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私たちの人生は熱湯に生卵をいれれば、ゆで卵ができるくらい

至極当然で明確な法則のもと、今の結果がある。

もし今少しでも幸せでなくて、文句を言う暇があるなら、

何かを変えなければ、未来の「今」はそのまま。

アインシュタインが言うように、愚かなこととは、同じことを繰り返しながら、

違う結果を望むことである。

周りと比べて、どれだけ収入が少ないとか、活躍できてないとか、

そうゆうのはとても大事な判断を狂わす、まやかしである。

この判断基準は捨てるべきであるし、人と比べることを根本からやめなければならない。

私たちはごく普通に人と人とを比べている。

しかし、そもそも人って比べられるのか、ということを深く考えるべきである。

例えば、テストで国語50点、数学80点を取った人がいたとしよう。

この人は国語より数学が得意なのか？そうではないはずだ。もしかしたら、

その国語のテストの平均点は20点で50点を取るだけでもすごいことかもしれない。

逆に、数学はほぼ全員満点の中80点だけしか取っていないことになるだろう。このように、

国語と数学という違う性質のものを点数という同じように見える指標で図ったことによって、

この二つが比較可能であると錯覚することもあるかもしれないが、根本的に違う二つの

ものを比べることはできない。

これは人と人を比べることにもあてはまる。

なぜなら私たちは数学であり、国語であり、理科であるか。

みんな一人一人違って、多面的でもある。

人間はとても複雑な生き物で、今の私と昨日の私は違う。

仏教的な観点からすれば、「今」と打ってる私はすでに「過去」の私であるように、

今を限定すること自体が不可能なのだ。

確実なことは私が存在すること。しかし、私とは何なのか。何億個もの細胞が集まり、

臓器があり、精神があり、感情がある「人間」という生き物。私たちが毎日している「思考」

について、シナプスがどのような働きをして、このように複雑な思考ができるのか

まだ誰も解明できていない。

1秒前と気が変わり、気分の変動はいつも起こっている、私とは何なのか。

社会システムを維持し、うまく運営していくためには、そのシステムに合った構成員が、

システムに忠実に動く必要がある。

つまり、システムが定義した「人間」としての構成員として生きるということ。

経済においては、競争させること、お互いを比較させること、見栄の張り合いだったり、

嫉妬だったりを助長させることで、購買力を促進している。

つまり、お互いを比較させること自体がこの世界のシステムの一部に組み込まれていると

いうことを忘れてはいけない。

社会システムに縛られずに、大事なことを大事と言える人になるためにも、

今日から人と比較することを辞めてみよう。

そすれば、少しずつ人生が自分らしいものに変化していってることを実感できるだろう。 ]]> https://ameblo.jp/riiiiie22/entry-12108165010.html Sun, 20 Dec 2015 01:51:21 +0900 My friends who are at the similar age as me, for them it has been for the three years since they started their job. Usually, i am the last person who started my career.

Of course, I did part-time job but that is just like a "okozukai" which is only spare cash. Now, this is totally different that I have to feed myself without anyone's help.
I had been supported by my parents without no hassle. I could go to university, graduate school and foreign countries to study. They just supported me.
I am really appreciated with their understanding and respectful attitude.
I know how lucky I am.

How I spend all the money I earn depends on me. I do not need to ask anyone's permission.
If I want fancy dresses or shoes, it is ok within my budget.

Thinking like this is really new to me, I am the beginner.
To spend money wisely is important thought and this is not something naturally acquired.

I guess the most important thing is to know what is most valuable thing in my life.
What I value most is to grow up as a good person who is useful and contribute for society.
In this sense, I want to invest myself in order to achieve my life goal.

Before, I wanted expensive and stylish cloths but now comparing the value of those things and investment of myself, I know which is more important for my life.

Buying those fancy stuff will give us happiness and satisfaction, however, it won't last long. That is why every season they make "NEW" products which is not really new.
Long lasting happiness and satisfactory is only possible with having the clear value inside of your self and try hard to achieve the goal. Money cannot buy that.

In conclusion, I will talk with my self more about what kind of investment is the best way to achieve my goal.





]]> https://ameblo.jp/riiiiie22/entry-11319875428.html Sat, 04 Aug 2012 11:35:01 +0900
Maybe it is better to start at some point to record what I have done in my internship again for reflecting myself.

These 10days I had been in Cambodia to share information about the project of TB among migrants with our project partners.

TB cases have been concentrated in vulnerable and marginalised population such as prisoners, slum residents and migrants.

This project is basically focusing on Cambodian migrants who were caught in Thailand and stayed in detention centers for long.

Those people might be exposed to more TB cases than the general population, so some health screening tests should be done.

This project needs inter ministerial coordination, that is why this is really challenging.

At the same time, it is great opportunity to show that those coordination can make health intervention expanded to the other sectors such as border authority in this case.

So participating in the meetings related to this project were stimulating.



Finished everything, and now I am in Malaysia waiting for next flight back to Manila.

There was a surprising thing happened at the sturbacks.

I didn't have small dollars and my card didn't work out,then they just gave me free drink!

I think this is really amazing. Not only lucky, but they were heart warming people.

The movie "pay forward" was sit I know, but I feel like I want to pass this to the other three people like that movie.



I want to be a better person.

]]> https://ameblo.jp/riiiiie22/entry-10903676190.html Thu, 26 May 2011 16:05:05 +0900
今日は朝からオフィスに行って、少し課題を進めた。初仕事の終わりが見えて来て少し嬉しい。
Today I came to the office and proceeded a little of my assignment. I am happy to see little bit of the goal for the first assignment.




来週からは、「移民」についての文献を集めて、どのようなことが国境付近で起こっているのか、
From next week I will collect information about migrant to figure out what is happening around the cross boarder.




少しダークな部分を探ることになった。
It is going to be a bit dark.


国境付近には、国境付近ならではの問題がある。
Cross boarder has unique promlems.


例えば、ＨＩＶ／ＡＩＤＳ、ＳＴＩ（性感染症）、人身売買、薬物乱用、売春、犯罪、近隣国からの病気の輸入。
Such as HIV/AIDS, STI(Sexualy Transmitted Infections), trafficking, drug abuses, prostitution, crimes, importation of deseases from neighbour countries.


特に、ベトナム、カンボジア、タイ、ラオス付近は国境を越えて人々が頻繁に行き交っている。
Especially, among Viet Nam, Cambodia, Thailand, Lao PDR, there are a number of people coming and go over the boarders.


例えば、ベトナム人のＦＳＷ（Female Sex Worker）はベトナムの南のカントーから、歳を取ると北のラオスの国境付近
For example, Vietnamese FSW moved to northern part of Viet Nam near the Lao PDR boarder when they get older for their business.


に商売の場所を移動するらしい。そのため、ラオスにＨＩＶ／ＡＩＤＳが持ち込まれている。
That is why HIV/AIDS is imported to Lao PDR.


考えもつかないようなケースがでてきそうで、楽しみ。
There might be some cases which I cannot think of now, so it is exciting.



]]> https://ameblo.jp/riiiiie22/entry-10864860003.html Mon, 18 Apr 2011 00:42:43 +0900
今日は朝からオーバーヒート。
From the morning, my brain was over heating.

頭が働かない。カチカチマウスを動かしているだけ。
My brain didn't work properly, just moving a mouse.

今週の忙しさは半端じゃなかったから、しかたないんだけどね。
It can't help because it was crazy busy.


２週間目が今日終わった。まだ何もできていない。
My second week has just finished but i have done anything.


たくさんやらせてもらってるけど、結局中途半端だしな。
i am doing a lot of different things, but all the things are unfinished.

あーこんなんじゃだめやーん。
this is not so gooooood.


そんなにすぐできるようにならないのに。
It takes time to be capable of doing things right.


頭でわかっていても、気持ちがおいつきません。そんな金曜日。
I know that but it is difficult to feel ok.
]]> https://ameblo.jp/riiiiie22/entry-10862824419.html Sat, 16 Apr 2011 00:22:30 +0900
Time flys. I intended to write diary everyday, but it is simply very tough.


Anyway, i want to summarize my days from Satday.


On Sat, me and my friend went to Makati. Makati is a big business town in the Philippines.


My mentor told me, Makati is like Roppongi for Filipino.


There is a huge shopping mall like a city.


Actually, that is only huge, nothing else. They dont really have something, except for forever 21.


It was super cheap, everything was lower than 2000yen (1000peso).




Then on Sunday we went to Shouronpou place.


The restraunt is unexpectedly delicious for Filipino.


I almost forgot how I feel when I have delicious food.


We were pretty happy about that but later we had a tough time...


because there were so many cockroaches so had to do something.


then decided to do today.


guess how many we killed...


it was more than 50! we could make a brown mountain with them.


I feel like a murderer...








On Mon day, it was pretty busy. We had 2 meetings.


Even if it is just English, it is difficult for me to listen, so if the topic is unfamiliar, it makes me more tired.


but i have to try at least. it might connect to each other in my mind someday.








On Tuesday, we had another meeting as well.


Give me some time to think and do my work!


that was all the staff's thoughts.


my task didnt go well and spent a lot of time on them,


my working style is not efficient so I have to think about some other way to do.


spending a lot of time doesnt mean you did a lot.


have to think differently.








On Wed, there was a meeting again. This week is pretty busy with meetings.


my supervisor didn't have time to even sit and do his job.


life here is pretty busy everyday, and dealing with multiple tasks.


can't believe how much contribution they make.


everyone is really highly respectful. I am so happy to be surrounded by them.








On Thurs, i just couldn't feel i contribute.


everyone seems busy but i am just a burden on them, that is what i felt.


so came the office earlier than usual to get my self ready for a day.


it was a right decision, but still the amount i can do in a day is so small.


maybe there is only way to improve myself.


"be patient and continue trying"


anyway, I am very happy to dealing with the things I am truely interested in.


i gradually grasp an idea what i want to contribute myself in the future.


That is a huge step for me.


Everyday is a small step toward a goal.















]]> https://ameblo.jp/riiiiie22/entry-10862720027.html Fri, 15 Apr 2011 22:50:01 +0900
Today it was a busy day.


There were two meetings in the morning and at lunch time.


It was pretty interesting to attend and litening to all the things going on in this unit.


But the most interesting point was that "politics is everwhere".


We just cannot to do purely effective things on people, simply because


those money to implement project/programme is not from international organization itself most of the time.


So we have to follow the donors' conditions at some degree, even though those are rather obstacle to have


good impact.




For example, some donors want to use experts only from their own country.


And sometimes they cannot speak Engllish well.


So it is obvious that it will cause problems in a various aspects, such as report writing, trainnig on people and communication.


Though it is clear that the condition does not make sense, sometimes we cannot say just no to the donors.


Then it is all about negothiation now. Maybe introducing alternative options or modifying the original condition.




Also it happens everywhere in the donor ariented international coorperation area.


So the question is "can we implement really influential project/programm to maximize impacts without any limitation?"


The answer is no, but we can minimize the limitation.




In conclusion, we will have limitations on everything, this is inevitable.


However, if we know why we want to do it, now it comes to negotiation.


So I have to add negotiation skill on my list of training myself.
]]> https://ameblo.jp/riiiiie22/entry-10857743680.html Sun, 10 Apr 2011 20:33:28 +0900
今日はさすがに３時間睡眠で頭が全くと言っていいほどはたらいていないことがよぉくわかった。
Today, I realized that my brain didn't work properly because of the three hours of sleep.


でもこんなに自分の体と会話できてるのは初めてかもしれない。
But maybe it is my first time to be able to communicate with my body well.


いつも気が付いたら頭が働かなくなって、体調を崩していたから。
Usually when I notice, it is too late to recover soon.


でも今回は、大事な時間を無駄にしないために、体力を睡眠で全回復させないといけない
This time it is different. Maybe my body knows this is really important time, so reacting naturally to hear voices of my body


ので、体の声を聞こうと自然と体が反応しているのかもしれない。
for not wasting any minute.


体有難う。
Thank you my body.




それから、今日はすごいショッキングな話を聞いた。今まで、結核の怖さを本当に理解していなかった。
And also today I have heard really shocking story. I didn't understand how really scarely TB is.


アメリカでタイから来た２２歳の女の子の話。アメリカに入ってくるときに、厳しい健康チェックがあるらしい。
In the US, there was a 22 years-old girl emigrated from Thailand. There they have a strict health checking


それに結核の検査ももちろん含まれていて、ＭＤＲ-TB （多剤耐性菌結核）までも検出できる。
when they actually enter the country. Of course it includes TB screening which can detect MDR-TB.


その子はまさかＭＤＲ－ＴＢに感染していた。
She was actually infected with it.


今日はWorld Health Dayだったので、ついでに話すと、ＭＤＲ－ＴＢは今までＤＯＴSで使われていた
Speaking from the World Health Day today, MDR-TB cannot be cured with the current medicines


薬が全く効かないので、他の薬を使わないといけなくなる。しかしその他の薬というのがまた大変。
using in DOTS, so the peaients need other medicines. However, the other medicines are the hard part.


なぜなら、その薬はＤＯＴＳの薬よりも新しく強力と思われがちだけど、実はそうではなく、もう使われていない古い薬
Because those medicines are often thought to be stronger and newer, but actually they are too old to be used.


でしかも、毒性があるようなかなり質の良くないものをたくさん飲まなければならないのだ。
Additionally, they have to take those poisonous and low-quality medecines a lot.


結局今まで飲まれていなくて、耐性の出ていない薬は古くて効き目もあまりないため治療は長期間に渡る。
In other words, the medicines without TB resistance have not been used for TB treatment and old.
Those less effective medicines make the treatment period longer.


そうすると何が起こるか、あまりの副作用で飲んだら吐く毎日。注射の毎日。そんな絶望の毎日が２年間続くのだ。
Then what will happen? Because of strong side-effect, the paitients throw up and have inject everyday.
The hopeless days will continue for two years.


そして、この薬を飲み始めると、何が起こるか定かではないので妊娠はしないようにヘルスワーカーから指導されている。
Then, when they start treatment, they are told not to get pregnant by health workers because nobody knows what will happen to the baby.


しかし、この彼女、彼氏がオーストラリアにいてアメリカに遊び来たときになんと薬の投与期間にも関わらず妊娠して
However, even though this girl was on the medication, she got pregnant when her boyfriend came to the US from Australia.


しまった。そして、ワーカーとの相談の末中絶をせざる終えない結論に達し、中絶してしまった。
Then she ended up to having an abortion after consulting with the health workers.


しかし一番最悪なのは、彼女はＨＩＶ陽性者でもなければ、結核経験者でもない、初感染の患者さんだってこと。
This is no the worst part actually. The most shockin part is that she is neither HIV+ or past-infected patients, but
this is the first time to get infected.


ということは、もうＭＤＲ－ＴＢは確実に広がってきているということ。全く他人事ではない話。
This means that MDR-TB is spreading day by day for sure. This is not others business any more.





]]> https://ameblo.jp/riiiiie22/entry-10857737204.html Sun, 10 Apr 2011 20:28:03 +0900
「蓮の花は泥沼に咲く」
"A flower of lotus blooms in a mud"

「結核は薬が治すのではない、人が人を治すのだ」
"People with TB is not cured by medicines, but people cures them"


これは今日私が教えてもらった大事なこと。
Thoese are very important things I taught today.






「蓮の花は泥沼に咲く」
"A flower of lotus blooms in a mud"


どの分野でも、絵描きも俳優も作家も本当に心を打つ芸術は「現実」世界を知って経験している、
In any area, such as painters, actors and writers creating the most beautiful art to move people,
they know and actually experience "reality".


つまり泥沼を避けては本当に美しいものは生まれない。
In other word, we cannot creat really beautiful things avoiding those muds, reality.


これは人生も同じだと思う。泥沼の現実を生き抜いてこそ本当に大切なものが自分の中に生まれるのかな。
I think it is same as life. When we get through a muddy life, we might have really important thing in ourselves.




「結核は薬が治すのではない、人が人を治すのだ」
"People with TB is not cured by medicines, but people cures them"


結核が９０年代に劇的に減ってきたのは、ＤＯＴＳ（Directly Observed Treatment Short-course）戦略が
People say that expanding of DOTS strategy lead successful reduction of TB patients.


広がり成功してきたからだと言われている。この戦略の成功は、もちろん薬の発展による貢献も大きいのだが、
Of course the development of medicines contribute a lot to the success, but also existence of others watching


患者が薬を飲むときに必ず観察する他人がいることがそれに組み込まれたことが一番の要因であると言われている。
patiens when they take medicines plays the most significant role for the success.


つまり、ただ薬を投与するだけでは結核は治せない。
In such, only providing medicines cannot cure TB,


人が人をケアし、本当に治ってほしいという気持ちが人を治すのです。
but it is people who cares petients and hoping they will get better soon cure TB patients.













]]> https://ameblo.jp/riiiiie22/entry-10853933910.html Thu, 07 Apr 2011 01:00:32 +0900

今日は昨日落ち込んでいたのを見てとってくれたスーパーバイザーが仕事をくれた。
Today my supervisor gave me tasksk, maybe because he could notice I was down yesterday.


自分がすごく興味のある分野で、今までもやりたいと言っていたもの。
That is what I am really interested in and I have said I want to contribute to.


これはチャンス！絶対成果を出したい！
This is a big chance, I want to have a good result!


色々と熱心に教えてくれるし、彼の持ってる技術をすべて吸収したい！
He teach me with passion, so I want to absorb all the skills he has.


やる気みなぎるーーー
I am fully motivated now!




そしてもう一つ鳥肌がやまぬ出来事がおきた。
And also there was another miracle happened.


たまたまインターンがフィリピンで一緒になったクラスメイトと一緒に
Coincidently one of my class mates also came to the Philippines for her intern.


ショッピングモールを歩いていると、見知らぬ男の人が声をかけてきた。
When we walked in the shopping mall, a stranger talked to us


「いや～久しぶり」
“Long time no see”


えっ友達？
E? Are you guys are friends?


フィリピンに旅行にきていた彼女の友達とばったりモールで遭遇。
We met her friend who came here on holiday by chance.


こんな偶然ありですか？これも何かの縁　 ♥
Is there any coincident like this? This might mean something 　♥


３人で意気投合してサンミーゲル（フィリピンのビール）で乾杯。
We three got along with each other and tossed with San miguel (Philippine beer)


出会い、仕合せやっぱり何か意味があるんだろうな。
Always each meeting has some meangs, maybe.
]]> https://ameblo.jp/riiiiie22/entry-10852910260.html Wed, 06 Apr 2011 06:12:03 +0900