていると思います） ]]> https://ameblo.jp/englishcoach2/entry-10765361599.html Tue, 11 Jan 2011 20:18:42 +0900 クマさん、答え合わせです。


When I was the a top salesperson,
I often saw the sights of Kyoto with the　a guest from abroad.
初出なのでaにしてください。

My best sightseeing route was (to go to) "Kiyomizu-dera"
"Kiyomizu-dera" is an independent Buddhist temple in eastern Kyoto.
It is one of the famous temples of the world.

When I visited (there,) I said to him" We often use a proverb "jump off the stage at Kiyomizu".
This expression "jump off the stage at Kyomizu" is a same meaning
as the English expression "take the plunge".

A few days (later) , We had a hot discussion about a price to one target customer.

I recommended that he show a drastic price to this customer.
drastically high price

drastic price cuts, drastic price increase, drastic price difference
などとは言えます。drastic price では使えなさそうです。


参考になりそうなページを見つけました。
"How to sell at high prices"をご覧ください。
6にこんな文章があります。
It's all about increasing the value of those products.
It may be easier when you're first starting out with drastically high prices to work your way up to them, raising the price every time you add value.





I said "Please remember Kiyomizu-dera" to him so that he decided it.
He seemed to be hesitating, so I whispered (said) to him
"please remember what I said about kiyomizu dera,"
then finally he agreed to show the high price to the client.
こういうふうにしてみてはいかがでしょうか？

No, I don't. Because I am not a salesperson now.
But I often hosted to guests from overseas when I was a salesperson.

Yes. I want to eat rice porridge with seven herbs.
But I have to attend a new year's party,
I've been attending 3 new year parties every night from 5th of January.

おつかれさまでした。

読んでいてとても楽しかったです。

文法のミスも少なかったですね。
♪

清水の舞台から飛び降りるようなお買い物、最近してないなぁ。


]]> https://ameblo.jp/englishcoach2/entry-10765061503.html Tue, 11 Jan 2011 14:24:06 +0900 クマさん　今日のチェックです。

When I was the top salesperson,
I often saw the sights of Kyoto with the guest from abroad.
My best sightseeing route was () "Kiyomizu-dera"
"Kiyomizu-dera" is an independent Buddhist temple in eastern Kyoto.
It is one of the famous temples of the world.

When I visited () I said to him" We often use a proverb "jump off the stage at Kiyomizu".
This expression "jump off the stage at Kyomizu" is a same meaning
as the English expression "take the plung".

A few days () , We had a hot discussion about a price to one target customer.

I recommended that he show a drastic price to this customer.
I said "Please remember Kiyomizu-dera" to him so that he decided it.


No, I don't. Because I am not a salesperson now.
But I often hosted to guests from overseas when I was a salesperson.

Yes. I want to eat rice porridge with seven herbs.
But I must attend 3 new years party from January 5 to today every days!


おつかれさまでした。

清水寺のお話、とても素敵でした。

本日の英文は全体的にとてもわかりやすく、
コントロールが行きとどいていた感じがします。

明日から三連休ですね！
すてきな連休をお過ごしになってください。
寒いのでくれぐれもお体にお気をつけください。

また火曜日にお話できるのを楽しみにしています。


]]> https://ameblo.jp/englishcoach2/entry-10760960163.html Fri, 07 Jan 2011 14:55:27 +0900 クマさん、きのうの答え合わせです。

Let me introduce myself in English.
tell you why I started studying English.


Breaking with (a) precedent,
I was assigned (to be a)manager of overseas section 3 years ago.
I feel felt my English was not too good. not very good.

The boss who is not good at English commands 5 subordinates

with studying abroad experience.

An inexperienced person cannot be a good leader for experienced subordinates.
Five of my subordinates had experiences abroad while I hadn't any.


It was very difficult mission.
I think setting an example is very important,
and A leader must possess a charismatic personality.


After all, I wasn't good at leading couldn't lead teams to completing successful project.
In the end, I was dismissed one year later.
This experience .taught me how important studying English was!
I felt I need to improve my English, so I chose TOEIC Test. decided to take TOEIC test.
I still feel my English is not too good, not very good.
But if I continue to work hard at it, I'm sure it will get better.

I have a license of the overseas residence in our company.
But, I took a license 15 years ago.
And I did not have the experience that got work with English.

When I attended the meeting,
I couldn't understand one person's explanation.
In an unguarded moment, I spoke said" What's your point?
Suddenly, The room was filled with the blizzard air.
After the meeting, I know learned that " what's your point" is very strict voice.

Unfortunately, I didn't understand his English. English.

これは日本語で回答させて下さい。
英語力が無ければセールスのセンスやマネジメント力も生かせない。
日本語での私のカリスマ性が英語の世界では無効であることを言いたくて書きました。

Sorry. I made a mistake.
true: corrected: overseas sales division in Japan

英語力の弱い上司が留学経験のある部下を掌握するのは困難と言いたくて書きました。


おつかれさまでした。
連休中に、もうすこし詳しい説明を加えますね！

すてきな新年会を！！おやすみなさい。
]]> https://ameblo.jp/englishcoach2/entry-10760957728.html Fri, 07 Jan 2011 14:53:03 +0900 クマさん！
２０１１年の英作文、初日おつかれさまでした。

新年早々、またいじわるなレッスンです。
今日のクマさんの朝の文章はこのように聞こえました。

すこし言葉が足りなかった部分や、
順番を変えた方がいいと思う部分など、考えてみてください。


英語で自己紹介をします。

異例にも、私は海外部門のマネージャーに任命されました。３年前のことです。
私は自分の英語力は良すぎない
のに、と感じています。
英語のできないボスは、５人の部下に海外で勉強してこいと命令します。

とても大変な仕事でした。
前例をつくることはとても大切ですし、
リーダーというものはカリスマ的人格を持っていなくてはいけません。

結局のところ、チームのリーダーとして、プロジェクトを成功させることが苦手だったのです。
最終的に、私は１年後クビになりました。

この経験は英語を勉強することの重要さを教えてくれました。
英語を勉強する必要性を感じたので、TOEICテストを選びました。
いまだに私の英語は良すぎるとは思いません。
ですが、このまま頑張り続ければ上達すると私は信じています。


Let me introduce myself in English.


Breaking with () precedent,
I was assigned ()manager of overseas section 3 years ago.
I feel my English was not too good.
The boss who is not good at English commands 5 subordinates

with studying abroad experience.

It was very difficult mission.
I think setting an example is very important,
and A leader must possess a charismatic personality.

After all, I wasn't good at leading teams to completing successful project.
In the end, I was dismissed one year later.
This experience .taught me how important studying English was!
I felt I need to improve my English, so I chose TOEIC Test.
I still feel my English is not too good,
But if I continue to work hard at it, I'm sure it will get better.

I have a license of the overseas residence in our company.
But, I took a license 15 years ago.
And I did not have the experience that got work with English.

When I attended the meeting,
I couldn't understand one person's explanation.
In an unguarded moment, I spoke" What's your point?
Suddenly, The room was filled with the blizzard air.
After the meeting, I know that " what's your point" is very strict voice.

Unfortunately, I didn't understand his English.

これは日本語で回答させて下さい。
英語力が無ければセールスのセンスやマネジメント力も生かせない。
日本語での私のカリスマ性が英語の世界では無効であることを言いたくて書きました。

Sorry. I made a mistake.
true: overseas sales division in Japan

英語力の弱い上司が留学経験のある部下を掌握するのは困難と言いたくて書きました。


お疲れ様です、クマさん。
お正月はいかがでしたか？
おひさしぶりですね！

a license of the overseas residenceとは、なんでしょう？
なにかテストがあるものなのでしょうか？
今度、教えてください。

さて、クマさん。

もう少しシンプルに、言いたいことを絞って、
文章を構成してみるともっとよくなると思います。


改善ポイント

文章を読むときに読み手がなにを期待するかを意識しましょう。

たとえば、文の最初に、
「これから私の自己紹介をします」
と書いてあるとき、そのあとに続く内容は、
どんなものを期待しますか？

「私は福井出身です。大学では○○を勉強しました。
趣味は、旅行をすることです。」
こういう内容を期待しませんか？

ところが、「これから私が英語を勉強するようになった理由をお話します」と読むと、
次にどういうエピソードが期待できますか？

英語で失敗したエピソードや、
英語を好きになったエピソードが続くと予想ができ、
内容を理解しやすくなります。

初めに、なんの話をするのかはっきりさせるのは大切なことです。

また、文頭だけでなく、文中もそうです。
「とても大変な仕事でした。」と言われたら、
次には、「どういうふうに大変だったか」という内容がくると、読み手は期待します。





このポイントを意識しながら、文章を構成し直してみてくださいね。

]]> https://ameblo.jp/englishcoach2/entry-10759695978.html Thu, 06 Jan 2011 08:52:12 +0900