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]]> https://ameblo.jp/tuv372/entry-11821202674.html Sun, 13 Apr 2014 05:05:26 +0900 OAKLEY Crosshair OAKLEY DISPATCH When is a lens REALLY not a lens?
-When it’s a-fake-ic.

Where is the eye located?
-between the H and the J.

Px mum: Why do u love that eye doc?
Px: Because it’s eye-deal mum (ideal) ………….GET IT

Q. Where does bad light end up?
A. In Prism

What music do optoms listen to?
-itunes

Optician: You need glasses.
Patient: But I’m wearing glasses.
Optician: Then I need glasses.

A man went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked, “Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?”
“Yes, of course,” said the doctor, “why not!”
“Oh! How nice it would be,” said the patient with joy, “I have been illiterate for so long.”

What did the frame tag say to the frame?
-I have a crush on you.

Q: Who has the 3 Eyes?
A: Kurt Angle (Three I’s=Integrity, Intensity & Intelligence)

How do you take over the globe?
-with a contact lens

Where do you send a depressed eye?
-to the low vision centre

What type of vision do dustbin men (and dustbin women) have?
-bin-ocular vision

Q. What do you call a dinosaur with 2 heads, 2, tails, 8 legs, and 2 bodies?
A. A Diplopiasaurus!
(This also works with a dinosaur with a traumatic eso/exo/hypo/hypertropia, but that isn’t quite so funny….)

Polish man goes into an opticians…
Optician covers one eye up and says to the bloke…
“Can you read the bottom line ?”
Polish man says ” Read it ! I know him ”

Px: I keep getting a stabbing pain in my eye every time I drink coffee
Optom: Have you tried taking the spoon out of the cup?

Doctor: Read the bottom line
-Patient: Copyright 1995 Made OAKLEY Crosshair in Japan

What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur?
- Douthinkhesaraus

What is the difference between an optom student and the trash?
-At least the trash goes out once a week!
Little Johnny’s neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately the baby, was born without ears. When the mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny’s family was invited over to see the baby.? Before they left their house, Little Johnny’s dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby’s missing ears or even said the word “ears” he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home. Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely. When Johnny looked in the crib he said,” What a beautiful baby.” The mother said, “Why, thank you, Little Johnny.” Johnny said, “He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?”
“Yes, the mother replied, “we are so thankful. The doctor said he will have 20/20 vision ”
“That’s great,” said little Johnny, “cuz he’d be shit-outta-luck if he needed glasses.”

Doctor (whose English isn’t very good): You store eyeglasses just in case.
-Confused Patient: Just in case of what?

A woman walks into an optician to return a pair of spectacles that she purchased for her husband a week before.
The assistant asks, “What OAKLEY DISPATCH seems to be the problem, Madam?”
The woman replies, “I’m returning these spectacles I bought for OAKLEY Racing Jacket my husband. He’s still not seeing things my way.”

A Polish person went to have their eyes tested. The eye test chart read: N Y X C S F R U Z. The optom asked, ‘can you read any of those letters?’ ‘read it?’ the polish person answered, ‘i know him!’

What game do frames play?
-tag

What do you call a blind stag?
No Eye-Deer

What did the sailor say to the captain of the optom boat?
-eye-eye captain

What is an Irish persons favourite organ?
-eyeee

What did the right eye say to the left eye?
-Between you and me, there’s something that smells…

Patient: “I can’t see very far in these new glasses”
Optom takes him to the door: “What’s that up there?”
Px: “The sun”
Optom: “How far do you want to f****** see!”

What happens when the retina cries?
-you get retinal tears

(For more PC versions, substitue “blind” for “severely sight impaired”)

What did the frame-tag say to the detagging gun?
-Ex-SKU’s me
(SKU = barcode at vision express)

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no eye-deer

What do you call a blind dinosaur’s dog?
Doyoufinkhesaurus Rex

What do you call a norwegian optom?
-Toric the Viking

“A guy was in specavers the other day….guess who he bumped into??
-Everyone!!”

A man went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked, “Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?”
“Yes, of course,” said the doctor, “why not!”
“Oh! How nice it would be,” said the patient with joy, “I have been illiterate for so long.”

I was telling my staff about a patient with uveitis. They asked, “is that when they get exposed to too much UV light?”

What happened to the lab tech when he fell into the lens grinder?
-he made a spectacle of himself

How many optometrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
( I don’t know)
You tell me.. is it one or two?

and a deer with no eyes, no legs and no…erm….sexual organs?
still no ***king eye-deer

An ophthalmic surgeon is doing an operation. He’s about to finish when, surprisingly, the patient wakes, sits up, and demands to know what’s going on.
“I’m about to close,” says the surgeon.
The patient grabs the surgeon’s hand and says, “I’m not going to let you do that. I’ll close my own incision.”
The surgeon hands him the needle and thread and says, “Suture self.”

What was the lens’s excuse to the policeman?
-I’ve been framed officer

Patient: I always see spots before my eyes.
optom: Didn’t the new glasses help?
Patient: Sure, now I see the spots much clearer.

Knock, knock
whos there?
Got it in one (WHO= World Health Organisation)

How do you make a blonde’s eyes twinkle?
-Shine a light in her ear.

What did the mummy contact lens say to the naughty child contact lens??
-I’ve had enough, go and sit in the cornea!

How do you diagnose a prostitute’s eye?
-It accomodates but doesn’t reaction

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh

When is a lens not a lens?
-When it’s aphakic.

Q. What happens when you split a prism?
A. All the prismers escape

Patient – ‘Doctor, doctor, I think I’m an Interview lens!’
Doctor – ‘Really? What are your symptoms?’
Patient – ‘Did you see the England game last night? I thought that Rooney did ver….. oh, sorry, I digress…’

Q: How do you pay for Progressive Addition Lenses (PAL)?
A: PayPAL

Sol had lived a long life, which was drawing to its end. As his family surrounded him on his deathbed, he asked to see his optometrist.
“Optometrist?” they asked. “Why in the world do you want to see your optometrist?”
“Just get him for me.”
So they go get Dr. Kaplan, who, on seeing Sol about to depart this life, asked, “Sol, it pains me to see you like this. What can I possibly do for you?”
Sol opened his eyes slightly and said, “Doc, before I go, there’s one thing I have to know. Which one was clearer – A or B?”

Guy goes in to his local optometrists carrying a tuba case. When he gets into the consult room he opens the case a shows the optom. Inside is the biggest turd imaginable. The optom shreaks “What the Hell is your problem, get out of here you sicko!” and the bloke says “No, no you don’t understand. Everytime I do one of those my eyes water”

While going through the morning ritual of visiting all my daily favourite website haunts before getting down to doing some work, I came across an interesting group on Facebook called “Optometry Jokes”.? Hell I couldn’t keep these jokes to myself so decided to post them all on our Blog for those non ‘facebookers’ out there.? Some of them are funny, some are just plain awful…

What do you call a blind dinosaur?
Doyoufinkhesaurus

What do you call a OAKLEY FLAK JACKET deer without eyes?
-No idea

]]> https://ameblo.jp/tuv372/entry-11819741661.html Fri, 11 Apr 2014 13:08:12 +0900 OAKLEY FLAK JACKET OAKLEY SPLIT JACKET It doesn't matter how small a challenge you take on for charity this weekend, if you are putting yourself to the limit of your own abilities and raising good money you should be very proud of yourself. Needless to say, good luck Frank, we'll be glued to our screens tonight to cheer you on. If you want to donate money to Frank Skinner for Sport Relief OAKLEY FLAK JACKET you can do so though the official site.

You can see John Bishop's incredible challenge on the BBC iPlayer and also see John's experience in Sierra Leone to see the amazing work that can be achieved by donations from Sport Relief. I urge you to head over to John's official Sport Relief page to donate.

As a side note, we couldn't help but notice that John was OAKLEY SPLIT JACKET wearing Adidas Supernova Pro sports sunglasses on his challenge. As a second side note: we were lucky enough to meet John Bishop at Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2010. We bumped into him in the street and said hello, shook his hand and told him we OAKLEY PLAINTIFF would be seeing his show (The Sunshine Tour) later that day… He replied with "Oh thanks, it's probably gonna be s***!!!". But it was absolutely brilliant. We salute you John.

Adidas Supernova Pro

As for John Bishop – The popular comedian from Liverpool recently completed his "Week of Hell" challenge covering 295 miles from Paris to London under the power of his own will and the countless people who had already sponsored him. John had to cycle from Paris, row the English Channel and then run more than 3 marathons from Dover to London all in five incredibly painful and tiring days. Quite frankly he looked shattered and I honestly don't know how he did it.

And good luck to anyone else out there who will be pushing themselves to the limit for charity this weekend.

John Bishop - Sport Relief 2012 - Wearing Adidas Sunglasses

John Bishop you are a legend, you really are. The 23-25 March 2012 is Sport Relief – there is no way you can miss this, as its all over the telly box right now and with good reason. People up and down the country have OAKLEY FAST JACKET been, or will be taking part in all kinds of sport related challenges this weekend for charity. Some of those challenges will be big, some will be small and some of them will be personal mountains – such as comedian Frank Skinner who will be facing his biggest fear on live television in front of millions tonight; for Frank Skinner will not only be getting into a swimming pool, but that pool will also be full of water!!! Frank will then attempt to swim 25 metres, a challenge that will test Frank Skinner to the limit of his character.

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