On March 22, 2017,  I had a general surgery that took 9 hours.  My surgeon and her team took everything including some lymph nodes to make sure that the cancer wouldn't spread and grow if it is really is malignant.   The pain was unbearable.  The best way I can do to keep my mind off the pain was to close my eyes, think and put them into writing.  That goes >>>>>>>

👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

"The Rage Battle

In the darkness alone

No place to call my home

Searching for a light of peace

In the midst of the Rage Battle

Fighting for better or worse

No one could ever help

Crossing bridges far beyond my way

In you holding on my trust

Take me far away

Away from the Rage Battle

Held hostage not by guns and bombs

Let my wings be flying free

Battle continues, not only for my life

But for my family and those who loves me

Soon to gone when a beam of light buzzed to life

You haven't taken me, You let me live again"

Two weeks after the biopsy, the result was a heart breaking explanation by my surgeon.  I was diagnosed with  (Serous Adenocarcinoma Ovarian Cancer Stage IIIB) I was with my husband listening to the result.  There are words that you don't really wanna hear.  And there comes a time that you can hear the worst thing to ever happen in your entire life.  Words that can bring your whole body to a total weakness.  My eyes widely opened , never cried  but asked instead what would be the next therapy to do.

I need to undergo chemotherapy for 6 sessions which is a three days stay in the hospital every after three weeks.  And 16 outpatient sessions.  On April 18, I had my first chemotherapy session.  After two weeks,  my hair started to fall even by just touching it.  I asked my husband to bring me to the barber cause I wanted to get a skin head cut.  LOL I can't see my hair falling and I felt like someone stabbing my heart when  I saw it falling.  The barber said "Why in heaven sake you wanted to have a skin head?  You're the only one among the ladies around to have a skin head?"  I said "Oh,  it's the new hair cut for women, and it's going to be a trend from now on". Hahahaha. When I had my haircut done, I turned to be someone with a renewed personality.  I laughed everytime I saw my head in the mirror.  I said to my myself.  (Oh God!  I look  pretty  good in my new hair style).  Hahaha. See the photo below.

Aside from hair falling, each session of my chemo provided different side effects including Muscle weakness, Neuropathy,  Stumbling while walking, No reflexes,  Blood  pressure changes , Nose bleeding while sneezing 🤧, Skin discoloration and more.  Despite of those difficulties I worked 6 hours a day Monday to Friday.

WHY???! Hmmm simply because I feel sick if I just stay at home.

The scheduled 5th and 6th chemo sessions were rescheduled after a week  because of the reduction in my platelet counts. After my fifth session, my head looked like the shiny back of a turtle hahaha It seems like all of my hair was totally gone Including my countable eyebrows .  And my previously long lashes were now so few.  It felt sad to see my face in the mirror . I never let the sickness took its toll on me. Instead, I sat and put on heavy make up with the help of my great friend Ate Lilia  as shown on the photo hahaha

I showed this photo to a lady whom I considered as my second mother and she said that I'm the most beautiful among all the gays around and she burst into laughter hahahaha

My testimonials/revelation is written intentionally to encourage people around who are diagnosed with cancer and to those who are sick.  Sickness doesn't mean the end of someone's life.  It is the greatest challenge of life.  Our lives happen with a  blink of an eye just like magic.  But never give up, keep pushing and keep trying and never stop believing in yourself.  Try to be positive and happy.  Listen to good songs as music can help thru any situations.  And above all , worship HIS holy name above whatever may pass and whatever lies ahead 

CHEERSSS,