https://ameblo.jp/fuckeduploser2/ just for the practice n wanna brag out. ja i got a bad new friend there too.

that's him


my ex.



when i met him for the first time, my heart dropped
i don't really remember why but he looked attractive.

it didn't take long time to get close to him

like the other guys, i slept wiz him
first time, second time, third time.....

n one day i asked him " where we r standin? u know i like u"
but his answer was "no"
"i'm sorry but , honestly i don't like u in that way. so...plz...forget me"


i shouldn't hav told him
i should hav gives it up


i said "......it's ok if i can b wiz u, i don't mind zat i'm nothing for ya"


i got cursed since this day
]]> https://ameblo.jp/fuckeduploser2/entry-11134627034.html Fri, 13 Jan 2012 15:14:04 +0900 i found a new job by myself n started working again

even i hated a desk job, i had bn believing zat was the only thing i could do.

workin' in a real world hadn't bn ez for me

i had concerned a lot.
i'd wanted to mingle to other teenagers.
had bn unwanted to get scoled @ of making mistakes....cuz i hav working' for u even i don't
fuckin' wanna do(←this is what i had bn thinking' @ the time)

n unfortunately, i broke up wiz bf @ the time
he was goin' to a technical college.

member of a society n a student
that's never b able to work.....

he wasn't my first love or smt
but he was the first proper bf for me( i think)

it was fun to b wiz him

i didn't wanted to give our relation up bcuz of it.
but in the end, he dumped me



the job i unwanted to do
the relationship zat i didn't wanna let go

i started hating myself. hate hate hate hate....
every morning i had cried n wished to die.
untakeable pain was always in my heart.

i had called to my best friend, Miho every day
she always tried her best to cheer me up n b my side.

i can't forget zat she cried for me when i told her zat i wanna die.
zat has made me feel sat i gotta stay alive .
cuz even just her, i hav smo who cries for me

but still that couldn't cured all my pains.
wanted to break myself
who doin' what i don't wanna do
who got hated by bf n let him go
who can't satisfied even Miho's doin' her best to cheer me up


then got broken smt inside of me


i was working as a part time, too
in a Mcdo#ald's
i had bn workin' there whole 3years when i had bn in a school
after i quitted the first job, i had bn back to there.

luckily, there i got a good friend.
i started hangin' out wiz Misa...lot of times
she'd always accepted my suggestions.


i had bn actin' like a gud. but i had always hated it n wanted to break that image of me.
i had bn wanted to b a bad girl, rock girl n emo.


zat's why i'v got a first tattoo.
i asked Misa to get one together
n she said "let's do"
]]> https://ameblo.jp/fuckeduploser2/entry-11134621758.html Fri, 13 Jan 2012 14:35:48 +0900
all started after i graduated from high school
bcuz of i went to a commercial high school, my english exam's result was always top or 2.
every english teachers had given me a compliment n suggested me to go to a college.

off course i wanted to go to a college to challenge my ability.
n also didn't wanna start working
like other teenagers, i wanted enjoy youth.

but the real world was not that easy on me

my mother hadn't allowed me to go to a college bcuz what i had bn telling her
didn't make sense.
(after years, she has admitted zat she had thought za reason was not gud enough n
also couldn't afford it.)

anyhoo i started workin'
so i got a job n started working'

but the job was terrible
lies, lies, lies, lies....everything what they had told me in an job interview

i clearly can say zat K#DAN KAIK#N sucks.
they r craz for me.

i still wanna tell them zat there's much more job which is fuckin' better than u guys r doin'


i quit


my parents had supported me to quit.
i believe it healed my injury even a bit ＠the time

]]> https://ameblo.jp/fuckeduploser2/entry-11134600388.html Fri, 13 Jan 2012 14:01:37 +0900
a girl who has short dark hair n not thick makeup n was workin' for a company.

who doubt me if i was gonna b broken?


]]> https://ameblo.jp/fuckeduploser2/entry-11134581793.html Fri, 13 Jan 2012 13:58:05 +0900
i was desperate

to my job, to my life

i was totally fucked up @ the time

that time, i was only 18 ]]> https://ameblo.jp/fuckeduploser2/entry-11134579645.html Fri, 13 Jan 2012 13:52:19 +0900
n i suppose to feel happy

but, i'm not now

i can't tell, i can't tell why
]]> https://ameblo.jp/fuckeduploser2/entry-11134576527.html Fri, 13 Jan 2012 13:49:54 +0900