★汚れている幻想☆ Яει https://ameblo.jp/taintedabyss/ 揺るがなかったのはもう信じる事を忘れたくなかったから、　遠すぎたこの距離を埋める言葉が見つからない・・・一人きりで見た空もすれ違う中で見た夢もあの日のまま何も変わらず　あなたの中で今もずっと・・・ ja Mortal Emotions Staring blankly　O_O

Thoughts of what went wrong with me came in.. There is nowhere for me to escape, to hide..

Everywhere seems so wrong for me to be..

 

After such a long time, i realize i am just one pathetic being...

Whenever there is a crisis, i got no one to seek to; no one to run to...

「Why」 i always ask.. Am i always to endure all these within me and get it over

I wanted to shout, to say, to scream, that i am in fact not fucking strong but why, things just got stuck in my throat and dissolved..

Why again, no one believes me when i always said that? Is it my aura that gives out always so different then what i am?

 

I put up a strong and brave front to everyone..i seriously hope i can lead someone somehow..

Guess i am nothing but a pure failure..

I did my best to hold it all in but probably there is a limit within myself and i always overdo without realizing it till i am feeling so restless to the verge of breaking down..

 

Someone ask me before, 「is it worth it for all these?」

i replied, 「yes」 as long as i can bring a smile to someone, no matter what cost it will take me, i am willing to go for it as long as the person is worth it..

I am wrong.. In the end, i am just another prick, acting all mighty when i am just a trash on its own causing unnecessary burden and pain to others..

 

I shouldnt have existed... To anyone here or there..　o(；△；)o

I deserve to be left alone and handle only myself

 

Serves me right for butting in to anything or anyone.. Serves me right to be on the verge of destruction by my own means..

 

Yes, serves me right..

Let me be off on my own and probably find back my emotion-less to all　p(^-^)q

]]> https://ameblo.jp/taintedabyss/entry-10892585342.html Sun, 15 May 2011 18:29:57 +0900 久しぶり～ Overstress in a big lot (ノ◇≦。)

Imma now trying to calm myself down but it aint helping at all..
i tired crying but no tears fall... I tried drinking but imma never get drunk~ (￣∩￣#
WHY??!!
I realize imma just some random stranger who roam the street aimlessly..
My world is never filled with light and i am trying so hard that imma on the verge of destruction..
In reality, who really knows?

Mask is tough.. I know but does u mofo, realize that having a happy mask(hiding all) is even harder?
Just cuz imma filled with pride and confidence, (^人^)
i will try to swallow everything on my own without bothering others but in fact i am really in pain~
Who knows? But nevermind!!

Actually fact is, imma fucking fragile but who knows? No one.. (^_^)v



Darkness evolved me.....
I doubt i will recover...................................
Unless u give me a year time or more (TωT)
Maybe~~~
]]> https://ameblo.jp/taintedabyss/entry-10797082296.html Fri, 11 Feb 2011 07:22:29 +0900 ＾－＾
クラッカークラッカー明けましておめでとうございます～！！クラッカークラッカー

皆には1年の好調なスタートがあるという望み　(＝⌒▽⌒＝)
 ]]> https://ameblo.jp/taintedabyss/entry-10765208780.html Sat, 01 Jan 2011 00:37:15 +0900 幸せ。。。

それほど容易に彼らの気持ちを終える、または変えても、なぜ恋人をしますか?

まるでそれらに、関係が歯を磨くのと同じくらい簡単であるよう。　(´＿｀｡)


それは記憶を全く保持しませんか? …
何も海難救助である本当にものがありませんか? …
それは痛みませんか? …

結局、それはとても長いです。。。


むかっ愛はそのような複雑。　

俺は単語を超えています。　＊面倒くさい＊　(((( ;°Д°))))
]]> https://ameblo.jp/taintedabyss/entry-10732201286.html Thu, 09 Dec 2010 22:19:39 +0900 Dinner and Dance 2010

ぐぅぐぅ本当に詰らんかった。。。　(￣_￣ i)


そして、プログラムは、子供のために作られていた同類です。むかっ
その食物が、最低です。　糞のような味！！　＼(*｀∧´)／

じゃ、これはいわゆる5スターホテルの規格です？
あーあ～　失望したな　(-。－；)
]]> https://ameblo.jp/taintedabyss/entry-10720598452.html Sat, 20 Nov 2010 10:49:28 +0900 保険試験、終わりです
俺はすべての合格点でコースを完成しました。　クラッカー

より良い未来を楽しみにするでしょう～♪
]]> https://ameblo.jp/taintedabyss/entry-10720770651.html Thu, 04 Nov 2010 22:33:27 +0900 パス

試験、パス～　ヾ(＠°▽°＠)ﾉ
好かったね。

しかし、ぐぅぐぅ　
まだ、行くために、もうひとつあります。　ヽ(;´Д｀)ノ ]]> https://ameblo.jp/taintedabyss/entry-10694382601.html Fri, 22 Oct 2010 22:19:46 +0900 試験
そして、1つのマークで失敗します！！　あり得ない　＼(゜□゜)／　
試験に再び行かなければなりません。

あーあ．．．　面倒くさい！　(｡-人-｡)


それを作ることができるかどうかと思います～～　♪ ]]> https://ameblo.jp/taintedabyss/entry-10680936376.html Fri, 15 Oct 2010 11:14:29 +0900 仕事に戻る
The first person I totally detest to see is my new manager [which obviously I don't have any choice from now on]. There she is, sitting in front of me and I gotta see her fucking bitchy face (-。－；)


Alrights, put that aside for now.
When I check my work email, there I see a new mail from her, planning to implant some new shit changes which totally turns me off and feel like tearing her apart. Its so obvious that our workload and schedule are already in a hectic and dramatic mode. There she is, happily adding on to our unfortunate (￣∩￣#

If you are new, learn and obverse first before you bloody start to make new changes. Its already so tough and now trying to make it even more unbearable.
Reason: Trying to make things better and convenience for us - -|| [Yeah right, my ass!]

What a hypocrite! I won't be surprise when more people start to tended their resignation (￣ー￣）


Fucking moronic retard. (￣へ ￣ 凸
Why don't you just die away somewhere and leave us in peace.
あーあ！ Still gotta see her face for the rest of my time there (ﾟ＿ﾟi) Maybe I should do something to chase her away? LOL I doubt it will be successful since I feel that she belongs to those hardcore cunning slut.

Whatever..... φ(．． ) Shall ignore her and see how it goes but yeah, totally disgusted..
]]> https://ameblo.jp/taintedabyss/entry-10672441831.html Thu, 07 Oct 2010 22:08:19 +0900 Jamesの誕生日ビデオ！！



Jamesに,
To James,

びくりた。　(●´ω｀●)ゞ
What a surprise.

でも、ありがとうな。　(・ω・)　俺は本当に、本当に超嬉しいです！！　 ﾍ(ﾟ∀ﾟ*)ﾉ
But, thank you so much. I am awfully happy over it!!

あなたは、俺の日を輝かせて、俺の顔に微笑を加えさせました。　(＾ε＾)
You had brighten my day and add a smile to my face.


P/S: It was really unexpected.
I didn't expect that you would do a video instead of a sign.. LOL!!
Love ya~ 'ω' ]]> https://ameblo.jp/taintedabyss/entry-10672435011.html Tue, 05 Oct 2010 20:28:54 +0900