My in-laws were married for more than 50 years, and it is heartbreaking to see her compound her grief with these thoughts. We have suggested various reasons that someone might have sent the flowers anonymously, but she refuses to accept them.

Is sending flowers this way unusual? Or are there good reasons to do it? For the record, is it even good manners to send flowers to a funeral anonymously? Or is my mother-in-law's reaction normal? -- GRIEVING IN GEORGETOWN, TEXAS

DEAR GRIEVING: Your mother-in-law is grieving. She is fragile right now, and possibly not thinking straight. A card may have been sent with the bouquet that was somehow lost in transit.

That she was married to her husband for 50 years and now suspects he was unfaithful because of a bouquet of flowers at the man's funeral is a sad reflection on their marriage. She should discuss this with her spiritual adviser, if she has one, or a grief therapist.

DEAR ABBY: I am in my early 30s and have been married for five years. My husband and I decided to have a baby, and five months ago I found out I was pregnant. When I told my mom the great news, she wasn't happy to hear it. She doesn't care. All she cares about is how "fat" I'm going to get.

My mother never wants to talk about anything baby-related. If I complain about an ache or pain, she quickly says, "It's because you're fat!" The last time I went to the OB/GYN for a checkup, Mom didn't even ask if everything was OK. All she said was, "How much weight have you gained?"

It hurts me so much that she treats me and her future grandchild this way. I almost feel like having this baby was a mistake. Please help me. I don't know what to do anymore. -- ALMOST IN TEARS IN OHIO

DEAR ALMOST IN TEARS: Stop depending so much on your mother's approval and you'll have a happier pregnancy. The person you should talk to about your weight is your OB/GYN. If your weight is such that it might affect your health or your baby's, you need to know it ASAP. Your doctor can refer you to a nutritionist if you need guidance about your diet.

Your relationship with your mother doesn't appear to be particularly positive. As you grow closer to motherhood, talk more with your girlfriends, talk more to your husband and less to your mother.

DEAR ABBY: I don't go to nightclubs often, so I'm curious as to what the protocol is for this. Sometimes, in the ladies' room, there is a woman there with toiletries, gum, cosmetics, etc. Before you can get your own, she puts soap in your hand and gives you a paper towel. There is a bowl on the counter for people to leave tips. The club manager says she isn't an employee of the club, but simply looking to make tips. I understand this.

My question: Am I supposed to tip her just once for the evening, or each time I use the ladies' room? -- INQUISITIVE CLUBBER IN FLORIDA

DEAR CLUBBER: Tip the attendant each time you use the bathroom and she hands you the soap and towel -- the standard rate is 50 cents to a dollar. However, if you tip the person generously the first time, you shouldn't feel obligated to do it again if you need to return.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby ator P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

[More from BGR: ]

Releasing a gold iPhone model is a departure from Apples tradition of only releasing iPhones in black or white. Some observers have speculated that Apple has added gold to its iPhone color portfolio to make the device more attractive in China and India, where gold phones are popular items. Apple is also trying to broaden its appeal in emerging markets by releasing the lower-cost iPhone 5C that will have similar specs to the iPhone 5S but will be made with a cheaper plastic casing and not the standard aluminum that Apple uses on its high-end devices.

[More from BGR: ]

Apple is expected to officially launch its next generation of iPhone models at a September 10th press event where it will show off both theand the 5C. The iPhone 5S is expected to have a faster processor, an upgraded camera with a dual-LED flash andthat will be used to identify and authenticate users.

More pictures of the gold iPhone 5S follow below.

This article was

Traders are refraining from big moves as they await the release of the minutes from the Federal Reserve's July policy meeting for hints of whether and when the bank will begin cutting back on its monthly bond purchases. The focus will remain on the Fed on Thursday, when it starts its annual conference in Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

"The volatility these two events could cause to markets could see bond yields overshooting fair value, and equity markets logging five and six day losing streaks," said Evan Lucas of IG in Melbourne, Australia.

Japan's Nikkei 225 index fell 0.5 percent to 13,684.60. Hong Kong's Hang Seng dropped 0.3 percent to 22,389.06. Australia's S&P/ASX 200 lost 0.5 percent to 5,085. South Korea's Kospi rose 0.2 percent to 1,919.96.

Recent economic data and public statements by Fed policymakers have led to expectations that the Fed might begin winding down its $85 billion a month in asset purchases next month. That would decrease the demand for bonds, lowering their prices and raising their yields.

Rising yields in the U.S. have already sparked jitters among Wall Street investors as they fear higher lending costs could stifle economic recovery. Stocks fell Monday as investors continued to sell bonds, pushing yields to multi-year highs. The yield on the 10-year Treasury note rose to 2.88 percent, the highest since July 2011.

The Dow Jones industrial average fell 0.5 percent to close Monday at 15,010.74. The Standard & Poor's 500 dropped 0.6 percent, to 1,646.06. The Nasdaq composite fell 0.4 percent to 3,589.09.

Meanwhile, the deficit in India's current account a broad measure of its trade and investment transactions with the rest of the world has been garnering attention following a nearly 5.6 percent drop in the country's benchmark Sensex index since Friday.

The current account deficit widened to 4.4 percent of gross domestic production in the second quarter of 2013, analysts said, as exports slumped due to weaker commodity prices and imports rose on the back of rising fuel and other costs.

"The current account may remain in a structural deficit and persist for longer, unless commodity prices and demand recover more significantly," said analysts at Bank of America Merrill Lynch in a commentary.

Analysts at Credit Agricole CIB in Hong Kong called India "vulnerable," and noted that Moody's decision to maintain a stable outlook on India's credit rating "is unlikely to change pressure on its assets."

Benchmark oil for September delivery was down 4 cents at $107.06 per barrel in electronic trading on the New York Mercantile Exchange. The contract closed down 36 cents to $107.10 on the Nymex on Monday.

In currencies, the dollar rose to 97.77 yen from 97.62 yen late Monday. The euro was unchanged at $1.3333.

___

Follow Pamela Sampson on Twitter at http://twitter.com/pamelasampson

In a 2-1 decision, a three-judge panel upheld the first-degree murder conviction of Deyundrea Orlando Holmes for the 2003 shooting death of Kevin "Mo" Nelson outside a Reno recording studio.

Holmes wasn't arrested until 2008 after genetic evidence recovered from a cigarette butt gathered at the murder scene matched his DNA. He was on parole in California at the time of his arrest. He was convicted and sentenced in 2011 in to life without possible parole.

In his appeal, Holmes argued Washoe District Judge Janet Berry should not have allowed a jury to hear lyrics to a rap song, "Drug Deala," that he penned in jail while awaiting extradition from California.

Part of the lyrics read, "I catching slipping at the club and jack you for your necklace." In gangsta parlance, "jacking" is slang for robbery.

The lyrics also referenced, "I'm parking lot jacking, running through your pockets with uh ski mask on straight laughing."

Witnesses said Nelson, a known drug dealer, was lured to the recording studio by Holmes and others on the pretense of a methamphetamine sale.

Two men wearing ski masks and black clothes, later identified as Holmes and another man named Max Reed, accosted Nelson and his friend Kenny Clark, in the parking lot, according to court documents. During the struggle, Nelson's shirt and chain necklace were torn off and his pockets turned inside out.

Nelson's attacker, identified as Holmes, then removed his ski mask, declared that he was going to shoot him, and then he did. Nelson staggered, fell and died. Clark managed to call 911 and flee.

In upholding the conviction, Chief Justice Kris Pickering and Justice James Hardesty noted that the trial judge instructed the jury it could not use the lyrics to prove Holmes "is a person of bad character or that he has a disposition to commit a crime."

They also recognized that defendant-authored rap lyrics may use exaggerations and involve "abstract representations of events or ubiquitous story lines."

"But these features do not exempt such writings from jury consideration where, as here, the lyrics describe details that mirror the crime charged," the justices wrote.

Jurors were told they could consider Holmes' statements, including the lyrics, as "confessions, admissions or neither."

In a dissenting opinion, Justice Nancy Saitta said the lyrics did not sufficiently suggest description of the crime.

"The lyrics did not reflect knowledge of the specific event any more than they describe routine criminal behavior," Saitta wrote, adding such topics are "frequent fodder for rap lyrics."

Saitta said presenting the lyrics to jurors amounted to unfair prejudice requiring reversal of the conviction and a new trial.

It was Kim Catullo, Quinns notoriously press-shy wife, who was making a rare appearance on the campaign trail only three weeks before next months Democratic mayoral primary.

Ultimately coaxed to the microphone, Catullo was a shy sidekick to Quinn, whose boisterous laugh and blunt talk have become a defining part of her political persona. But when pressed, Catullo offered a highly personal answer for how she was looking to sway New Yorkers to support her wife.

Shes the smartest person that I know, shes the most qualified and she has a heart of gold, and people need to know that. And if they know her the way that I know her, as Ive told her every morning, shell win by a landslide, Catullo said, giving Quinn an affectionate squeeze.

Catullo, a lawyer who was Quinns partner for 11 years before marrying her in a lavish Manhattan ceremony last year, hasnt been a total stranger to the campaign trail. She joined Quinn earlier this spring when the City Council speaker officially declared her bid to succeed Mayor Michael Bloomberg, and shes occasionally popped up at some political events, including in the audience at last weeks Democratic mayoral debate.

Yet Catullo has made clear she doesnt relish the spotlight, and until now, she had limited her public role in her wifes mayoral campaign. She had repeatedly declined interviews and refused a speaking role at her wifes events. But this week she changed course, sitting for a round of media interviews and holding her own solo event Monday night to drum up support for her wife's mayoral bid.

With polls showing Quinn in a tight race with Public Advocate Bill de Blasio ahead of the Sept. 10 primary, Catullo has stepped forward to publicly support her wife at a time when family has suddenly become a major part of the campaign.

Yet in a city that has long been more multicultural and progressive than most other places in the country, the mayoral candidates are redefining the traditional notion of family in their quest to win control of City Hall.

If elected, Quinn would not only be the first female mayor of New York City but also its first openly gay mayor which, in turn, would make Catullo the first lesbian first lady.

At the same time, de Blasio has put his multiracial family at the center of his mayoral bid. De Blasio, who is Italian-American, campaigns almost daily with his wife, Chirlane McCray, who is black and has been open about the factbefore she met her husband. His kids Chiara, 18, and Dante, 15 also have been prominent advocates for their dad, starring in television ads and speaking at campaign events.

Earlier this week, the campaignwhere Chiara de Blasio argued that her dad wasnt just some boring white guy.

Meanwhile, Dante, whose bushy Afroamong local journalists, has appeared in two campaign ads for his dad. Both have focused on the citys controversial stop and frisk measure that allowed police officers to randomly search people but was thrown out after a federal judge found it unfairly targeted minorities.

In the firstDante spoke directly into the camera and argued that his father would be the only one who will end an era of stop-and-frisk that unfairly targets people of color.

Hes the only Democrat with the guts to really break from the Bloomberg years, Dante says in the spot, adding, his father would be a mayor for every New Yorker, no matter where they live or what they look like.

In the second ad, de Blasioabout the fact that some day he will be stopped because of the color of his skin. Its an appeal clearly aimed at contrasting him with other rivals in the race and appealing to minority and multiethnic voters who still havent fully settled on a candidate ahead of next months primary.

Quinn and de Blasio arent alone in campaigning with their spouses. Former Comptroller Bill Thompsons wife, Elsie McCabe, has taken a highly visible role in her husbands campaign so much so that the campaign has started sending out a separate schedule for her in recent days.

And prior to his latest sexting scandal, former Rep. Anthony Weiner had made appearances with his wife, Huma Abedin though shes been absent since appearing with him at a press conference where he admitted that he had continued to send sexual messages to women he met online through last year.

But its the groundbreaking nature of the different kind of family that Quinn or de Blasio would bring to Gracie Mansion that has gotten the most attention especially in contrast to Bloomberg, a famous bachelor, who did not emphasize family during his tenure at City Hall.

What it shows is the really tremendous strides socially (and) politically weve taken that you can have two front-runners in the Democratic primary having nontraditional families, says Doug Muzzio, a political scientist at Baruch College.

De Blasio, he said, is almost a one-man balanced ticket citing the fact that he is Italian-American; represents Brooklyn, an influential borough in the campaign; is in a biracial marriage; and is the father of the next generation of New Yorkers. He exhibits, Muzzio said, the acceptance of difference.

Quinn, meanwhile, is another breakthrough who personifies the evolution of thinking when it comes to how the public regards gay candidates and same-sex marriage, Muzzio said.

The unknown is how it will all play with voters.

While Catullo has insisted she always planned to play some public role in her wifes campaign, it comes as Quinn is struggling to make inroads with two voting blocs that were once considered hers to lose: women and gay and lesbian voters. While there has been no public polling among gay voters, Quinn has lost her advantage among women to de Blasio, who leads 31 percent to Quinns 26 percent,

Catullos presence not only could help remind those voting blocs of the historic nature of Quinns candidacy, but could also serve to soften her image as a hard-charging, take-no-prisoners politician which has alienated some voters.

Meanwhile, de Blasio is looking to boost his support among black voters who strongly back Thompson, the only black candidate in the race, 39 percent to de Blasios 22 percent,

But just as there are many New Yorkers who want to see diversity in their candidates, there also are voters in some parts of the city, especially the outer boroughs, who arent as progressive in their social and political views.

In an interview , Catullo said she had not wanted Quinn to run for mayor, in part because she feared for her wifes safety. Quinn, she said, had received death threats because she is gay.

Asked about her comments, Quinn and Catullo declined to elaborate, saying it was a police matter.

But Catullo said it has been hard to stand by and watch her wife get attacked throughout the campaign though she acknowledged its probably a universal feeling among family members of the candidates.

"It's tough, I suppose it's tough for all spouses in this race," Catullo said. "It's been a really tough campaign when you love someone, and I really do love my wife. It's not an easy thing to watch but it comes with the territory."

SYDNEY (Reuters) - Asian markets look set for a rough ride on Thursday after minutes from the Federal Reserve July policy meeting were taken as affirming the outlook for a near-term tapering in stimulus, sending Treasury yields to two-year highs.

Wall Street stocks sold off, the U.S. dollar surged and borrowing costs rose globally. All of which is bad news for emerging markets that have come to rely on cheap dollars to underpin domestic demand and fund current account shortfalls.

South America provided a taste of what was likely to come for Asia, with the Brazilian real tumbling 2.5 percent and the Mexican peso 2.2 percent. The turmoil was enough to make Brazil's central bank chief cancel a trip to the United States.

Dealers said the violence of the market reaction was partly because some investors had hoped the Fed would lean against the recent climb in Treasury yields. Instead the minutes showed most Fed members felt the outlook for tapering had not changed.

"That does not smack of a Fed going out of its way to fight the back-up in bond yields at the time, which is partly why Treasuries have sold off," said Alan Ruskin, global head of foreign exchange strategy at Deutsche Bank in New York.

"Most other asset markets are taking their lead from Treasuries, and the minutes provide no obvious relief for the stresses in the emerging market world."

Markets from India to Indonesia have already been under intense pressure from expectations Western investors will repatriate funds now that yields at home are rising.

A confused policy response by some governments has only added to the sense of foreboding and sent funds fleeing the region.

Traders expected currencies and stocks in India, Indonesia and Thailand would be under particular pressure on Thursday, likely requiring more official action to support assets.

Investors also face an added hurdle in HSBC China Flash PMI for August due later on Thursday. A weak reading would give markets another excuse to push the currencies and shares lower.

Doing the most damage was a jump in 10-year U.S. Treasury yields to almost 2.9 percent, a level last seen in July 2011. This is a major chart level and a break could see the market quickly test 3 percent, which itself is a huge psychological marker.

Treasury yields tend to set the benchmark for borrowing costs across the globe, so the rise will make it more difficult for indebted countries and companies to pay their bills.

That was not taken well by stocks, with the Dow Jones industrial average down 0.7 percent and the Standard & Poor's 500 Index off 0.58 percent.

MSCI's all-country stock index shed 0.85 percent, while the pan-European FTSEurofirst 300 index closed down 0.6 percent.

The prospect of higher returns gave the U.S. dollar a lift across the board. The euro was back at $1.3350, from a high of $1.3452 on Wednesday.

The dollar index, which measures the greenback versus a basket of six currencies, rose to 81.377, from a low of 80.896. The dollar's gains on the yen were more restrained at 97.77, in part because dealers expected the Japanese currency would get a lift from safe-haven flows.

Commodity prices were generally lower. Copper futures lost 1 percent to $7,239.85, while gold backtracked to $1,364.24 an ounce.

Brent crude oil fell below $110 a barrel on reports some Libyan oil exports might soon resume and on news the Seaway crude oil pipeline had shut, halting shipments from the U.S. Midwest to the Gulf Coast.

Brent futures for October were off 42 cents at $109.73 a barrel. U.S. October oil fell $1.26 to settle at $103.85 a barrel.

(Editing by Dean Yates)

MIAMI (Reuters) - New York Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez paid legal fees for the owner of a Miami anti-aging clinic at the center of a doping scandal that ensnared 13 professional baseball players, a spokesperson for the clinic owner said on Monday.

Rodriguez, who is fighting a lengthy suspension for his alleged doping, paid the lawyer for clinic owner Anthony Bosch a $25,000 retainer in February, and later made a second wire transfer for nearly $50,000 that the attorney declined, the spokesperson said.

Major League Baseball is suing Bosch and several other people associated with the Biogenesis clinic in a Miami area suburb for alleged interference with its anti-doping agreement with players.

The Miami attorney, Susy Ribero-Ayala, accepted the $25,000 "on behalf of Anthony Bosch as payment for his legal representation," according to Joyce Fitzpatrick, who serves as spokesperson for Bosch and Ribero-Ayala. The second payment in April, which Fitzpatrick described as "unsolicited and unwarranted," was returned. She declined further comment on the payment.

Fitzpatrick said Bosch and Rodriguez no longer have any legal relationship.

Rodriguez, who grew up in Miami, was suspended by MLB for 211 games through the end of the 2014 season. Twelve other players received 50-game suspensions.

One of the highest-paid professional athletes in the United States, Rodriguez has denied any wrongdoing, and has appealed his suspension to an arbitrator.

Lawyers for Rodriguez did not respond to a request for comment but told ESPN earlier that the second transfer had been sent in error. They did not contest the first payment.

Fitzpatrick declined to comment on media speculation about the possible appearance that Rodriguez may have been trying to persuade Bosch not to cooperate with Major League Baseball's investigation of his ties to Biogenesis.

"Mr. Bosch has consistently expressed his desire to cooperate with any and all investigative authorities," she said.

Bosch's clinic is also under federal investigation by the U.S. Attorney's Office in Miami for the unlicensed sale of controlled substances to professional baseball players, as well as high school students, according to lawyers familiar with the investigation.

Bosch has not spoken to the media in months, but initially denied any wrongdoing.

A Grand Jury began hearing testimony and taking evidence last Friday, the Miami Herald reported.

The U.S. Attorney's Office in Miami launched the probe last month after Porter Fischer, a whistleblower at the defunct Biogenesis clinic said professional baseball players were not its only customers, according to legal correspondence with Fischer that was viewed by Reuters.

The probe involved an "investigation into federal illegal substance violations," according to a copy of the correspondence that was provided to Reuters in late July.

The U.S. Attorney's Office declined to comment on the existence of an investigation.

Fischer obtained hundreds of pages of client records from Biogenesis that he alleged show payments from some of the players for performance-enhancing drugs and that he later turned over to a Miami weekly newspaper, which published them.

The Florida Department of Health fined Bosch $5,000 in April for violating state law for diagnosing and treating patients without a proper doctor's license.

(Editing by Tom Brown and Ken Wills)

The new was discovered last week by Japanese amateur astronomer Koichi Itagaki. He spotted the nova (Latin for "new star") on Aug. 14 while observing the constellation Delphinus (The Dolphin) through a telescope.

The online Virtual Telescope Project in Italy will webcast live views of Nova Delphinus today at 4 p.m. EDT (2000 GMT). You can watch the , courtesy of the Virtual Telescope. []

"This amazing nova is getting brighter!" astrophysicist Gianluca Masi, who runs the Virtual Telescope Project in Ceccano, Italy, told SPACE.com in an email on Friday (Aug. 16). You can watch the nova webcast live directly from the Virtual Telescope Project here:

A bright 'nova'

Astronomers measure the , in which brighter objects are given lower numbers. Negative numbers denote exceptionally bright objects, such as the moon.

When Nova Delphinus 2013 was first discovered, its magnitude was estimated to be about +6.8. That placed the nova's brightness at just beyond what can be seen with the naked eye, which is designated as a magnitude of +6.5. The nova was still visible in binoculars and telescopes, however.

By Friday, however, the situation had changed. The nova had brightened to a magnitude +4.5, placing it within naked-eye observing range. Masi suspects Nova Delphinus' current brightness is about the maximum level it is going to reach, but that hasn't kept stargazers from marveling at the stellar spectacle.

The nova is "hard to see naked eye unless you are in a very dark sky and know exactly where to look," veteran astrophotographer and skywatcher John Chumack wrote in an email. "But this is a very bright nova, most dont get above 8th magnitude."

Nova star explosions explained

A nova is a star explosion that scientist think occurs when a white dwarf star in a binary system strips material from its partner star, which over time triggers a massive outburst. Unlike supernovas, which are catastrophic explosions that signal the death of a star, novas do not destroy their stars. Novas are not as bright as supernovas, which can be so brilliant they can temporarily shine with the brightness of 100 billion .

Novas bright enough to be seen with the naked eye typically occur about once or twice a decade, according to Joe Rao, SPACE.com's skywatching columnist. The brightest nova within the last 50 years occurred in August 1975 when a star explosion was spotted in the constellation Cygnus (The Swan) and reached a maximum brightness of about +1.8 (the brightness equivalent of Polaris, the North Star).

Here are some tips on how to see Nova Dephinus 2013:

The nova is located inside the small constellation Delphinus, the Dolphin, which can be found near the famed Summer Triangle made by the bright stars Vega, Altair and Deneb. Delphinus is a small diamond-shaped star pattern made up of four moderately dim stars.

In late evening, Delphinus is currently visible high in the southeast sky. By midnight, local time, the constellation is about two-thirds of the way up from the southern horizon.

Editor's Note:If you snap an amazing picture of the new nova star explosion, or any other night sky view that you'd like to share for a possible story or image gallery, send photos, comments and your name and location to managing editor Tariq Malik at.

Email Tariq Malik at tmalik@space.com or follow him andFollow us , and . Original article on .

(Logo:)

Texas L.E.A.D. is the premier diversity development conference attracting hundreds of attendees. It is an insightful day-long conference designed to help managers, executives, students, and entrepreneurs develop and advance their careers. This event will allow you to connect and increase visibility with business leaders through networking and interactive workshops, learn key success factors that help professionals launch careers, build organizations and create thriving businesses while building inspiring personal brands.

In honor of NSHMBA's 25th Anniversary, this year's theme will be "Advancement through Leadership." The focus will be on the role that Civic Engagement, Corporate Enterprise, Entrepreneurship and Education play in your leadership journey.

Speakers: Geronimo M. Rodriguez, Jr., Doug Arthur, Carla Pineyro, Rita Howard, Nina Vaca, Eli Mercer, Marla Martinez, Laura Donnelly Gonzalez, Nick Spiller, and Horacio Villarreal

Sponsors:

Lead: Dell

Platinum: Seton Family of Hospitals, State Farm

Gold Sponsor: Farm Credit Bank of Texas, GTECH

Special Partners: Rivercity Youth Foundation and Latinitas

About the National Society of Hispanic MBAs - The National Society of Hispanic MBAs (NSHMBA) was formed in 1988 as a non-profit organization. Widely known as the "Premier Hispanic Organization," NSHMBA serves 39 chapters and more than 23,000 members in the U.S. and Puerto Rico. NSHMBA is dedicated to building and advancing Hispanic leadership, advocating the pursuit of higher education and providing its members with world-class professional development and career management programs. Visitfor more information.

SOURCE National Society of Hispanic MBAs - National Office

I spent most of my life as a single mom, working long hours and not seeing my kids. My work has finally paid off, and I'm at a point where, while not rich, I can support my daughter and grandbabies.

The problem is the baby daddy. He has a history of drug abuse, theft and jail time. He works only part-time jobs, which he loses monthly. He gives my daughter nothing and treats her as if she owes him.

I don't want to support him, but he has moved in and won't leave my house. I have told him to go, that he's welcome to visit the kids, but he ignores me. It's like talking to a wall. He won't even acknowledge that I told him to leave. He acts like he's king of the castle when it's my home! I can't take it anymore. I pay all the bills.

I told my daughter, and she ignores me as well. My oldest son has offered to talk to them for me. I don't want to lose my grandbabies. They are my purpose in life. Please help. -- FURIOUS IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR FURIOUS: Part of your problem may be the degree to which you enable your daughter. You won't be around forever. She needs to learn to be independent so she can support herself and those children. Clearly, Baby Daddy isn't man enough to be of any assistance.

If he has lived with you for a while, you may need a lawyer to get him out. According to Los Angeles attorney Lee Dresie: "You can get rid of the freeloader by giving him a 30-day 'notice to leave' in writing. It should say, 'You have 30 days to leave my home. If you don't, I will bring an action to evict you.' If he still refuses to go, consult an attorney who specializes in eviction law."

This is Abby again: Be sure you have a witness present when the notice is given so Baby Daddy can't deny receiving it. Your son could be that witness, and yes, he should be asked to lead the discussion on how to resolve this situation.

It is also troubling that the daughter for whom you provide food and shelter is ignoring you. You're treated this way because you don't assert yourself. Please do it before Baby Daddy impregnates her again and you have four people to support.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 27 and have an issue that has bothered me for most of my life. I have overly hot/sweaty hands and feet. When I was dating women, they wouldn't want to hold my hand, which bothered me a lot. Also, my friends sometimes make fun of me for it.

I am entering a profession that will require lots of handshaking with potential clients. This will be an issue for me because I don't want to make a bad impression. Do you have any suggestions? -- SWEATY IN NORTH DAKOTA

DEAR SWEATY: Yes! There is help for your problem, and the way to get it is to talk with a dermatologist. There is a product that can curb the excessive sweating (hyperhidrosis), but a doctor must prescribe it for you. Botox injections could also help, but they should be administered by a physician. There is also a machine used to treat this condition. The dermatologist can help you decide which solution would be the best for you.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby ator P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $14 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)