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I've been playing Sims Freeplay and I've restarted the game 3 times already because something always goes wrong or just bothers me too much to keep on going. It's mostly because of the characters I create. Meh.

School's starting on Monday. I'm not the least bit excited. I'm taking 5 classes instead of 4 and I don't know how I'm gonna handle it... hopefully I still get good grades.

Before depression begins again, I'll just focus on my plans for the weekend
- Gonna watch a scary movie called "The Devil Inside" with a friend, my brother and his friends. I know I'm gonna have nightmares so I asked my friend in advance to sleepover

Then, it's party time for my 21st!!!

We're gonna hit up a laser tag place and then eat out somewhere. Hopefully it'll be fun and people won't get bored.
Then... I gotta get ready for school. *sigh* ]]> https://ameblo.jp/jumb0shark/entry-11128383127.html Fri, 06 Jan 2012 17:23:22 +0900
My acne is still flaring up and I'm getting discouraged with each day. The scars just pop out so much and they're flooding my entire face.

I don't even want to go out anymore since I know everyone's just gonna look at my face with disgust.

Why oh why do I have to have flare ups now?!?! Not to mention I've been having mild acne since I was 10 so 10+ years of self-esteem issues just got worse...

I want a break from this.

On a brighter note, I ordered a case for my iPad and it'll come a day or so later so I have to be super careful when I play with my new toy!


]]> https://ameblo.jp/jumb0shark/entry-11122131019.html Sat, 31 Dec 2011 09:00:58 +0900

One less day for me to enjoy my new baby.

On top of that my parents asked why I bought it now instead of waiting for the iPad 3 to come out and that if it was defective then I can't do anything about it. I explained that 1) I need it NOW since my books are in pdf format and my laptop won't last me as long the iPad will, 2) It comes with a 1 year warranty so if it WERE defective then I can return it or ask them to replace it and 3) I can sell this iPad for a good amount since the demand is strong so I only need a few more to buy the 3rd one.

Nothing exciting today, just did chores and my med cards homework. I still have more than half to go and I'm already dreading it. At least I got about 10 done today so yay me! Only 50 or so to go...
]]> https://ameblo.jp/jumb0shark/entry-11120475923.html Thu, 29 Dec 2011 15:27:38 +0900



Now it's time to play the waiting game A WEEK.

Today's a GREAT DAY! Thank you LORD for letting me change back to my original lab and for letting me have enough money to buy what I wanted. I couldn't have asked for more.

I feel like I can finally enjoy my break, even though it's halfway over and I still have 3/4 of my med cards to do. It's such a boring and tiring process that I get discouraged. Oh well, I gotta get my crap together if I want to achieve higher grades next quarter. ]]> https://ameblo.jp/jumb0shark/entry-11119224563.html Wed, 28 Dec 2011 04:07:11 +0900 Watched a movie called New Year's Eve, which was pretty ok but not something I would consider worthy of seeing in theaters.

Rewind to the beginning, mandatory clean up of the house since mom's home. Then counted more coins from dad's ancient collection of currencies and managed to accumulate $80 for my iPad!
Mom gave me $20 to offset the rest. Now I have $350 in total and all that's left is to deposit so I can purchase my new baby.

On another note, I think all the liquor I've consumed these past few months has made me lose my critical thinking abilities. I'm starting to feel dumber and dumber by the day since I can't even remember the simplest notes and names of people, or what I've told someone recently. I even forgot to close and lock the door right when my mom told me to! And I was watching her walk out so I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. All I know is I was playing a movie scenario in my head about a killer pretending to be someone's friend and ends up killing their passenger.

This is definitely going to affect my grades since I won't be able to stop thinking about how incompetent I've become. And I need my grades if I want to continue on to med school. *sigh*

This break doesn't feel like break at ALL. For some reason nothing excites me or makes me feel enthusiastic recently. Maybe I'm suffering from some kind of depression... ]]> https://ameblo.jp/jumb0shark/entry-11118657853.html Tue, 27 Dec 2011 15:50:25 +0900

I've been thinking about how I'm going to lug my laptop around when school starts since I most of my books are in pdf format. Since the battery only lasts a good hour and a half at most even with internet off, screen set to darkest lighting, and other nonsense turned off, I can't read my stuff without being plugged in to almost all the time.
As much as I love my laptop, I can't afford to bring it to school everyday because 1) I'm tiny and it's heavy, 2) I don't want to risk getting mugged because I can't put it in my backpack, and 3) It will overheat after a while of using.

So that's how I convinced myself to look for, wait for it!


I know it's expensive...
I have about half the funds to purchase this baby REFURBISHED but at least it'll be the current generation. My little brother and sister even pitched in so I'm closer to my goal. The MAIN problem is... how do I get the remaining half

Asked my parents to pitch in but they already gave me my Christmas present, which is about 1/4. As for my birthday, they don't really get me anything. If I choose to have a party, then they'll end spending even more so I don't want that. Plus I don't like the attention.

If I become reealllllyyyyy, and I mean reallllllyyyyy desperate... then I'll be forced to use my hidden stash. I just need to get it before school starts so I can set up my books on the iPad and I won't have to deal with the aforementioned problems. It's a win-win situation! Except for my wallet.

I don't care if the new iPad 3 comes out in a few months I don't think I can wait that long anyway. Plus, the resale value for apple products are substantial for me to get the newer version if I become tempted. ]]> https://ameblo.jp/jumb0shark/entry-11117496459.html Mon, 26 Dec 2011 08:37:40 +0900
While the holidays this year aren't as jolly as the previous ones, it's important to keep in mind that Christmas cannot be without "Christ."

I've come to terms about certain changes that have occurred this year... and they are mainly internal.
I, for one, am admitting that I have transformed into a full fledged, selfish, and apathetic bitch. I was unaware of these changes until I noticed that I became more grumpy and easily irritated than usual. At first I blamed it on the stress from school, breaking out all over my face, and gaining unsurmountable amounts of weight. But as vacation kicked off I found myself in the same dissatisfied and menacing attitude that I carried throughout the quarter.
There's something in me that was triggered I guess, and now it's impossible for me think in a nicer and more tolerable manner when it comes to others and even myself. My self-esteem has suffered a great deal from all these negative changes which only added on to my stomach problems. *sigh* Will I ever get a break


On a merrier note, it's almost time to open presents here in the US! My brother and sister can't leave the Christmas tree's side! Haha
I wish for everyone's health and safety this year and hope that we will have many more Christmases to celebrate together as a family

Thank you Lord for giving us your son Jesus Christ on this wonderful day. Through him our sins were forgiven and we were allowed to start fresh. I hope to never forget the true meaning of Christmas.
]]> https://ameblo.jp/jumb0shark/entry-11116874878.html Sun, 25 Dec 2011 15:50:21 +0900

I shouldn't have switched my clinical section when the opportunity came up. I need to go back to my original section since it would be convenient for me to just have clinicals on those days and just go home afterwards since it's wayyyyy too far (for me at least). Plus I'd have to be out for more than 14 hours straight and I don't think I can handle that

Anyways...
I got so bored I actually started on my homework. Unbelievable since I hardly did them in advance last quarter nor did I even WANT to. But I'm a changed student now. I think.
Just started on my med cards and man is it gonna take a while! I barely finished my first one and there's so much information to absorb. And my patients will have 15 or more medications at one time! I'm working at such a slow pace too

Time to rest. ]]> https://ameblo.jp/jumb0shark/entry-11114942027.html Fri, 23 Dec 2011 17:46:44 +0900

On another news, moolah has been made thanks to selling my book. Damn you, Amazon commission! Taking such a huge chunk out of my profit. Tsk tsk, but I'd rather deal with that than losing my book to a scammer on eBay.

Still not feeling good about the scars on my face so I don't feel like seeing people in the meantime. I know I'll regret not going out as much when I go back to school but I just wanna recuperate and let my self-esteem recover.

Concluding this post with my purchases:





Got all these for $8 Now that's what you call a deal! ]]> https://ameblo.jp/jumb0shark/entry-11111990373.html Tue, 20 Dec 2011 11:10:47 +0900

Time flies so fast when I'm relaxing but when it's school time it feels like days just drag.

Anyways, woke up early for church and then headed to the store to buy the Angry Birds plushies for my brother and sister. Dad was lucky enough to get the last 2, and they were the ones that we wanted (king pig and regular pig)!

I got colored pens for my "notes" next quarter since I'm determined to get my motivation back and get on full study mode once winter quarter starts. They're so pretty! But I had a little panic attack since I couldn't find them in the bags when I got home at first, but they ended up being in my brother's bag.

Next up, presents for my Secret Santa and a friend!
Hopefully they'll like it! I couldn't decide on what to get but I hope this is at least *decent*


]]> https://ameblo.jp/jumb0shark/entry-11110972430.html Mon, 19 Dec 2011 04:29:56 +0900