https://ameblo.jp/limonadagurl/ きっとそこには 泣いた分を笑顔が待ってる ja If I can do so much then I dont need to worry about how ppl would view my work and I can do it by myself.
Seriously need to do more and work harder!!!
You can do it, Vivian!!!

See more designs and learn from the pros! ]]> https://ameblo.jp/limonadagurl/entry-11868720880.html Mon, 02 Jun 2014 17:52:18 +0900 不知道為什麼
尤其是看到在電視的他
好陌生
自己都覺得很不可思議

完全沒有以前那種迫不及待想要等他的節目
迫不及待想要等他的歌
看到他笑容自己也會不自主的笑起來
他的影片會不斷的想要看

現在看到他就只是很普通的感覺
還蠻可愛的這樣

好怪

我真的曾經為了他花超多超多的錢？
拼死拼活也要請到假買到票？
為了他有可能好像是望過來的而興奮不已？
為了他的歌聲流淚？
為了他的一舉一動而被牽動？

完全無法想起那樣的悸動

到底是為什麼呢？
自認為自己還蠻念舊的
喜歡上的東西不會輕易放手的人
但對已無感的人事物要如何不放手呢？

或許未來我也會這樣忽然對另一個他無感
但現在怎樣都放不了手
放不了。。。
還是不想放？
]]> https://ameblo.jp/limonadagurl/entry-11712267913.html Tue, 26 Nov 2013 03:15:22 +0900 I guess time does pass fast and time does heal.
It's not no more pain but maybe I can go with no more cry.
Still it's difficult to hear any information about the four.
I can't believe that I actually decided to go to the concert. Maybe somehow I want to believe that maybe he would show up or they would talk about him. Well, not going to happen, right?
I want him to shine cuz I believe in him so much and he is so talented. But the same time, at the back of my head, I always have this thought "does he really fit for this world?" I don't know.
The only thing I could do is to bless and to pray for him at different shrines. What we can do is so little and so powerless. Also, the more I think about it, the more I feel maybe he just wants to be a normal person. Then everything I have been doing is just useless and weird actually. If he is a public figure, searching for his information is what fans usually do. But if he is not anymore, I'm just a stalker. No matter how much I want to see him on stage, I can't change any fact.


Other things recently....
I guess it would be job hunting. VERY SICK OF IT. I know I haven't been doing it for that long, either but it's frustrated when people who were putting less efforts got offers before me. And I AM TRYING VERY HARD.

Final project, design festa, part-time....dont feel like doing anything.

]]> https://ameblo.jp/limonadagurl/entry-11661786662.html Fri, 01 Nov 2013 00:38:14 +0900 Or you can say I'm afraid of saying good-bye.
Maybe that's why I have like 1000+ friends on my facebook cuz I try to keep every encounter to last but to realize, whether we like it or not, we do have to say good-bye at the end.

I remembered when I was young, we went back to Pingtong every Chinese New Year. I was not that close with my cousins to be honest. I mean we only saw each other once a year. However, those couple of days usually the best days of the year and I loved it so much. So whenever at the end of the break we had to drive back, I was always crying in secret in the car. I don't want anyone to see my face but I was always tearing. Cuz I knew it would have to wait for another year for us to come back.

I don't like to say good-byes.
I hate saying good-byes.
I hate train stations, airport, or anywhere that eventually turns into farewells. How do you know it won't be the last time you see each other.

I will never forget the day I say good-bye to him. His ride came so early and we hugged for the last time. If I knew it would be the last time, I would tell him how much I care about him and how much I love him in person. But I guess the only thing that was okay is that he did knew all that.

I am thankful that Ward called me in person cuz he knew how I felt. However, sometimes I really wish that Ward would never told me and then I can still believe even we won't be able to see each other, there is still a chance I can see him. It was a night with endless tears and searching internet for news cuz I don't want to believe it's true. I mean how could it be? We were so young and we've only knew each other for so short. He was such a big impact to all of us.

10 years later, I still hate saying good-bye.
I still can't let go things that maybe I should let go long time ago.
Maybe it's just something I will never learn.

I don't want to say good-bye to you.
Even my heart has been broken. ]]> https://ameblo.jp/limonadagurl/entry-11647411698.html Tue, 22 Oct 2013 16:16:44 +0900
It was like a whatever company I went in today and there were still soooooo many students!!! I started to think every single job is super competitive in Tokyo. There are just wayyyyy too many people!!!! Everywhere!!!
That and plus there are so many people visit me this month and next month. Crazy!!!!
How could they possible fit in more people in 2020????

And interview sucks. Actually we didn't even get interviews cuz they said there were too many people and we only did testing.

But on the way to the company, the subway stop like twice!!! WTF? The first time I didn't know why and the 2nd time they said there's a emergency check somewhere. WTF?! So I was so late to the company that I didn't join the first part. They didn't ask me to fill in the part I missed so I guess they didn't really care. Probably is dead already the moment I was late for this. I mean of course! Who would want to hire someone who is late for interview? Orz

And then since I'm in yokohama already, I decided to have a lunch there. This was the worst part, after I had the meal, I realized I forgot to bring my wallet..........OH MY MOTHER LORD
This is probably the dumbest thing I've ever done. I don't think I've ever forgot to eat and wouldn't able to pay for it EVER!!!! I mean I forgot to have cash and stuff sometimes but NO MONEY? NEVER!!!!!!! Orz
Besides the humiliation, the worst part is paying it!!!
Finally was able to get them believed that I will come back and pay for it w/o taking any valuable thing or identification (since I've none). So I have to come back tomorrow to pay for it in YOKOHAMA!!!!!! So that meal just costs me more than 3000yen. So stupid...
I guess I should be thankful that I was smart enough to charge my suica yesterday so I was able to go and come back w/o having my wallet.
Errrrr

God please make my presentation goes smooth tomorrow. ]]> https://ameblo.jp/limonadagurl/entry-11621642249.html Wed, 25 Sep 2013 21:49:53 +0900 I think I'm goin to start to write more, to record more. Otherwise nothing remains.
I just finished watching Laguna Beach again for like the 5th time? LOL. I don't know what's up with that drama that I just love it so much, even high school is like sooooo long ago.

By watching it, I started to think about my high school and seriously, I don't remember much. It seems like when you are in high school, everything is such a big deal and anything happens is like the end of the world. But 10 years later, nothing really matters. Like I probably was like everyone on the show, prom and graduation were such a big deal. Guess what, I tried soooo hard and I just couldn't remember who my prom date was. LOL. OMG.. seriously what his name was!?!? I only remembered he was not from my school and I had a lousy night with him. Actually I had bad proms. LOL. I went to like 3 my senior year and only one was fun. And it was with my girl friends so no drama. Other two, lousy dates and I don't even think I still have any of the photos. Of course the best prom was with him. It was junior prom though. And I remembered everything. I remembered we gave each other flowers, I remembered he made me laugh the whole time. I remembered he also made everyone laugh for the whole time and asked us to play mafia which he loves that game. I also remembered after prom, Tomo took us to the mountain and we made our promises. It was one of the most beautiful night. And I remembered he slept on my couch. I think he is just a person that I always have a spot in my heart for. I really want to go to Brazil and visit him.

And about graduation, seriously I have like no memory for graduation. I don't know why. No memory. Did I wear a gown? Did I walk up to the stage? Who went to my graduation? How come I have absolutely no memory of high school graduation. That's crazy. So it really made me think that 10 years later, I wouldn't remember anything that is going on now. All my worries and all my troubles. By thinking about that, I guess I can care less about a lot of things and just live happily. ]]> https://ameblo.jp/limonadagurl/entry-11611086889.html Tue, 10 Sep 2013 23:45:12 +0900 書かないと寝られないし思いが止めないし。。

誰だお前。。。
言いたかった。。。
今日聞いたことと最近見たこと
本当に信じられないし
信じたくないし
いいや。。。
本当にお前じゃない。。。
別人。。。
唯一理解できる答え
別人だ。。。。。

なんか悲しくなってきた
めっちゃ悲しい
やっばりいつもダメ男が好きな自分だめかな。。
どんだけ好きだったのが知ってる？？？
もう自分も分からなくなったくらいめっちゃめっちゃ好きだった
好きすぎて普通に人として好きになったこともあるし
好きすぎてつらくなったときもあるし
それでも好きだから
つらすぎて諦めたいけど諦めなかった
だって大好き
全部好き
表面だけじゃなくて裏面も好き

ずっとと言いたくないけど
お前だけずっとと言っちゃった
何かあっても
本当にずっとと思ってたから

あなただったら絶対私達のことを傷かないと思ったのに。。。

でもやっばり変わった。。。
いつから私達気を遣ってくれないの？
いつからもう自分の仕事を辞めたいの？
いつから親友はただ利用するツールになったの？
今まで信じたこと、大好きなところどこに行ったの？
絶対離れないと言ったでしょう！！！！
何かあったの？
何かしてあげたいけどなにもできないの自分が嫌だ
変わったお前も嫌になっちゃった
本当に大好きなのに。。。

今でも信じたいけど恐い
二度と傷かれなくない
なんか疲れた
信じてもいい？

誰か
助けてあげて ]]> https://ameblo.jp/limonadagurl/entry-11573421819.html Tue, 16 Jul 2013 03:46:33 +0900 難過時也是畫圖
無聊時也是畫圖
感覺這世界上任何煩惱只要畫圖都可以解決的
但不知道從什麼時候開始畫圖變成我最大的煩惱
每天幾乎想的同樣的事情就是如果明天就這樣走到教務處去退學
我想要回台灣

不知道從什麼時候開始回家就是開始哭
哭完後繼續作
為什麼會不快樂
明明就是在作最快樂的事
但為什麼會哭泣
]]> https://ameblo.jp/limonadagurl/entry-11549562779.html Tue, 11 Jun 2013 00:20:21 +0900
よくないときよくないと言いたい
笑いたくないとき笑顔をしない
嫌い人に嫌いと表したい
反対ことと思うとき反対ことを言いたい
やりたくないときやらない
]]> https://ameblo.jp/limonadagurl/entry-11539234957.html Mon, 27 May 2013 19:23:52 +0900 いろいろな意味で。。。。

することがいっばいすぎて
ずっとずっと我慢して泣いちゃったらもっと疲れってなってしごとができなくなるけど
もう我慢したくない
そう思ったら涙もう止まれない

弱い自分が嫌だ
弱い自分を見せるのがもっと嫌だ
両親に心配させないために何も言わないから
もう大変だろう
娘を支えて外国まで送って
できれば楽しい生活を送ってるイメージを見せたい
両親に言えないし
学校の友達にも恥ずかしくて
もうこんなに年上なのに
年下の前泣いちゃうのがありえないし

ほかに本当に言える友達がまわりにいない
こう考えたらすごく寂しくなって
携帯に名前がいっばいでも
ラインに友達がいっばいで
本当に聞いてくれる人が何人いるだろう
無いだろう

台湾の友達みんなも忙しいし
ばかな悩みを言うのが子供っぽすぎる
みんな自分のことのため頑張ってるだろう

最後いつも姉が聞いてくれるけど
時差のせいで言えないだろう

寂しくて寂しくて
頑張れる力がなくなって
何のために誰のために頑張るのがもう分からなくなっちゃった。

いくつ頑張っても分からない人が分かってくれないし
ほかの人のためにほかの人にさきに考えても結局自分が傷ずいただけ
だれかうちのことを考えてくれるの？
じゃ自分だけのために考えってもいい？
いい？
自分だけのために頑張ってもいい？
いい？
誰でも頑張ってくれないから
一人しかいない ]]> https://ameblo.jp/limonadagurl/entry-11539203126.html Mon, 27 May 2013 18:33:52 +0900