mitarashi-dangoのブログ

back in AU 

Fri, 06 Aug 2010 14:17:43 +0900

its feels good to be useful during this short week before uni starts..
at least i'm not sitting at home, watching shows and collecting fats.



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to everyone

Wed, 21 Jul 2010 00:41:58 +0900

i am not going to cosplay anymore
for real.

to all those affected, i am truly very sorry

as some people may have predicted based on my previous blog entries,
i have not done well in uni.
despite studying something i want.

to make up for this,
i will give up cosplaying so that i can study 100%.

therefore i will not be bringing back any materials i have bought nor any parts of the costumes i have made.
and i WILL NOT attend any future events.

to all those affected,
i am truly very sorry for being selfish.

it is my own fault for not working hard enough
and giving in to distractions when i supposedly could have treasured the time more wisely
to also made some wrong decisions and agreeing with two persons that have possibly sparked my failure this semester.

you can say i'm a traitor
hate me
for doing this

but i cannot allow my parents to split up such that my siblings have no one to provide for them if i continue cosplaying/sewing/photography

when i failed to study business
i feel it's because i was forced to do it even though there is a sliver of hope that i could at least have scraped through if i was a little stronger
still, i put the blame to my parents
so this time
they say if i were to fail it would be them again.

-- this is NOT true
but there is no way that they will believe me anyway..

the other consequence of me continuing to cosplay is
they will stop sending me money to study
in other words
i will not be able to continue my studies for my future
while i have only just started to build it

to Lisa, Evan, Angela, Skye, Tomi, Jo, Winnie and others
i really really am sorry
with the effect of what that has been going on at home
this is the decision i am sincerely going to take
and i have no regrets.

EDIT:

why a journal entry?
it's faster than PM-ing everyone one by one.

besides, sooner or later
the others will know

i hope this will make it clear as to how and why one of my passions has been extinguished in such a way

LET ME SHOW YOU MY POKEMANS!!!

Sun, 11 Jul 2010 22:39:06 +0900

because i can DD:

i mentioned on facebook that i was playing Pokemon Heartgold ver. on DS

during my 1 week trip

i'm currently just past the 4th gym leader.

planning to not continue playing until i finish my costumes..

more pics from the trip..

dad with his pork rice @ Ajisen Ramen, HK international airport

he dislikes miso soup

the soup was given to my bro

*overkill*

bro and his miso-charsiu ramen

stuff i got..

OMFG!! RILAKKUMA!!

and the one on the left :D

but the contents are more or less the same as the prev one i got in SG (the one on the right)

*feels cheated*

okies~

shall update about the progress with my costumes @ my fc2 blog tomorrow~

final report of 1 week business trip

Sun, 11 Jul 2010 20:13:23 +0900

dad somehow cooled down when we left HK because my brother seems to be really eager to study biochem in HK.

then, we visited his guardian and talked for a bit..

after the talk, it seems that my brother's eagerness to study in HK has gone up by 10 fold.

dad's HAPPEH~!

even though my bro most likely has to go to AU first *as mentioned previously*..

but...

his guardian says this is a very excellent opportunity.

oh!

the uni that he is looking forward to study in HK is Hong Kong University of Science and Technology.

it's said to be the world's top 25 or something..??

i visited the uni.

it's really AWESOME.

seaside hostels FTW!!

i will want to live there too~~~

and fuck yes, he's going to stay there.

Vic, DAMN YOU FUCKTARD xDD

*thumbs*

then.. dad and i left SG for batam, then to sumatra to settle some business there..

*does not feel she should blog about it*

it's okay, right?? ^^;

so.. anyways, our journey home from sumatra took us 14 hours DD:

by plane, transit at Jakarta, then by public bus to home..

DD:

we're that pooooooorrrrrr you know >_____<

but yeah,

on the bright side..

dad has cooled down.

on the dark side,

i hope no one will ask about my results this semester because i haven't done well DX

i may be running away,

but i don't want to.

i will definitely take a look at it when i'm ready.

meanwhile, i'm glad that i still can advance to the next semester..

still,

there are always regrets like..

"if i had known *this* would have happened because of them, i would definitely not even want to meet them in the first place.."

"if only i had been more focussed when i was doing my work.."

i should not be beating about the bush.

mistakes are supposed to be lessons for me to improve myself and is not valid more than once.

to Lisa, Evan, Winnie, Angela and Jo:

i think you guys know what i mean and who xD

signing off~

*rolls over*

1 week business trip: part 3

Wed, 07 Jul 2010 02:31:07 +0900

whilst i will be leaving HK tomorrow, i'd like to conclude that the trip is actually quite good.. minus my dad's ranting/nagging about my brother's currently insufficient academic qualification for uni yesterday (which as you could expect made its way to me)..

well..

what can one expect?

my brother did not do biology in school yet my dad wants him to study biomed-biochem.
he definitely won't be able to, right?

in addition, his results are not as excellent..

so.. we visited some universities in HK and asked a few questions about whether ge can study there or not.
(it was mostlye asking for him anyways)
for next year after his O'lvls and the completion of his foudation studies from the AU uni academic clge, he can't.

that's no surprise...
でしょう？

but there's a solution.
he can study biology+chemistry in AU for 1 year and request for credit transfer.

that's a solution right?

even though that would mean there will be more expenses for the following year buy hey, it's an investment.
at least he will be studying in a smarter and more condusive environment after that and will be able to gain lots of working experience by working with granduncle..
rather than having to complete his studies in AU (is actually a less effective studying environment).

but hearing AU..

dad immediately goes for a cook-off.

after forcing us to do some unenjoyable shopping at Mong Kok, he ranted his way into the night at home.
even when we talked to mom and sis on skype..

what a FUCKING EXCELLENT way yo ruin my brother's spirit to study and of course, the entire trip.

he even said i demanded him to buy me a 5000HKD camera lens
WHEN I ONLY WANTED TO TAKE A look AT THE price.
wtf?

this shit is SO FUCKING ORGASMICALLY fucked up
ILU dad!!
no comment DESU!!!!!!11!!oneelevenONE!!1!!
@w@
*insert epic sacarsm*

liek... wadevaaaaa...

i'm gonna be a monkey and not listen to his shit anymore

gonna study my ass off and show him what i AM born to do ~
and also earn money while studying to at least start paying for my own expenses and save up for Canon ultra-wide angle 10-22 lens 

because........

sorry dad 
i cannot take your shit anymore 

thankfully, i dont have to see him for most of today.
i went to have a look at my relative's design studio and did some shopping.
*pics soon*

bought two books about Flash CS4 and Javascript..
and some other stuffs 

okies~
that's all i have for now.
i should head off soon b/c i have to leave for the airport at 07:30....

my toes are full of vinegar from too much heat and walking Dx
*it's summer in HK*

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1 week business trip: part 2

Mon, 05 Jul 2010 03:29:24 +0900

here involves some real-life rush hour action..

we had to fly to batam, but our flight got delayed by an hour.
we still have to ferry ourselves over to SG, meet my bro, make amendments to our ticket before 4:30 pm to be on time for check in.
but my bro came at 5+pm.
nice.
the journey overall was jyst like rush hour.

touched down Hong Kong at ard 10pm.
met granduncle, went to his hse and finally succumbed ourselves into slumber at 1:30am.

and that wraps up my 26 hr journey since waving bye bye to mum.

the next day, we visited granduncle's soap factory in the hope that my bro will spark some interest to study chemistry in HK so that he can help granduncle.
after all, granduncle needs to retire too.

we learnt a lot..

i learn so much about making medicinal beauty products, designs and the consumers market.
im really want to put my skills to use to help my granduncle market his products because they really do work.
*has used some of them since young*
although i dont think i want to stay in HK for a long term yet b/c of what i study in uni..

nevertheless, there's such thing as airplanes and internet right??

before i head off to bed, i should actually write about my SG trip last month before this one.. and maybe write about the depressing things that happened over the past few weeks as well to remind myself..

ahahas...

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1 week business trip: part 1

Mon, 05 Jul 2010 03:26:04 +0900

the expectedly boring business trip does not seem to be that bad after all..
learnt a lot about the consumer market for beauty and medical products.

as gay as it would sound, who in the world does not want to be healthy and look good?

the trip kicks off with dad and me leaving my house at 21:00 for the airport via charter.
it felt so hard leaving home b/c id rather spend more time with mom even if i forget about finishing my costumes... *was still pissed off with dad*

6.5 hrs later, we reached the airport (yea, i live that far away) after stopping 2-3x for breaks n supper.
i had little sleep along the way.. like between the breaks only?

3:30am, we hobo-ed ard the airport b/c indonesian airport workers are thay lazy and that my state is that poor to have any flights that arrive at 3am.

tried to catch some sleep at the benches ard the arrival hall (or pick-up point) but ended up testing to plau my "newly" bought pokemon game ftlols.

yes, joo herd meeee??
Pork-Quay-Manhs!!
heartgold ver. b/c im tt gay.

but my DS died.

darn joo sis for not charging it after playing cooking mama. go to hell xD

dad and i hardly spoke along the way..
even after we got in to the waiting lounge.
he must have known that i did not want to go.. with him.. somehow.. ?

*to be continued*

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a quickie before i run off to Hong Kong..

Sat, 03 Jul 2010 09:13:24 +0900

i only have about 1 minute before my dad calls me to leave this lounge to board for our flight to HK
DDX

so not looking forward to the trip..
*wants to stay at home with mum and sis*
i want to finish my Ciel costume too
DDX

anyways
just to update about my life..

lots of shiz had happened at home.
i've been clashing with dad quite a lot..
i did try to ignore him, but he's my dad and it is wrong for me to do that..
to him, me ignoring seems like i'm running away from my problems.
and of course, showing no respect to him.

a note about the issues with my cosplay life:

it is something that i cannot 100% give up upon.

as long as i make sure to not make any costume when i have uni
organize my time properly
know my priorities

so i'm not going to give it up.

it's something that is becoming more and more as a part of me ^^;

so... who says i cannot be a successful fashion/game designer who cosplays?? ;p

i will work hard from now on!
OSSU!!

to everyone who has supported me:
THANKS A BILLION!!
thank you for believing in me and for making me stronger!

a thousand mile of rant..

Thu, 17 Jun 2010 08:41:37 +0900

i give up cosplaying.

TBH, i still don't have the heart to do it and i don't think i'll ever will.

the point of me, cosplaying is ONLY to show people what i've made.
when i put on something i have made, that is when i AM doing it.

the point that my dad takes is:
1. it RUINS my ENTIRE life (societal image, time, etc..) and will not benefit my studies and future
2. it affects my studies greatly
3. it wastes too much money

for #1

as much time as i have, i do agree that cosplaying takes up quite a huge portion of it.
however, i understand my limits very well. which is why when i do have cosplays,
i avoid doing it during the time when i was supposed to study.
i HAVE PLANNED IT ALL OUT.
it's just that during april, it got fucked up *hint*.

another mistake of me was to begin going all out and pile too much on my list.
by all means, i am wrong.

society's image of me?
it's the least i'd actually care...
i don't care what my older relatives (in Indo) think about me cosplaying, what's more important is to balance out having fun and being proper, and to present myself in public properly (behaviour and what i speak).
i DO NOT throw myself among men when cosplaying NOR do i do anything outrageous to the other gender.
my cosplay partner is a girl and most of my cosplay friends are FEMALES.
i can't lie the fact that i have cosplayed as partners with a male before because the character called for it.
but what you see is all ACTING.
and cosplay IS acting, a form of art.

so.. how blunt is my dad to see that those smiles are fake?
and also, to think i am that irresponsible ALL THE TIME?

cosplaying = not related to studies
in a sense, it is a little off the tangent.
say, what about people who cosplay pac man, Link - LoZ, the elves from Linage and... final fantasy characters?
cosplay is part of the culture in games.
or metaculture, to be more exact.
shall i mention about it being part of the psychological study in games?

for #2

no doubt, it did.
because of the great shit that happened in april.
i don't want to start picking on names because i should have taken my own precaution.
on my side, i should have worked harder to complete my assignments as well as study for exams.
however, i had a month's extra worth of work to finish and my assignments load had increased exponentially (like an e ^x graph? sadly i still know my math by fingertips).
it would have been accomplishable if i HAD NOT derailed myself to watch youtube EVERY SINGLE TIME i work on my assignments.
so i blame "myselfXyoutube".
i was watching game videos.
sorry ce novi and ce cindy for gobbling up so much of our internet quota.
it's really embarassing to know that i'm so outdated with all these games when i'm actually studying games shit in uni.

still, dad, you said i cosplayed EVERY MONTH.
you got the dates wrong.
facebook only tells when those cosplay photos ARE UPLOADED.

i did not cosplay in march.
out of those, i only made costumes in jan, feb and april.
the rest are wardrobe junkies, overnight modified garments and stuffs i borrowed off people.

for #3

it IS an expensive hobby.
but the most i have spent on a costume is $250.
yet you said, 1k? $500? for EACH costume?

it is not as if i do NOT try to save money elsewhere.

i DO plan my finances unconsciously.
i have NOT bought new clothes except for t-shirts that i wear to uni because the ones that i have are getting old.

it is also not as if i don't know how hard you and mom are working to support me.
it is NOT as if i don't know our current economical situation is going downhill.
but you think you can make me concentrate on my studies FULLY when i don't know what is going on?
are you implying to me that you see me as one heartless bitch?
funny seeing your daughter as a (heartless) female dog

but whatever.

you said you will not let me continue my studies if i don't stop cosplaying.
you said you will divorce mom if i continue cosplaying.

fine.
so be it.

i really have nothing to say.

you also think that i will not be able to make it doing game studies because of my science and math background.
you mention that i can never write stories.

so as you know, i WILL prove you wrong and smack those words back at you.

because now, i HATE you so much for taking everything i love away from me.

you once did.
you took art away from me by banning me from drawing.
oh.. the countless manga i drew and threw away when i was 10.. till i had completely stopped writing manga because it's embarrassingly useless in front of him..
then i had to fight so hard to just get it back..

it's not that i don't want to listen to you.
it's just that.. do try to understand that i have my own opinions.
they may not always be right.
after all, i'm a human, i'm not born to be perfect, i make mistakes, i do not have identical brains with anyone.
i do not have an IQ of 1294306528901 like you nor do we think the same.

in Singapore..

Sat, 12 Jun 2010 09:46:39 +0900

day 4.

it has been quite a shitty thing..

i forgot to unlock my phone (which is under 3mobile.AU) so that i could go roaming..

no, more like i have no time to do it DX

so now.. i haven't been able to do ANYTHING!!

lots of things had happened.. and there's soooooo many things i wanna blog D:

but I CAN'T!!!

[/rage @ 3]

but most importantly.. i have been a bit disappointed with my parents.. as well as my bro.

i meant to come to SG to visit him and see how he's been doing..

but he's been such a plain ass.

i'm now using the hotel's public comp, so there's quite a lot of people here DX

will write more soon..